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OT- Terrible Dates

CBCharlotte's picture

My last blog about dating/chivalry (which apparently everyone has strong feelings about oops!)got me thinking about bad dates. It is Friday and I could use a laugh. Can anyone tell me a "bad date" story? Here is mine:

I was 21 and just graduated college. I had a good job and a cool apartment by myself in Philadelphia. I had just gotten out of a 2 year relationship with someone I thought I was going to marry.I had been out with friends and had some drinks (too many drinks) and met a guy. The details were hazy but I remember he was cute and that was it. We had made plans to meet a few days later for drinks near my place.

Off that bat the was running about an hour late. Traffic was killer and he was coming in from the suburbs, so I wasn't too bothered. We met on the corner and walked to the local bar and decided to sit outside. As we were waiting to be shown to our table, two guys sitting at a table told me I looked really pretty in the dress I was wearing. I said thank you and the hostess showed us to our table.

My date was very angry. He demanded to know who the guys were, and wasn't happy when I explained I had no idea, they were just being complimentary. I am very social so I managed to calm him down with some small talk. I find out he is 39 (older than he looks and than I thought). I asked about his job. He said "I used to work for DOW Chemical" and talked for a while about what he used to do with color matching etc.

I said "Oh, you said used to, what do you do now?" He then told me he quit due to depression. Erm, ok. Hey, I give him props for being open about his mental health issues though. He said "I can't work because it takes a while to see what medicine works. Sometimes you're on it a month or more then have to switch, and finding the right doctors". This is hard for me to stomach, as I am very independent and hard working, but I'm trying to be understand. I asked what he did for fun. "Well, sometimes I go to the BMX park and ride my bike". Oh dear. This is a 40 year old man who doesn't work and who has a teenage hobby.

I change the subject again and talk about how I just got my own apartment after living with my best friend during college. I ask about his living situation; "Do you live with roomates?" "No" "Oh yea, I love living alone, it's nice to have the freedom"

"Oh, no, I live with my parents". I try to keep a smile on but this is not getting any better. 40 years old, no job, mental health issues, lives with his parents. We chatted some more and by the end of the date, I had two glasses of wine, and he had two vodka-somethings. Our waitress never came back so we went inside to close our tab at the bar. The total came to $23. I waited for him to pay, and he turned to me and said "Will you be paying cash or credit". I stammered for a second and pulled out some cash. Then he said "Well, your wine was more expensive, so you should pay $13 and I'll pay $10."

I smiled and paid my bill and we started walking back to my apartment. We were about halfway there when he stopped and said "Oh, I'm parked right here". He didn't even walk me back to my door a half a block away! BYE. I wished him goodbye and continued on home, and called my friend about this disaster. He emailed me later that night gushing about what a great time he had and how we have SOOOO much in common and he wants to see me again. DELETE.

I have a few more bad ones, including a guy who wanted to be a professional roller blader and cried in the middle of our date, but I want to hear some of yours.

Comments

notsobad's picture

Oh my, this is one of my worst ever dates but boy did I learn a lesson or two.

I was 17 and working at a garage, one of the mechanics asked me out. He took me to the local strip bar. I was underage and trying to act cool and not shocked, you know an independent open minded 80s woman. We sat somewhere in the middle and he ordered rye and cokes, doubles. I choked it down and was feeling drunk when he started rubbing my back and saying we should go back to his place.

I said not a chance and did he think that bringing me to a strip bar would make me want to sleep with him???

He said he was sorry and would take me home. He just had to go to the washroom and we'd leave.

Guess who never came back from the washroom? Yep, he left me in a strip bar with a tab for the drinks. I had no money and felt like a total fool, which of course I was!
The waitress realized what had happened and took pity on me. She took me to the bathroom, where I promptly burst into tears, so much for that independent 80s woman. She didn't make me pay for the drinks and gave me cab fare home.

The mechanic never came back to the shop and asked for his last cheque to be sent to an address in another province. I went back 2 weeks later and paid the waitress back for the cab fare, she wouldn't take money for the drinks.
I never ever went out on another date without enough money to get myself home and I never again pretended to be okay with a place just so that my date would be comfortable. Lesson learned.

notsobad's picture

Yes, she was shocked that I showed up. It was humiliating to walk back in there.
I had to wait the 2 weeks to get paid, no way I was telling my Mom what had happened.

In fact I don't think I've ever told anyone but DH about that night.
I've told my kids and skids that it's important to always have a $20 stashed for an emergency but I've never said how I know it's important.

I've had a few experiences when I've been glad that it happened. Life lessons aren't easy when you are learning them but that's what it's all about. Learning, getting experiences and doing better next time.

notsobad's picture

Yes, when it happened it was humiliating.

I haven't even thought about it in years, until I read this thread and boom there it was! Thankfully, time give us a perspective that youth doesn't.

CBCharlotte's picture

Before I lived on my own (see above story) I lived with my friend in this weird apartment building in Philly. The center was hollow and had a courtyard, where lots of the residents would hang out. I was playing cards with some people one Friday night, and was sitting across from a guy in a hat. We barely spoke. Sunday night around midnight there was POUNDING on my door. I jumped out of bed and ran to the door, thinking there was an emergency. It was poker guy. He said "I can't stop thinking about you since Friday. I would like to take you out this week" I was half asleep and so confused, I just said "yea yea ok here's my number" and shut the door.

We made plans to go to a Mexican place that Wednesday that was BYOB (Philly has a ton of BYOB restaurants, it is great). If you bring your own tequila, they make tableside margaritas. I was interning for a large actuarial consulting firm at the time and would be coming straight from work. He called and said he was running late and asked if I could pick up the tequila, which I did.

When I got to the restaurant I was in shock. I was in a Calvin Klein work dress and heels. He showed up in a ratty white T-shirt with stains on it, baggy jeans and a wallet chain. OH and his hair was down a little past his shoulders. I guess he had it all up in the hat when I met him. NOT MY TYPE AT ALL. I am a business woman and like a clean cut man! Strike 1. Whatever, dinner time.

He is nice enough, but I am not feeling it at all. We start talking about jobs and careers. I was studying to be an actuary and told him about that. He worked around the apartment building doing maintenance jobs and painting for rent money, but also filmed concerts. You know when you go to a concert and they have video of the performer on the stage behind them? That's what he did, which was pretty cool.

However, he told me this was not his dream job. No, his dream job, he proudly informed me, was that he wanted to be a PROFESSIONAL ROLLER BLADER. I laughed, thinking he was joking. He was not. He then went on to told me about all the "sick sponsorships" and X-games he wanted to do, and how he practiced in the building parking lot. This made me realize I had seen some kid attempting to roller blade in the parking lot, jumping on rails and stuff. It was this tool. Mind you, this guy was at least 21. STrike 2.

Then he proceeded to tell me how he likes to smoke a lot of weed. OK fine, I would partake from time to time. HOWEVER he said one of the guys in our building was a big dealer and he was in the apartment when the DEA busted the door down! He escaped through the back part of the building and ran away, and he wasn't a part of the dealing, but could be wanted. Strike 3.

Finally, we were talking about family and he started BAWLING. Like crying harder than I've seen a man cry. Both of his parents died when he was a around 12 and he moved in with his grandparents, who didn't really want him. It was very sad, and I felt so bad for him, but really not first date material if you are going to get too worked up. It was very uncomfortable. I tried to console him while everyone in the restaurant stared. He did pay the bill (which was less than the tequila) and we walked back to the apartment building a few blocks away.

I think he wanted to hang out more, but I gave him a quick one armed hug and said "K Bye thanks for dinner" and ran upstairs. He kept asking me out but I told him I met someone else and was dating, which was semi-true.

The new guy turned out to be a HUGE cheating douche, so maybe I would have been better off with the professional roller blader!

notsobad's picture

I made a guy cry once, also in a Mexican restaurant, LOL

We'd been dating for a month or two. I wasn't really sure if I liked him or not. He had so many good qualities. He was cute, we could talk and he made me laugh but there was something that just wasn't clicking. I couldn't put my finger on it, my friends all liked him and thought I should give him a chance and not be too picky.

Then I slept with him and knew it was never going to work. There was no spark at all, it wasn't horrible but it wasn't satisfying. Honestly, I'd had better orgasms alone if you know what I mean Wink }:)

So we went to this Mexican salsa dance place. I didn't want to go out and actually tried to break up with him over the phone (I'm a coward I know)
There we are having guacamole, drinking margaritas, people dancing and laughing and having fun. He's saying this is awesome, we should take a trip to Mexico. We should take lots of trips and travel the world together!
And I guess my face said it all because he looked at me and said you're going to break up with me aren't you?
I just nodded and he burst into tears. Then he started saying how this always happens to him, he moves too fast and scares women off and he really really felt like we had something and he thought I felt the same. And how could I lead him on like that? And blubber, blubber, blubber. I stopped listening to what he was saying and was honestly just looking for a way to leave.
People were looking and the waiter was giving me dirty looks, it was embarrassing.

I admit I thought about patting him on the back and walking out but I stayed and made some there, there noises. Told him it will be okay, it's not him, it's me. I wasn't ready for a relationship yet (I'd been single for over 2 years at that point but I didn't know what else to say).

We left and he offered to drive me home. There was a cab right there and I said no it would be best if we just go our separate ways.

He called and called thanks to call display I never answered and in the end he went away.

That date taught me to listen to myself and if I'm not feeling it don't continue and think things might change. It just hurts people to lead them on.