Happy new year?
BM is so stupid. My husband makes 100,000+ per year. When he was married to BM he made 50,000- 60,000 in side jobs as well. Now that he has the kids full time he cant do side jobs. He never watched the finances. She spent every dime they had plus went into debt and she didnt pay the bills. They went in to foreclosure. After she did that he started watching the finances and controlling the money a little more and she divorced him. He gave her 40-50,000 in CS and she spent it all on herself then the kids had to ask him for clothes, shoes, coats, food, toilet paper and tampons for the oldest and BM often ask him for money for the rent. Of course he gave it to her "for the kids"...or because he cant say no to BM. She never saved a dime. How much money can someone spend? You would think she would have stashed some before she left him. He has the kids now for the past 3 years about 90% of the time. She's a shit mother and has a new husband who didnt want feral step children.
Anyway, I plan on leaving DuH eventually. I have money in savings hidden from him but not like I can retire at 46. I dont have free reign of th money like BM did but we dont share kids and I wouldn't do what BM did anyway. I wouldn't take what isnt mine. The savings I have is money from premarraige and money I make at work. I have him pay my bills, car insurance, phone etc.
My reason for staying, Im just too comfortable. Ive had some health problems and so have my adult kids. My oldest son, 25 had a car accident and 3 months off work and my youngest, 23 had some health problems that landed him in the hospital twice last summer. My husband's income allows me to work part time at a flexible job so ive been able to take care of my health worry free and visit with my kids when they weren't well. I also enjoy having my mornings free to work out and do things for myself while working afternoons when the skids are home from school I am gone. It works out well until holiday breaks and the dreaded summer come along.
What happened to my independence? I have to decide what is more important to me. I cant stand my husband many days but he also tries hard to make me happy much of the time. Im not miserable but I often wonder why am i still here. I dont know if Im looking for advice or just venting or whining.
Happy new year my stalker friends.
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Comments
Seems like it's time become
Seems like it's time become financially independent again.
I'm going to pose a couple b
I'm going to pose a couple b*tchy questions to you:
Would you appreciate your DH using you for anything the way you are using him for his money? If you found out he were doing that, would you want to remain married to him? Would you be willing to let him use you if he weren't sure he wanted to stay married but was dealing with the same health and family issues?
You're right that you need to make a decision, and make one that honors your character.
Thank you for saying that, I
Thank you for saying that, I didn't want to be too harsh. But it seems like you are staying, Chmmy, because with him you don't have to work as much, when meanwhile, you are planning an exit and don't like him or his kids much.
I also don't know what it would take for DH to agree to support me when I wasn't working full-time, but it would be a high bar. So maybe this is his way of keeping you stuck?
He asked me to leave my job.
He asked me to leave my job. I had no idea how unhappy I would be when I agreed to help him with his kids. He was having a terrible time and I felt horrible watching my best friend struggle.
He knows I have one foot out the door. I take any opportunity to "run away" as he calls it. His kids aren't likable and he doesn't even like sd17 anymore as many of her family members who once adored her no longer liked her.
I still help him a lot with the kids. Summer break, Christmas break, spring break and Thanksgiving week and the many institute days and mornings before school. A sitter would cost much more than having an extra person in the household. Im the least expensive person living there. I dont care about designer clothes and purses. I dont get my hair, nails, eyebrows etc done. I dont go out to eat hardly at all and my insurance is cheaper than dh or sd due to a clean driving record. Im a live in nanny and cleaning lady. DH gets the better end of the deal so I dont feel too bad