BMs Christmas present to the skids is a joke
The CO states that BM takes the kids every weekend plus 3 hours in the evening 6 times a month. Not that she exercises her rights lol. Anyway, she takes them approx every other weekend or on 2 weekends/off 2 weekends. The weekdays almost never unless she needs them for a family dinner where she shows her MOTY qualities. We're flexible in the sense that we take what we can get. We can't force visits on her.
Her Christmas present to SS13 & SS11 is tickets to the Bulls game on a Saturday....you guessed it her week but DH is supposed to take them. It's an hour drive and $25+ for parking, $100+ for food & drinks (no joke...DH & I split a meal there once and it was over 50). How is that a gift and why did DH get defensive when when I said she is unbelievable? Or as the Bulls used to say unBULLievable. Gosh Im so funny.
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Is he to drop them off or did
Is he to drop them off or did she get DH a ticket too? My guess is no ticket. I don't think I'd be comfortable with an 11 and 13 year old attending by themselves. I'd be tempted to sell the tickets and give the boys the money.
As to food, I'd tell them to be sure they ate before they left the house. There'd be a surprise bag lunch in the trunk for them to eat on the way home. Thirsty during the game. There are water fountains in the corridors. Or if the boys want food there, they can use their own money.
There is no way we would drop
There is no way we would drop them at the United Center in Chicago so she did get DH a ticket. Even BM wouldnt. They're not a mature 13 & 11.
As far as food and drink go they will have dinner, drinks(coke/pepsi) and probably a trip to the gift shop but that's on DH. I cant blame BM for his Disney Dad ways.
I was wrong.
Ticket. I was wrong. BM understands they can't go alone. It would have been better if she had asked about the exact date before she bought. It would have been better if she were taking them. But, you can't change that.
Disney Dad buying is on Dad. They could use the tickets for the cost of parking and gas.
I think you're being a little
I think you're being a little dramatic. Take public transportation instead of paying for parking, and no one is forcing you to buy food there.
Public transportation for an
Public transportation for an event an hour away?
Absolutely!
Absolutely!
I live in NYC. My first thought was why drive when you can hop on a train or bus. It will take longer, but it's a heck of a lot cheaper than driving.
That's not always an option
That's not always an option for those not in NYC.
How do you figure it's
How do you figure it's cheaper to take a bus than to drive an hour? I assume that includes the parking.
Where I live, I'd have to Uber/Lyft to the Trailways station (no public transportation out to my house and no parking at the station) which would be $20 both ways, at least, then pay for the bus, then take another bus or Uber/Lyft from wherever the Trailways left me (probably not at the stadium where the game is). It would easily cost at least double if not 3-4x more for me to NOT drive.
Not everyone lives in an area with good public transportation.
ETA: Chicago's is likely better but they are clearly coming from outside the city.
There isn't much in the way
There isn't much in the way of public transportation to get there and for 3 people it would cost more than the parking. I could drive DH to a train but it would be a Metra train x 3 tix to the el train x 3 tix and then a walk in one of the worst Chicago neighborhoods. My mom & dad had a baseball bat pulled on them when they parked on the street to save money, they almost got robbed til my dad pulled out his gun. He was a Chicago cop at the time, but my poor mom never wanted to go back.
Public transportation is
Public transportation is cheaper than driving. It's common for folks attending events here at the Barclay Center, US Open... from NJ, Long Island or Connecticut to use public transportation instead of driving in. So suggestion above to take public transportation isn't that odd.
We live in the Chicago area.
We live in the Chicago area. Not New York.
For you, it's not odd. But
For you, it's not odd. But obviously it is odd for others. You've lived outside of NYC, you must know it's not the same everywhere.
Yup, I lived in Raleigh, NC
Yup, I lived in Raleigh, NC and used public transportation all the time.
Other than the New York New
Other than the New York New Jersey area there aren't many other places in the US that have decent public transportation and clearly the OP isn't in that area.
He may have gotten defensive
He may have gotten defensive against your little huff n puff because he really was thinking a night out with just his sons doing something he too would enjoy and have fun was a good idea.
Games are like two-ish hours. Nobody needs to be eating $100 in food/drinks. .As mentioned by someone above, feed them on the way and after the game. When I was their age, Mom would pack and take coolers.
I agree, except, what about
I agree, except, what about his ticket? They aren't general admission, I assume, so does he sit away from them? I do agree about the food, seriously - who buys food and drinks at any event? Nope.
Never mind, she did get him a ticket. In that case OP, I think it's a great gift, I don't get the objection. He doesn't have to buy them any food.
But he will buy them food and
But he will buy them food and yes thats on DH, not her. It was presumptuous of her to assume we had no plans. And where is my ticket. I wouldnt buy Dh a ticket to go somewhere without asking and Im his wife
Oh. I'd be happy to have the
Oh. I'd be happy to have the house to myself. That wouldn't bother me a bit not to get a ticket. I didn't think about you having plans, yes, she should have checked with DH on that.
You actively dislike skids
You actively dislike skids and in fact post about contemplating leaving all together because of how bad your skids are. Why do you want to hang out with them?
I don't. I want BM to take
I don't. I want BM to take them for the weekend not buy them tickets to go somewhere with my husband for the night. She should take them Friday like she is supposed to, take them to the game and bring them back Sunday, like she is supposed to.
But clearly your DH is ok
But clearly your DH is ok with all this or he’d not take them. You wanted to go somewhere just with your DZh but he didn’t or he’d not take kids to a game and wouldn’t agree with BM to take them.
So there is nothing you can do. Kids will be out of the house, that’s what you wanted. Your DH will be out if the house too but he could stay with you if he wanted or buy you a ticket etc He doesn’t care. Easy to blame BM but DH is ok with all that and you are married to him, not BM
and he clearly knew ahead of time about these tickets. So he is the one to blame
why can’t he hire a babysitter and take you out? If you want time with your DH you do what everyone else does. Get a babysitter
I completely see this as
I completely see this as controlling on her part. I'm not sure why others don't see it as a big deal.
Unless she cleared it with him first she should never have bought this for the boys. I would be irritated with my own family if they bought something for my daughter that required travel, using it on a specific date, and spending additional money.
If she would have asked we
If she would have asked we would have said yes most likely and maybe even forked over the money to get me a ticket. It was presumptuous and rude of her to assume we had no plans and to exclude me(although i dont want to go and Im glad to have the night to myself). Its the principle that dh is my husband not hers. BM doesn't do anything without her husband. When BMs sister bought her tickets for the Blackhawks she took 2 of her kids and her husband even though SD20 protested that it wasn't fair that Aunt Ds gift to the family goes to BMs husband and not SD. Maybe Aunt D should have bought more tix but she knew SD17 wouldnt go so she got tix for her sister and 3 kids and BM ditched the oldest kid for her husband.
I think BM should have asked
I think BM should have asked DH first to make sure he didn't have plans, but I don't see the rest as an issue. The gift was for the kids not for the family. It really is okay for DH to do things with his sons without you.
Also, it appears DH is fine with it.
I encourage DH to do things
I encourage DH to do things with his kids without me. Its a great gift if the asshole BM was taking the kids to a game.
My parents bought us for white sox tickets for SS11s birthday. My dad got the tix & parking for free and gave him cash to buy treats. Great gift cuz he asked us when we wanted to go and SS almost peed his pants with excitement because he likes the Sox. Bulls tix are dirt cheap...they suck so bad you can get Stub Hub tix for a fraction of face value. Parking and food will cost more than the tix.
I do see some of your
I do see some of your concerns about it, I really do - but I think you are reading too much into BM's intentions.
Are you sure the tickets
Are you sure the tickets arent fake?
That would be a tragedy
That would be a tragedy because DH would go to the box office and pay full price. Im sure bm3went on stubhub or clicktix and got something for a fraction of the price. I dont think she is evil enough to give her kids fake fuk'n tickets. I mean,would she?
When we go to Chicago, we
When we go to Chicago, we drive to the north side, park, and take the L.
Ive parked near Sox park red
Ive parked near Sox park red line station and taken the el into the city but not the United Center.