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In Laws are Coming

CityGirl's picture

My in-laws are coming for the weekend. I do not mind when they come and have often told them they are welcome anytime. I feel it is important for SD9 and SS12 to have a good relationship with them. I have always gotten along with them. Then the past few times I have seen them my Mother-in-law brings up BM. She always asks how she is, which I have never minded because I feel the Skids need to feel free to talk about her in front of me. About 6 weeks ago we were all together and she brought up DH and BM's wedding. She talked about how beatuiful it was and how perfect. She was not only saying this to me she was telling my sister-in-law about it. My sister-in-law said well that did not work out and I think his second wedding was beatiful. At which time my Mother-in-law turned to me and said I suppose it was but I do not think it could compare to his first. I was hurt by this as I had wanted to elope and we had a big wedding so his mom could invite her family. She has since made comments to the children about how perfect their lives use to be and how cute the family was when their parents were married. The kicker in all this is my mother-in-law says she hopes she never sees BM again as she is still mad at her. She will tell DH that I am the favorite daughter in law and she adores me. DH tells me to ignore her or tell her that I do not like to hear stories pre-me. I feel he should talk to his mother. I tell him I am hurt with what she says. DH then says I am oversenitive. Am I being overly sensitive? How do I handle it if she starts this weekend with all of this?

Comments

soverysad's picture

I think she is damaging the kids by constantly telling them their lives "used to be better". Your dh should address this with her from that perspective. You are not being overly sensitive and i'd personally like to talk to her for you, but she may hear it better from your dh in regards to the kids.

"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"

CityGirl's picture

I think that is a good idea to have DH talk to her for the children. I think if he would start there and also talk about what she has said to me she might be more open as she does not want to hurt her grandchildren.

TheWife's picture

I don't understand how on earth she is hearing things not actually said if she clearly said they WERE said? I don't think the poster is delusional or has Alzheimers.

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Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

frustratedinMA's picture

Please tell me you are being sarcastic.. as I am SURE that you wouldnt like it if it was done to you, nor would you appreciate someone calling you a liar.

TheWife's picture

Oooh good idea! I am gonna try this one on MY outlaws!

____________________________________________________________________

Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

TheWife's picture

I was on vacay but I am back now. I am not really into posting blogs cuz I got some things I gotta figure out but I couldn't resist popping in on here and checking on everyone. The vacay was great, actually. DH has been getting on my nerves (and I am sure I his)since yesterday but we made an appt with a marriage counselor for wednesday so we shall see!

Sorry for the hi-jack!

And for SURE I am doing this to the outlaws!!

____________________________________________________________________

Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

starfish's picture

HELL NO you're not being overly sensitive...... i love stepaside's advice.... i think i will use it next time my mil wants to talk up bm while in the same breath she says how much she hates her & she's just an opportunist...... but still having plans for lunch with her or something.. WTF with these mils?

frustratedinMA's picture

You are not being sensitive. Your MIL is being rude and calous by making those statements.

Your dh should absolutely be saying something to HIS mother. However, if he wont, and she continues, I would pull her aside and ask what gives? That she is hurting your feelings, and that she is being INSENSITIVE.

HUGS.