50th bday party a success, 3 day break from MIL!
As some of you may remember, SO's 50th bday dinner was a minor disaster....BM1 came and acted all weird. Saw BM the next day for pickup and kept my distance. Meanwhile, my mother also flew in Thursday night for SO's 50th bday party. She stayed at a hotel since we had Future MIL, SD14 and SD11 all staying with us. My mom, thank god, is great. Mostly normal/rational, positive, helpful.....I was very happy to have her there.
Future MIL and I are getting along. She is English (visiting from 2 a town 2 hours outside of London) so she is a bit stiff and not very warm. And MY GOD is she a complainer. The only way she knows how to make conversation is complaints. Complaints about people in England I don't even know. The weather. The dogs. Her grandkids, EVERYTHING! I just smile and nod or make some noncommittal sympathetic remark (that must be hard). The good news is she hates BM2 as much as I do. She loves BM1 though (the one who was all awkward at SO's birthday dinner). She's warmed up to me a lot....we went shopping and have spent a lot of time together, as I work from home (where she's been all day) and SO goes into an office downtown.
I've been a bit stressed getting everything ready for the 50th birthday party we had on Saturday. I'm a bit of a perfectionist host, so I was cooking everything myself except the big cake (love you Whole Foods bakery!). My mom came over Friday morning to spend some time, and even took MIL out for a few hours. Keep in mind, my mom and MIL have never met, my mom is very social though and can get along with anyone! I was also working while cooking and shopping so needless to say pretty stressed. I made SO go pick up the kids after work, I did not have time for that!
Saturday, day of the party, I took MIL, my mom, and myself for shampoos and blowouts at the salon, my treat. I needed a break and wanted to treat the moms. Then we went home and finished the cooking. SD11 was a huge help, she loves to bake. We made this awesome british flag cookie cake (SO is from England: http://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/union-jack-fruit-pizza/bdabbb3c-792d...). SO and SD14 were at ballet practice all day, and SO picked up all the beer, wine, and liquor for the party.
Thankfully everything went smoothly. I did enough prep that I wasn't stressed at all, and everyone had a great time! There was about 30 people who came, half my friends, and half his friends/coworkers. I didn't know if anyone on his end was going to show up, so I was very glad he had some friends there! SO isn't very social, whereas I'm a social butterfly. Therefore he has 0 friends.
It is actually sad....he doesn't have a single friend he can call to "hang out". Is anyone else's SO like this? A lot of the problem is we live in the semi-south (NC) and SO is from another country and feels like he doesn't "fit in" here. He works for a legacy bank as a high level executive (reports to C-suite) so everyone he knows from work basically works for him. He says it is hard to make true real friendships with people when you're their boss, which I understand.
I work from home and I've met all my friends via meetup. I even run a meetup group for "girls night out" type of stuff....mostly for women who move here and don't know anyone. Therefore I have tons of friends from all walks of life, and almost none of them are from NC.
But I digress....Party went great, everyone had a wonderful time, everyone loved the food, the moms, and the skids. SD14 and SD11 are great, mature, polite kids who can hold a conversation with any adult. They sort-of helped clean up before they went to bed (to be fair, party ended after 10 and they were wiped from the long day!)
On Sunday, SO, me, the skids and the moms went to the National Whitewater Center and went ziplining and played with the dogs and had lunch. SO took skids and MIL to BM1's house, and I took my mom to our house. Then me, SO, and my mom went for a walk and to dinner before we took my mom to the airport.
MIL is now staying at BM1's until late Wednesday night, when we pick her back up again. Then we fly to Austin on Thursday morning for the Formula One race and to see SS5 and SS4. THANK GOD SO finally agreed to get MIL her own hotel room....sharing with SO, me, SSs would be way too much! Should be interesting to see how she handles the heat AND toddler! Should be a long weekend....
At least I have peace and quiet at the house for the next 2.5 days!
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Comments
That's great! I had signed us
That's great! I had signed us up for a British Ex-Pats meetup group, but it shut down
I also head up the Chelsea FC fan club in our city, so he is friendly with people there, but doesn't seem to make an effort to "hang out" outside the games. I would LOVE for him to join a pick up soccer league or something!
My SO has the same issues, he
My SO has the same issues, he runs a manufacturing plant. No one from work can he hang with outside of work. He has one or two friends and that is about it. His issue has always been that they move away. He plays racquetball two days a week with one of them and we sometimes go out with that guy and his wife. I have a few friends myself and they are all wrapped around golf and that works for me.
Not everyone is that social. For me and DH, we mostly just like being with each other and don't mingle our own friends with that.
"It is actually sad....he
"It is actually sad....he doesn't have a single friend he can call to "hang out". Is anyone else's SO like this? A lot of the problem is we live in the semi-south (NC) and SO is from another country and feels like he doesn't "fit in" here.
I've met all my friends via meetup. I even run a meetup group for "girls night out" type of stuff....mostly for women who move here and don't know anyone. Therefore I have tons of friends from all walks of life, and almost none of them are from NC."
It sounds like your SO has been here long enough to have figured out that 'Merica isn't the same as America, am I right? We live in the south too. }:)
This sounds like DH and I to a tee. We seem really out of place in almost every social setting we find ourselves in here. I need social interaction and don't care as much as he does. We also had a group of people we met online. I was in the group before he found it (that's how we met). He still feels like he doesn't fit in. It's frustrating to me. I just want to grab him by the shoulders and say "this is as good as it's going to get! Get over yourself and have some fun!" lol. Some people have a harder time connecting with others I guess.
" I just want to grab him by
" I just want to grab him by the shoulders and say "this is as good as it's going to get! Get over yourself and have some fun!" YES!
Our age difference also doesn't help....I am 27 and he is 50 (just turned) so finding couples who accept us both and have common interests has proven difficult, to say the least. Most of my friends are in their mid-30s and accept us/him completely. When it comes to the women around his age, I tend to get the side eye. Sometimes I feel like they are threatened....like I am their worst nightmare (their husband leaving them for a younger woman, or he's my sugar daddy or something). This is NOT what happened by the way, we met and fell in love even though it is unconventional. I am very successful career wise, especially for my age, and if I weren't paying towards the mortgage and bills, SO would probably have to sell our house. I don't take a dime from him! Even so, it has been a challenge adjusting to 'Merica to say the least...I am originally from Philly and he's from England, and we both moved to 'Merica from Chicago.