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Case closed

classyNJ's picture

We received the letter from DYFS stating they are closing the case and that there will be no therapy required from either us or SS16.

SS20 was home when DH opened it.  He said to me "well thats good, right'?  um no hon, see it stays there for 3  years and my job requires checks every year so they can decide to question me about the record for 3 years.

And no - what makes it ok for a kid to try to ruin his fathers reputation, carreer, life and be labled as a child abuser to get what he wants??  

At the same time I just want feel so detached from being part of this family.  I refuse to discuss anything to do with SS16.  They both will tell me little things going in with him but I just nod and change the subject so it comes down to them going to a seperate room to make plans for SS16 sports, etc.  What was once part of my everyday life is just now gone.  Yes for my sanity and I cannot forgive someone who can't even apologize but it still hurts to no end.


thinkthrice's picture

REAL abuse cases get overlooked.  It's much easier for these agencies to make the numbers by going after the low hanging fruit of harrassing biodad on his parentinig time.   No danger involved, no real casework involved. 

Just "Junior said Daddddeeee is a big meanie for making me clean up my room and taking away my phone for punishment."

The agencies get on that like a dog with a bone.  Sickening.   I know when my skids made a phoney report against us to CPS just to please their CPS WORKER mommykins, the Girhippo, I knew the downhill descent's bottom dropped out.  In particular SD who had ZERO remorse and was just pissed that we had to sell the ATV as the next little bump would be labeled "abuse!"

tog redux's picture

They closed it - what does that mean? Here, things are deemed either "founded" or "unfounded" before they close, and the unfounded ones won't be on anyone's record.

classyNJ's picture

that it was unfounded so they are closing the file on this "indicident" but it remains on record for 3 years incase something happens where DYFS is called again.  At least that is what the case worker told us.  

Goodluck's picture

Reading your post makes me feel sick...

What is your husbands postition on this matter? Is he still going to allow  all visits with ss16? OR go see ss16. OR has he decided in order to say what reputation he has left, to back off completely?

NJ, this is something you just do NOT get over.


classyNJ's picture

The good thing is that the case worker from the get go told us, the school and DBDB that SS16 was lieing and trying to manipulate the system to get what he wants so DH reputation is still intact.

SS16 has been to the house twice but will only be there when SS20 is there since DH will not drive to get him.  And I will never be alone with him so I'm not picking him up.

We have nanny cams in the house so I feel safer when he is there.

thinkthrice's picture

for the child abuse agencies around here.   For one, they hired the GIRHIPPO, the worst parent I've ever come across in my lifetime, for another thing there are plenty of news stories around here were REAL abuse went undetected or the various agencies dropped the ball because the case was "too dangerous" or "too politically incorrect" to prosecute.  We had a case recently where a "mother' who was in and out of mental hospitals literally decapitated her 7 year old child!!  CPS totally dropped the ball on that one.  The mental health dept of the hospital she was in claimed no responsibility whatsoever. 

classyNJ's picture

Unfortunately I feel its the same everywhere.  Our case worker was pissed because she told us that during all of this that she was on a case where the boy was being abused daily and in and out of the hospital and she still couldn't remove him from the house yet.  Just so sad.