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Hit again

Cecilia's picture

Those of you who read my blog won't be surprised that it happened again. Yesterday my eldest ss hit me in the face. My family were in the car on our way back from a little weekend trip when my husbands ex texted him and had the nerve to ask for 60 dollars. That woman makes more money than we do and she does nothing to help support her children. I said"She makes more money than we do and only has herself to support." It was a simple statement and was said in a nonjudgmental tone. My ss got angry and reached around from the back seat and punched me in the face. A few days ago he was throwing furniture for no reason. My husband talked to him and told him thay a real man does not hit women and told him that if his grandfathet were still alive he would get a belt across his backside. Typically my husband does nothing but talk. I warned my husband that if that boy touches me again I will have him arrested. Unlike my husband I do not make empty threats. I am afraid of my ss but I can't let me drive me out of my own home.

Comments

ESMOD's picture

Violence should not be tolerated and I don't blame you for calling the police if you are physically injured again.

However, I am not excusing the violence, but you and your DH should not be discussing these things in front of the kids. period.

I know it is tempting to do so and even to want the kids to understand "your side"... but just don't do it. Hold this conversation until you and SO are alone.

Stepped in what momma's picture

Why does your DH threaten a child with an belt whipping from a dead person? Why doesn't your DH handle his child?
Anyone punches me in the face and I am not waiting on SO to save them from me calling the cops on them. If you're afraid that SS is going to make you leave why isn't your DH afraid that SS is going to make you leave? Seems to me that your DH is not fully invested in your marriage, if one of my steps punched me in the face my SO would tear the world apart.

advice.only2's picture

SS is 17....and your DH is okay with him punching his wife in the face? I think there is a dynamic here that we probably aren't going to be able to help you with.

ESMOD's picture

Definitely. Big difference between a 17 yo almost man and a small child. Very young kids may hit when frustrated because they can't express themselves properly. 17 yo is too old for this crap.

Steppedonnomore's picture

I went back and read your past blogs. Have you ever thought that if your younger SS is ever hit by his brother and someone calls CPS that both you and your husband may be charged with neglect for allowing the violence to continue in your home? If you won't do anything about this for yourself, please think of your younger SS. Call an abuse hotline. Call the police.

sunshinex's picture

What the hell... I'd be so out of this marriage lol your husband needs to step up and handle this. At 17 years old, this kid can and should be kicked out on the street for hitting his stepmom, let alone ANY woman in his life. Where the hell did he learn this behaviour? Are you sure your husband isn't/hasn't been violent in front of him? Why would he think this is acceptable? This is a strange scenario...

thisisnotmocking's picture

So. A 17yo man punched you in the face. In front of people. In front of your husband.

And you all just ride home together.

If gpa was alive he'd get a belt.

But since gpa's dead... maybe next time somebody will do something.

What??!!

In my world a REAL MAN doesn't watch a lil beeyotch punch his wife in the face and do nothing.

Mamaoftwoboys's picture

Um....just...what? You cannot let someone hit you. This kid should not have hit you the first time, did anyone do anything the first time he did? I just don't even have words for this situation.

FrenchPeas's picture

It takes seven incidents for an abused woman to leave. Only four more to go! Hope it doesn't get too bad!!!

Why won't you leave and protect yourself?

mommadukes2015's picture

My mom smacked my gram once. When I was really little but I remember it. My gram beat the crap out of her after that.

Sometimes, I think the old-timers had it right.

Call the police, defend yourself. Don't put up with that BS.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

In June you said you husband told you he didn't love you anymore. I would say this is one more example of the truth of that statement. You need to get out before older SS really hurts or kills you.

Indigo's picture

Sweetie, back in July, my advice was:
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1-800-799-SAFE(7233)
Submitted by Indigo on Wed, 07/19/2017 - 5:46pm.

1-800-799-SAFE(7233) Domestic abuse hotline, nationwide, 24/7.

Stop the excuses and the "yeah, but's ..." Reach out for help "IN REAL LIFE," not a bunch of strangers on the internet.

Your 'man' admits he doesn't love you and wants you gone ... violence against you is tolerated and you permit it. No one calls the cops or gets a restraining order.

WTF. What drugs are you on that numbs you out to this level of helplessness?
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Looks as if you have done nothing to change anything in your home. DH told you 7 months ago that he doesn't love you, doesn't wish to be married. Even after your 10 years of fantasy family, DH does not feel the same way. DH admitted then that he will never protect you or correct his SS. No calls to the cops. No TRO's. I thought asking you "WTF" was too rough in my earlier post and had a brief moment of regret. Now, I'm thinking that I was not clear enough.

Could you please email someone a link to these blogs in case you disappear some day. There is help out there IRL and there are many people who would reach out to you, if you held out your hand.