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Spoiled brat

Cat woman's picture

My teenage step son is very spoiled he always gets his own way treats others bad he's very disrespectful and when i address this to his father it just seems like he gives excuses after excuses like he let's him get away with a lot of shit.   It seems like when his son is very rude with me he doesn't defend me at all. I spent 3 hours making food for everyone I put my heart into it all and for him to not even eat it hurt me . His father of course sticks up for him saying oh if he don't like it than he don't like it. I feel like that's a slap in my face and he acts like I should be okay with someone doing that to me. All he likes to eat is roast beef sandwiches  everyday pizza and junk food . He's also suppose to live with his mother but he took matters in his own hands and just moved in our house like he's a grown up.  Also he moved his gf in the house she don't pay nothing. He doesn't get much money from his own mother he don't ever like spending one night with her . I really want some space and a break I told my husband and he is trying to say parents don't get breaks well his mother gets a big break he can't even stay with her for a couple nights .  He  doesn't help at all around the house he's lazy he don't do shit but play video games and make his gf do all his dirty work. I love this kid but he's way  to spoiled he wants wants wants all the time and if you say no he gets mad . He's 17 years old still in school online learning but I don't see him paying attention he's missing class often. I feel like he needs to go back to his moms and just come on the week ends. Truly I feel awful for saying that but I liked it better when he just came over for the weekend it's so peaceful when he's gone. He is always loud and playing video games rarely watches movies but wants to smoke Marijuana and yes I do smoke it with him and before I get judged I just have to say my father allowed me and I didn't go out and hide it. He wants to smoke very very big joints like blunts everyday. If indomt buy and give him he goes off the walls . He had a popper addiction too that he almost died from thank God he's okay now but he has about 7 seizures in total .scary and bad this is why him acting crazy yelling or being to extra can effect his brain on top of it too video games with led lights too. He got better in time but his attitude and how he talk is not nice. He treats his father like dirt sometimes or acts like a little kid he's  Saud the worst things like dead beat which is not true he even spit at him and almost damaged our walls . I feel like he needs help. I get it he been thru a lot like a car accident at 3 and his moms boyfriend beat him . Nobody knew what was going on at all. His mother is often dating different men aswell. He also wasn't use to his dad dating because before we met he didn't date for 5 years . Although I know my step son loves me  but  i feel  like he trys to see his dad jump to his side and that's how I feel. I told him this but he always thinks like he can't do wrong . I don't know how to feel sometimes I feel like meeting someone else with no children. I love kids but I can't have my own I tried and was told I can't conceive. I have lots of niece and nephew I really do wish I could had a kid but it didn't happen. I sometimes wish my man didn't have a kid cause it just seems like it just about his son and I just always feel attacked. Again another short story . One day  he got upset because o said one morning about his dog he needs to take him out before bed. He's pissing everywhere and his dad says what's the big deal  I'll take him. I Said to him actually it's his dog and responsibility he should be the one doing it. I already watch him in the day and take him outside while he's sitting I'm his under amd just fartinf basically . He doesn't live here its his sons mother's dog she don't pay us she don't give food. I already have 2 dogs and two cats to take care i do all the cooking and get help from mom with the cleaning we do half but it's so much because there's a total of 6 people here. I have 2 cats aswell I need to care for . I feel like with everything I do I get no thank you or feel like they're thankful like I don't even get compliments I never hear him tell me babe your beautiful or you look good today . He always tells me he loves out of nowhere he says it and it's sweet and all but I want to know if he  think I'm beautiful. I don't feel like I am most days I use to feel low even  use to hurt my self . I been though so much and with everything going on I wanna pull ma hair out. I don't know how muxh Longley I can handle it anymore. I just want some support from him.or to back me up. I know he knows I'm right and he just doesn't want his son against him that's how I'm seeing this go down and if it continues I feel like it's best to leave unless he moves out at 18 which I highly doubt it but I hope he does because  i had enough of his stuck up ways and spoiled brat behavior. He acts like he's God his own gf said that. He needs to grow a pair and just grow up. I don't know what to do tbh 


JRI's picture

I agree with everything you are saying and I'm sorry you are going through it all.  Dad is the main problem here, too permissive, a "Disney Dad", for sure.  Why isnt he parenting this boy?  Is he afraid his son will dislike him?   Until he wakes up, nothing will likely change.  Has he talked with your SS about plans for after he graduates?  The girlfriend shouldnt be living there.  Has he talked with him seriously about birth control?  That's the last thing you need on top of everything else, a baby.  

I think you might be a new member.  If that is so, search "Disney dad", lots of us have them.  I dont know the cure, my DH was one, too, still is at 83.  Good luck.

tog redux's picture

What in the world? Your husband is a terrible parent.  Stop doing anything for this kid or trying to make him do anything himself - let your DH do everything for him.  If you cook a meal and SS doesn't like it, he can make something else for himself.

And stop buying weed for him before you get arrested for child endangerment (unless legal weed laws allow parents to give it to their own kids like they can with alcohol).

Though honestly, I'd probably be making an exit plan, because this kid and his GF are going to be there for a long time.