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Cars, Stones and backpacks

CLove's picture

It was a whirlwind of activity on our end. As it was a skid-free weekend, it was enjoyable in me being all about me, instead of worrying about Munchkin SD13 and her entertainment.

Firstly, the area I live near was all about cars for the whole darn week, culminating in a huge show and lots of parties. We saw cars that are concepts, so they are not even available on the market. Cars from the 1930's. Lamborginis, Ferraries, and all that.

Sunday we attended the Rolling Stones concert! It was an almost sold out show. Forget about fitness coaches, I want to know what THEY do for health, because they were all over the stage, and the energy was incredible.

That being said, the only fly in my ointment was when Munchkin SD13 decided she needed her backpack from our house and "just dropped by".

This has been an issue for a while, as you have read from my previous posts. It doesnt even begin to compare with some of the dastardly deeds of some skids you all are having to deal with. Its probably such a small thing it doesnt even warrant a blip on the radar of steptalk. But here it goes:

I had no idea that she would drop by, but she had called the day before. When I asked DH, he just said we would drop it off on our way out of town, no problem. Yet, when DH leaves for an errand, I get a knock on the door, and I ALMOST did not answer. I did, gave her a hug, and she said she had called and texted but got no answer, so just decided to knock when she saw my car. So what you may ask, is your freaking problem?

You see, I am a stickler for manners. When I am going to "drop by" my own parents house, whom I love and they love me, and I have a key, I NEVER just drop by without a call and/or text. High Conflict BM Toxic Troll ALWAYS likes to "just drop something off, just drop by", without ANY notice, and often when we are not there. Such as when she wanted to stuff our mailbox with crap.

BTW, in conclusion to "Mail-Gate", DH just told me this morning that he had mentioned to Toxic Troll, AGAIN thowing me under the bus, with "Clove doesnt want anyone messing with the mailbox, so dont put anything in there." He refuses to simply tell her no. Do not drop by when we arent there, we dont need you dropping anything off at our house, dont drop by without calling/texting, just DONT.

In our discussion this morning before I left for work, I said to him, "please just have a small word with Munchkin that it isnt good to just drop by without calling/texting. She called, and texted, but never received confirmation that it was ok. What if I were naked, and running around the house?"

His reponse was classic! "Well we are dealing with cave people, neanderthals over there. They dont get it, we have to use small steps. They dont understand respect and consideration over there."

Like Over There is some other country with different rules. So step-life-ey, the rules and manners are ALWAYS different OVER THERE in BM-Toxic Troll country. I told him "its your job to teach Munchkin differently, to have respect for others, to have better cnsideraton and manners."

He said tread lightly and back off on speaking to Munchkin. Ergo,  I will have find a different way, to convey the "no dropping by unannounced" thing, because he just refuses to address it. Doesnt want to rock the boat, doesnt want to upset Toxic Troll. When someone you like or love just drops by - its completely different, but still not something they would do. When someone you despise drops by, its such a buzz kill.

Happy Moday, all.


CLove's picture

BRILLIANT!!!! Id thought of something similar after the incident.

somethingwicked's picture

Coke .and not the cola kind..that is what those old rockers  do for energy.

Your DH ..making excuses for his Ex and family...And  still tip toeing and expects you to as well.And throws you under the bus."Clove doesn't want you to  mess with the mailbox.." he should straightout tell the BioHoBag hands off and stop trespassing.

I'd tell "Munchin" the 13 year old straight out not to just pop in .

Tell her you may be naked running around..What you said to DH.

She is old enough to understand privacy..or at least call before or knock ..

CLove's picture

Never got into that myself.

YES, I freaking HATE his little tip toe dance through hoops that he does. I would LOVE to unleash on her. But we must keep things evenly keeled and are relying on the tip toe dance to get us through the next 4 years and 9 months...

Yes, Ill definitely mention something...naked me will surely be a deterrent.

tog redux's picture

Clove doesn't like people messing with the mailbox! LOL! Neither does the federal government, just sayin'. 


CLove's picture

it is a federal crime, she stiffened up and said "right". She has no clue!


CLove's picture

What her understanding of things is. She sees my frustration and I just think its conflict avoidance because we are in a high conflict situation with her mother.

It didnt really bother me, just Im not as good as DH at tip toeing around things.

TimeToGo's picture

At least with all the cars leaving today I was able to motivate myself to go to work Smile Cuz I'm sure there's a Bentley in my future... There were like 20 of them on the highway today, along with their Rally Car!

CLove's picture

Yes, the Bentley won!!!!

CLove's picture

She doesnt have a key to the house, no, but there is access on the sideyards I need to cut off thanks for the reminder.

The reason she doesnt have a key yet is because previously Toxic Troll would use Feral Forgers key to get inside the house. I dont trust Munchkin SD13 to be able to say "no" to her mother asking to come inside (for example "can I use the bathroom...?" ) when we are not there.

I ONLY answered because she wanted her backpack, so she could study, and hopefully bring up her bad grade in math. Believe me that is the ONLY reason. I would have let her bang away on that door all day. JK. It was a while that she was there waitinga nd knocking and calling out. I think she might have gotten the message that if she doesnt get a confirmation from me, just dont show up.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

We didn't head your way this year, but I followed some of the events. An old friend hosts the Councours d'Lemons, which is a hoot, but it's an expensive proposition to attend all the events.

I too hate the avoidance, nonparenting, and tolerating of the unacceptable that we are expected to put up with from our wounded partners. That aside, YSD once walked in to naked me eating lunch in the kitchen (she was supposed to be at community college classes). Talk about an object lesson!

CLove's picture

Thats AWESOME! I routinely walk around my home nekked, and DH complains about the neighbors. I fully expect to start taking this kind of advantage in the near future of skid-free days/nights as nekked days/night. Thats a viable option "oh skiddo, I DID warn you to call/text first!!!"

I wanted to go to the Lemons..but got up too late and got started on everything too late.

OH If you make it over let me know!!!

Exjuliemccoy's picture

We had No Pants Sunday yesterday morning, just because.

Clove, you need to train your H that hot monkey sex can be had in any room at any time - IF privacy is ensured.