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Over reacting again?

Chmmy's picture

I've complained about the little skids doing stupid things like SS12 sticking his tongue on a pole or other obnoxious things that make me say wtf. Sometimes other STalkers say I should lighten up boys will be boys. It gets on my nerves when they do stupid or obnoxious things because they're not my kids and they are here 26 days a month and I need peace. Even when they are not here the older skids usually are. So yes I probably over react or get overly annoyed by these skids that a rent  mine. Especially when they are things my most perfect children would have never done.

So SS11 threatened to pee on SS12 and SS12 said you wouldn't and then dared him to. So ss11 whipped it out in their carpeted bedroom and peed on SS12. This story was told at dinner(I never eat with the family, why I did last night I don't know). I gagged a little when I figured out they were not kidding. Their f'n room already smells like piss due to my almost 13 yr old SS still pisses the bed regularly. Is it ok for an 11 yr old to do this? What level of not ok is this?

Comments

Chmmy's picture

Yes they're feral

 Dh got pissy with him but no real consequences besides a good ol' talking to

Iamwoman's picture

The phrase "boys will be boys" only serves to perpetuate selfish, entitled behavior in half the population. Boys shouldn't get away with a-hole behavior anymore than girls.

All kids can be destructive, jerky, self-destructive, rude, hyper, lazy, etc at various points. All of this negative behavior should be addressed as it arises.

When boys hear "boys will be boys" all they really are hearing is "free pass."

When girls hear "boys will be boys" they really hear that boys are entitled to act like jerks while girls must be perfect.

And then we turn around and wonder why society has so many problems...

Id like to add that it is also seen here quite a bit in reference to husbands too "Men are just..." or "Men just don't understand... and that's just the way we accept as how it is."

This ALL really needs to stop, as it is one of the main crux of sooooo many problems many here have in their lives. Stop giving males a free pass on being selfish, insensitive, unreliable, obtuse, or whatever else it is that you hold yourself and males to a double standard on. 

Gimlet's picture

Amen, iamwoman!!

Chmmy's picture

All of the traits these entitled brats have as kids just turn into traits they have as entitled adults 

NotSoStepStepmom's picture

Nobody understands the struggle of living full time with an annoying SK except for other SMs who live full time with an annoying SK. Sad

That whole pee thing is really, really gross. On a scale of 1 to 10, the level of "not okay" would be a 50 for me. I thought I had it bad with SD getting pee droplets on the toilet seat and bathroom floor every day! I hope your SSs got in trouble for doing that. Ugh...

Skinvasion's picture

I have 11yo twins and a SS13.  If any of them had pulled this I would have lost my Sh!t.  They would be given a spray bottle and a scrub brush and made to scrub the whole damn room.  As for the oldest and his bed wetting, my oldest was also a bed wetter until about that age.  I hadto take him to the doctor and he was prescribed medicine for it.  It worked wonders.  Also try getting him a waterproof mattress pad so it doesn't seep into the mattress and smell up the room.  He honestly can't help it.  My son was so embarrassed and wouldn't go spend the night with any of his friends until he got it under control. 

Chmmy's picture

Yes he's very embarrassed. My bios had a roommate in college that peed the bed or sometimes the couch if he fell asleep. Sometimes he was drunk so they thought it was that but sometimes it just happened.  The kid was in his 20s.

Mandy45's picture

I know it not nice but I have to laugh. Some kids are just out there. Like my SD never pea all over the place but. My SD used to do annoying stupid things when she was younger. Like we where waiting for her to come out of school oneday. We where waiting and waiting we like where the hell is she. So my husband went to look for her. And she was in the play ground playing her recorder with her hat on the floor busking. Another time she had the principal chasing her because she just left with out permission. Then theres many more stories.  Maybe not let them pea everywhere it is dirty or if they do something dangerous they need to get into trouble. But you do need to lighten up a bit kids will be kids. They do stupid things some more than others. 

Chmmy's picture

I felt like this was a little more than the usual kids will  be kids. To intentionally pull out your penis and pee on someone is nasty. Some people have more or less tolerance for shit like that. 

Siemprematahari's picture

But you do need to lighten up a bit kids will be kids. They do stupid things some more than others. 

Mandy~ that behavior is unacceptable and if the father gives this a slap on the wrist it will be more of the same outlandish behavior. It's not ok for a kid to take his penis out and p!ss on another person. He would have major consequences for that and it wouldn't even be a conversation.

ntm's picture

It's not just disgusting, it's perverted. Change the scene to two girls and see how far you get with girls will be girls. I'm with call a moving truck. You can't change them and you can't change your DH, but you can change who you live with. 

tog redux's picture

If my SS had ever whipped it out and peed anywhere other than the bathroom at 11, there would have been hell to pay from DH.  SS was so well trained he never even left the toilet seat up.

Boys will be boys is not an excuse for ridiculous behavior.  But you know your DH doesn't actually parent his kids.

ITB2012's picture

Boys will be boys or Kids will be kids. Nope. It's used an excuse not to address the situation. DH has used it. Relatives have used it. When DH does I ask if his parents would have said that if  he and his brother did the same thing. I've ask my mom if she would have let my brother get away with the same thing. Unsurprisingly their answers were No. Then I make the point that the shortest part of their life is being a kid, if they don't start to learn what's okay and not okay to do now what kind of adult will they be for the majority of their lives? (It works most of the time to get DH to do something.)
 

Chmmy's picture

Dh did tell him never again he wants to hear a story like that but when the only consequence of your actions is dadddeeeee may express his disapproval they don't think before the act because they no most likely the worst that will happen is daddeeeee says no no no.

futurobrillante99's picture

So your DH didn't say "Never do that again"? He merely said he doesn't to HEAR a story like that again. It's like he's saying he doesn't care if they do it as long as he doesn't hear about it. :/

Chmmy's picture

No. He made it clear that that it is not ok to ever do it again but with the no consequence life we live here the kids don't care. What's the worst DH will do wag his finger at them and say I told you no no no!

tankh21's picture

That saying of "boy will be boys" is a load of crap. A lot of things don't register with this kids because they aren't taught what is appropriate and what isn't. My OSS used wipe poop on the wall and the light switch. I simply told my DH here's the cleaning supplies because I am not cleaning up after your feral kids either you can clean it or they can. He handed the cleaning supplies to both of the skids and they cleaned it. OSS did it a few more times after that so it was a wash, rinse repeat thing until the brat finally got the hint.

ESMOD's picture

This made me laugh.. my MIL literally told me a story about my DH and his brother doing this exact same thing..lol.  But, I think they were maybe 4 or 5 at the time.

If you watch things like Animal House.. and The Hangover.. you will see that there are some men/boys that have this very low brow "bathroom humor" type of thing going on.. 

I would be pissed (joke) that they did that on carpeted floor and they would both be on their knees with a scrub bucket and brush cleaning that carpet "to my liking".

Chmmy's picture

DH got in trouble for peeing down a slide on to another kid. I don't know what age. I told DH these kids are his karma for his antics as a child

Lollybobs's picture

That behaviour is way out of order. If any of mine had done that they would have been given cleaning supplies and made to scrub that carpet. Because no matter what they say, of course some went on the carpet.

But the room shouldn't smell of urine just because he wets the bed. If you use a care mat on top of the sheet, very little will get on the bed because the care mat soaks it up. If he wriggles, it needs to go under the bottom sheet but at least this can be stripped and washed in the morning and the mattress won't be affected.DS had this problem until he was 9. It came to a head when he had cub scout camp but didn't want to go because he worried about having an accident. We bought an alarm which woke him up as he started to wee (they sell them on Amazon but there are lots so we asked our doctor for a recommendation). We had baby monitors in his room and ours so that the alarm woke us up as well so we could make sure he woke up properly and went to the toilet.

It took precisely 9 days to cure the problem. I just wish we'd known about it sooner.

simifan's picture

 

I work with people with disabilities. If the room smells like pee it is not being cleaned properly.