My B-son has been in the past a hard child to handle. However, when I married my current husband his S-dad, he (after a a few months of talking and discipline) seemed to straighten up. I told him how proud I was that he was taking responsibility for his actions and how his behavior, when good, has good results. He seemed to understand. He was happy and was doing better in school. This continued for 3 to 4 months. We made sure to continue to praise his efforts and when he slipped, let him know we all make mistakes and not to let one thing destroy what he had worked so hard for.
It is always this time of year that I feel Bad for My kids Bio-Dad. When we were together he withdrew from the family. When we split is when he started to try to connect with the boys. Now, he is the Chuck E Cheese Dad. (Think low budget Disnelyland Dad) The boys like going places with dad which is fine. What I see is that they are seeing what they can get. Bio-Dad doesn't take them home to just hang out. I am not even sure where he lives. When the boys spend the night, they stay with B-D neice. They always have take-out. Its always the arcade, the movies, laser-tag or a party.
For a while now I wondered why my husband did not stand up to my s-childrens mom. I finally see why. Apparently if he waits, he will get what he wants anyway.
For example. When he and I started dating, she wanted for me not to meet the children. He said fine. What ended up happening is she was to pick up the kids before our date and she was a few hours late. So, I met the kids.
I am happy to have found a site that I feel I can get support and/or a "been ther done that". I am Bio-Mom to 3 boys and Step-Mom to 3 boys and a little girl. My boys are ages 12,11,10,9,8,7 and my girl is 5. When I fist started dating my husband, he had all 4 of his children. Since then, my husband the the childrens Bio-Mom have 2 children living in each home. The boys do not like to be at their Bio-moms house. Recently she sent their Step-Dad to p/u my 7 s-son. he didn't want to go and my husband asked if he could just stay and skip the unscheduled visit.