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teachers on strike UGH

Chijayray's picture

so that means classes are canceled and SS15 is stuck at home all day with me and the baby. I COULD SCREAM. I'm a stay at home mom and I can't stand my SS. his dad has full custody and I wish this kid would just go live with his dead beat mom. 
 

the house is so CLEAN and PEACEFUL and QUIET while SS15 is gone. the vibes are so good when he's at school. And this is my time away from him to relax and be able to nap peacefully with the baby. 
 

so i understand the teachers have got to go on strike to get what they deserve but damn!!! i really don't want this kid home all day, I'm gonna go crazy. Just last weekend I was crying and telling my fiancé that I was gonna move out because of his son and he didn't take me seriously. Just tried to kiss me and make me feel better. But I swear if I actually had someone else to stay with I would not be here!!! 

Comments

lieutenant_dad's picture

So what does SS15 do that irritates you? I have teen SSs and they spend 85% of their time in their rooms.

ETA: Saw your other post. You have a SO problem who is a weak parent to his son and will likely be a weak parent to your mutual child. If you truly cannot stand living there while SS is there, I highly recommend finding a job and saving up money so you can get your own place. If your SO is allowing him to illegally use drugs in your hone around his infant child, then your SO is never going to fix the mess he created.

tog redux's picture

No offense, but why are you planning to marry this craptastic parent? He's letting his son walk all over you and do whatever he wants in your home.

Call someone to put up a door on your "bedroom" yourself so you can have some privacy.  Don't wait for him to do it.

Siemprematahari's picture

Does your fiancee think kissing  your tears away will remedy the situation? This is the problem he dismisses your feelings and yet here you are stuck with his unruly 15 year old son. When is he going to parent his son or does he expect you to do that too?

Chijayray's picture

you are so right, he likes to brush things under the rug and not address it. but I'm already planning to leave if he doesn't get it together right away!!

ndc's picture

What is your personal financial situation? Do you work or are you reliant on BF for support? Do you have family in the area? I personally could not maintain a relationship with a man who is as crappy a parent as your boyfriend, nor could I tolerate living with an unrelated 15 year old boy without having a real bedroom with a real door. That would be the case even if he was well behaved and understood boundaries.

Start getting your ducks in a row. This won't end well.

ESMOD's picture

I would drive him to the mall.. give him 20 bucks and tell him I will be back to pick him up at 4:30.

SteppedOut's picture

Girl, do you live in Tennessee? I swear you are engaged to my formerSO and are dealing with his lothesome kid. Your saga is so similar to what I dealt with... formerSO kid would be 15 now...

Disneyfan's picture

I get that the boy is a pain in the ass, but what makes his father so appealing? Other than his ability  to create kids, what is the attraction?

He has a family of four living in a one bedroom home.  Your "bedroom" is the actual livingroom. 

There's something wrong with a man that would subject his family to this.  

  Truth be told, there's something wrong with a woman that would accept those living conditions. 

I can't imagine living like this ON PURPOSE. 

How do you manage  late night or early morning  intimacy without worrying about the 15 year old walking into the livingroom???

NotThatTypical's picture

 My SO has two kids. One is 10, the other 7. If I didn’t want anything to do with them they are well beyond old enough to entertain and care for themselves while he is away. Of course I need to be there for over all safety but a 15 year old? By then they should be able to stay alone for extended periods of time. Basically what I’m saying is somewhere someone failed if it’s such an interruption in your life for him to be home.  

What does he do that’s so problematic? You said it’s clean peaceful and quiet? Send him to his room to amuse himself. There quiet / peaceful unless he’s a monster who needs discipline. Clean? He’s 15 he can clean up after himself. If he refuses to dad can do it for him.

Really though I think you need to consider this relationship? I mean I know teens are tough but is this normal stuff that you need to accept or is dad a really bad parent who doesn’t support you?

Winterglow's picture

I suggest you read her other post. She gives a lot of information on why she doesn't like being around him ... and I can't say I blame her.

AlmostGone83's picture

I will say this in response to the above nonsense. I was a former NY public school teacher. I made 42k a year. I quit after two years. I had three science certifications and six years of college sunk into this career. It was the worst job ever. If they had paid me 120k, I still would have quit. 

It was not the pay that drove me from the profession; New York is near the top of the list for teacher salaries. It was the stress. The stress of endless paperwork, meetings, long nights spent grading or preparing lesson plans, budget woes, an unsupportive administration (I really could write a book on this point alone), disruptive and occasionally violent students, nightmare parents, and a tyrant of a school principal. I became depressed and began to suffer from anxiety.

I am SO glad I left. You get what you pay for. There are major teacher shortages across the country. Positions are being filled with substitutes, people who do not have teaching degrees or any experience in the classroom, and some school have even been forced to recruit from other countries. Simple economics tells you that if you can’t find qualified people willing to do the job, you either pay them more or lower your expectations.

 

tog redux's picture

Yes, exactly. There is a reason there is a teacher shortage. If it were such a cushy high paid job, everyone would be clamoring to do it.

I work with children in the mental health field, and I love kids - but there is no way on earth I could manage 25 of them all day long.

AlmostGone83's picture

Well that only means that a lot of people are underpaid in those jobs. If you can’t find anyone qualified to do the job for the pay then you either have to find less qualified people or offer more money. 

As far as the charter schools/private schools go, do you know what they pay? It’s even lower than public schools and does not offer many of the perks you get. For us recent graduates thosr jobs were the “stepping stone” jobs we took on our way to the more lucrative public school jobs. You think anyone is going to want to go into teaching for six years or even four for those positions and assuming they do, do you think anyone will stay? You can build as many charter schools as you want and staff them with the most under qualified “teachers” you can find if that is what you think is best for our country, but like I said, you’re not going to get someone with six or four years of teaching college. You can’t even keep them at what they are being paid now.

STaround's picture

And more and more immigration. They dont care if private sector workers get screwed.   Unless public schools show better performance, what is their higher pay getting in terms of results.  

AlmostGone83's picture

How are private sector workers getting “screwed” by teachers? Because they are demanding more money for their jobs through the unions? Do you think you are not paid enough as a private sector employee and are resentful that they are able to bargain for more money? Then why don’t you demand more money for your job? Because you don’t have a union. That sucks for you but is great for your employer. The money they save by not paying you goes into their pockets and if you complain, they will just find someone else to do your job. My point is that this country needs more unions, not less. The only ones making out are the people at the top and they’ve got it pretty good while the rest of us squabble and fight each other over who had more pennies. Don’t begrudge someone else a decent wage for their job just because you don’t have one instead we should all consider supporting measures that lead to higher wages for the average American (something other progressive countries alike Australia and the UK have us beat at) and address income inequality in America.

STaround's picture

Unions cannot solve the problem when there are more employees flooding the market.   H-1Bs, Dems want more.  They are NOT the brightest and the best for the most part, they are just willing to work for less.  

 

Karl Marx wrote about how the army of the unemployed would drive down wages.  He was right.

tog redux's picture

You're kidding right? Do you have any idea what the qualifications are for an H1B visa and how hard they are to get?  Are you imagining people who can't speak English with 8th grade educations are being given H1Bs to teach?

The people who get H1B visas (usually for the private sector) ARE the best and brightest, from countries that actually value education.

Typical erroneous anti-immigration argument.

STaround's picture

although it can be AA degree and one year after that.  Very, very few are grads of top colleges.    No, i dont think H-1Bs are teaching, they are doing comuter and accounting work for the most part.   Maybe you might want to read about how Disney replaced their in house computer staff with cheaper people from India, and you might be more considerate of American workers.  

 

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/trump-h-1b_b_5890d86ce4b0522c7d3d84af

tog redux's picture

Wrong, they need at least a bachelor's degree. And are you aware that only around 25% of Americans have Bachelor's Degrees?

Of course there is abuse of it, rich people abuse the system (hello Mr. President) just as everyone accuses poor people of doing. But in general, the Americans are not lining up to take jobs that require degrees because our educational system is worse than many other countries.

tog redux's picture

Look it up. Charter schools do no better, overall. Some are successful, some are not. A lot of it has to do with the students' home lives and how well they are prepared to learn. And Charter schools in poor districts lack funding, too.

STaround's picture

Apparently with lower teacher salaries.   So why should teachers get paid more

tog redux's picture

Then maybe ALL teachers should get paid more. What's the point of a charter school if it does no better? Obviously there is some other issue at play here.

But I know I won't change your right-wing mind. So have a good day.

Disneyfan's picture

Charter schools are not TESTING the same students that public schools test. Sure, they may admit ALL students.  BUT, it almost comical the number of students(ALL LEVEL 1S AND 2S)that return to public schools just before state testing begins.

 

There  are a TON of char schools in my district.