That girl depresses me
Three weekends without her or, as I've specified to my husband, without her bad behavior and life was good, cheery, intimate, optimistic, energetic, full of love and promise.
One weekend with her back and now I've got the blues, big time.
Going on 2 years now of being treated like a leper in my own home. It wears down the soul. It makes me obsessive, constantly trying to figure out how to make this work, how to find the magic formula to fix this. Imagining things I would say to her, actions I would take. Rarely being able to follow through because of all the limitations on me in regards to her.
My husband has done a wonderful job of adapting, making changes in his parenting because he respects my opinion and cares how I feel but the pace is glacial. And that girl has endless reserves of mean. There, I said it. She's mean, mean, mean, mean, mean.
She's fifteen now and as her brain grows she develops ever more subtle ways of showing contempt and hatred to get around the rules that have been imposed on her brick by brick over the last two years. These actions are plain as day to me, a woman, but often inscrutable to her father who is handicapped both by being her parent and by being a man.
How can a person have so much mean in them? I've just never met someone with her kind of personality and character. Shameless. That wonderful Spanish word, sinverguenza .
Got a spectacularly vacant and bankrupt apology from her when my sweetheart intervened. How can a person who will be turned loose on the world in 3 short years be so devoid of sensibility? Doesn't care, doesn't care, doesn't care.