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Skids or no skids for mother's day?

Chmmy's picture

I hope you are having a skidless mothers day weekend!!!

The skids are home again this weekend. This time for Saturday dentist appts, baseball and a family birthday on Saturday but BM will be picking up late Saturday night so I can have a skidless mother's day ...i mean she can have her kids on mom's day.

My oldest BS24 was able to come in for the weekend so we are at my parents' house. Ill probably stay here with BS so I wont see the skids til tomorrow night. I guess they "wanted" to get me a present OR...DH said you guys should get Chmmy a gift.

Im just happy they are gone for Sunday. I get to see one of my bios. Both of my boys live out of town but my bios are my life's joy.

Are you having a skidless mothers day? Looking forward to mother's day? Dreading?

Comments

Cbarton12's picture

Skidless. CO orders SD to be with BM for mother's day as it should be. 

I love SD but I will never be her mother and I respect that.

Mothers day is neither here nor there for me. But I'll be spending time with my mom!!

sunshinex's picture

God damnit. I'm one of the unlucky few who have my skid. 

Don't get me wrong, she's an okay kid, but I wish I could have mother's day with my biological son alone. I can't help but feel like I'm missing out on a special day because SD is there with her "where are we going for breakfast?" and "what are we doing today?" just looking for ways to benefit from the day instead of focusing on me at all. 

sunshinex's picture

She lives 5 hours away and doesn't really give a crap. She sees her daughter for 2 months in the summer and MAYBE holidays if she doesn't have other plans. 

Chmmy's picture

Funny how she us an ok kid but you still want your time to yourself with YOUR kid.  People who say they love skids like their own either don't have kids or are lying.

sunshinex's picture

I totally agree. Honestly, she's fine and I do care about her. I've known her since she was 2 - much longer than I've had my 18-month-old son! But damn, he's my baby. She's not. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Skidless. No way in Hades that BioHo would allow her offspring to not worship her on "her" day.

SMto2's picture

I feel for all SMs on Mother's Day, especially those who have no bios of their own but are expected to act like a mother to their SKs when they visit. (and it my case, I act like a grandmother for SGDs.) I will receive no recognition whatsoever from my SKs for Mother's Day, nor will I ever. In part, I blame my DH, because in the early days when he and I first got together and SKids were 3 and 5, he did nothing to recognize me for Mother's Day. Even if he had, the Skids are so enmeshed with BM, I doubt they'd recognize me. That's ok. It just solidifies that I am NOT their mother, so I don't have to treat them like my bios. I have my own bios with DH, and once they arrived, DH made sure I was properly celebrated on Mother''s Day. Sad but true realitly of being a SM.

ndc's picture

It wil be a skidless mother's day for me!  It's BM's weekend in the ordinary course, and we would have let her have them on Sunday if it wasn't.  DH and I are going to visit my mother for the day.

LuluOnce's picture

Ugh. This will be my first Mother's Day in 7 years with skids and it's going to be awkward AF.

BM lost custody last August and currently has only a few hours a week visitation. Because she isn't getting CS right now, she had to get a job and works on Mother's Day this year. (Don't worry, it's only 20 hours a week. It's not like she's about to actually support herself or anything. Just needs enough to keep the #boozeandshoes coming in.) 

Anyway, since all this happened, my relationship with the SDs has been different. Like, our boundaries are changing and it's feels a bit strange. They have been openly more grateful and thoughtful to me at times, but also more resentful and stand-offish at other times. OSD13's therapist told us that "OSD is struggling to determine, if Lulu is essentially acting the way she [OSD] thinks a mother should act, and her own BM can't or won't do the same... she's asking herself what role her mom has in her life right now." So I know OSD is grappling with the loyalty issues big time right now and it makes me feel anxious and dread tomorrow.

I can tell that the SDs and I have some tension around this issue. I would've probably had a chat with everyone about it (our family tends to do better when we talk about our expectations for trips, holidays, etc.) but until yesterday, BM was supposed to have Mother's Day as her visitation but then at the last minute she asked to switch to today and DH said yes. So I didn't have a lot of time to really think about how this will play out.

I'm not trying to replace BM, but I want it acknowledged that I have stepped up in a way that makes their lives easier and more enjoyable since their mom dropped the ball and I know they know this to be true. So what does that look like? What's a non-threatening way to acknowledge my effort without making it seem like I'm trying to be "THE MOTHER!"? Should be interesting to see how it plays out. I'll probably be posting tomorrow. Hahaha. 

Stepmomains's picture

It's suppose be our weekend with SS, however, he has to back with BM at 9am. I am kinda of depressed because I do everything I can to make sure he feels loved and taken care of. He tries to stall going back home.  I know I must be doing something right for him to want to stay. It's just frustrating to know how manipulative and how unappreciate of me she is. Granted, I understand it's  Mother's Day but I would feel better about rushing him back if she actually showed she loved him and actually thanked me for loving and taking care of her son like he's my own.