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So so proud off my bios and the young men they've become

Chmmy's picture

Submitted by Chmmy on Tue, 12/04/2018 - 3:17pm

It seems we all have skids who are entitled, manipulative, spoiled brats. These kids are growing up in the me first, I'm so special, I deserve a trophy for nothing society...especially kids of divorce. Those are my skids.

My bios are kids of divorce and their dad passed away when they were 20 & 18. Somehow they have turned into such wonderful young men and I compare the skids to them all the time but get disappointed when they could never meet such high expectations. I hinestly think its too late for them. They learned their manipulative, lying behavior as children. Their brains are programmed.

My kids were never allowed to manipulate mom & dad so they didnt. We were a united front. When they acted like little assholes like kids do they got in trouble from both sides. They were grounded at home with me during the week, then dad would ground them at his house and add chores.

I was not the perfect parent nor were my kids perfect and my ex was an alcoholic but we did something right T (my deceased ex).

 

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Tue, 12/04/2018 - 5:54pm

My bios as well are grown, productive citizens...a far cry from Chef's ne'er do well spoiled failure to launch ferals.

Dovina's picture

Submitted by Dovina on Tue, 12/04/2018 - 5:57pm

That you did well. I often think skids were put in this world to appreciate our bios so much more!! Wink

Your children showed that being a COD does not limit you, or define you. Also your children lost their dad while they were such young adults, yet they worked through that to succeed as decent young adults. 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Tue, 12/04/2018 - 7:20pm

These skids do poorly because most of them have a crazy mother, not because their parents were divorced. Kids with crazy mothers don't do well in life. Crazy fathers are a problem, too, but crazy mothers really mess with a kid because they tend to enmesh the kids and make them dependent on them forever, all while calling it "love".

shamds's picture

Submitted by shamds on Wed, 12/05/2018 - 4:00am

In my husbands case his exwife was a narcissistic whore who manipulated everyone to her advantage, traumatised her 3 kids with hubby, tortured them, never nurtured them and thats absolutely f*#ked them for life. The 2 girls they’ve turned out ok as teenagers/adults because they have that nurturing responsible instincts but they still are blinded and manipulated by their mum without realising it because they’ve been kept dumb by their mum, i don’t know if they will outgrow it and it’s frustrating for hubby as he has alot of guilt as he knew before the wedding he shouldn’t marry the ex, the warning signs were there but his family guilted him and said it would get better after the wedding. Barely 1 week later she asked for a divorce (manipulative move, she never wanted it but used it as a threat to milk hubby for money), then 2 months later had a miscarriage at a normal hospital checkup for her pregnancy and had a d&c whilst hubby was at work and waited till hubby got home and said “i had a miscarriage” it was like being stabbed in the heart for hubby, he didn’t trust her but she knew how to take advantage of people...

20yr old ss was neglected as bm saw him as a useless burden and he’s lived a life seeing his mum treat people like shit and manipulating/guilting people to get her way

Cooooookies's picture

Submitted by Cooooookies on Wed, 12/05/2018 - 2:52am

Congratulations to you OP and your ex as it is a credit to you both as parents.

My exH and I divorced due to his alcoholism.  He is not active now and hasn't been for several years.  He's really done a 180 and is doing very well.  We co-parent DS18 together and he is turning out to be a wonderful young man.  Yes, he still has teen issues such as not wanting to clean his room and waiting until forever to do laundry...but he's a good person.

We divorced when DS was 10 and I moved from the US to the UK when he was 11.  So he has divorced parents and a BM who lives abroad and he has still succeeded.  It is always possible, it just takes two people who want to love the child more than they hate/dislike their ex-partner.  It is only the adult relationship that ended.  Children still need the support of both parents and be encouraged to openly love both as well.

It's really not that hard.