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Visitation is almost over

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Wed, 07/07/2021 - 8:22am

SS9 is getting picked up by BM on Saturday. We won't see him again until Christmas. He has done really well this last week and a half. SS has shed some light on the things he faces at BM's home, which are not pleasant. Due to BM and GFs irregular work schedules, SS is being dumped off wherever at all hours of the day and night. SS mentioned one night where BM was working (she works 3rd shift) and GF got called into work at 3 a.m. so SS had to be woken up and taken to a friend's house at 3 a.m. SS highlighted that he is ignored constantly, only shown affection or attention when it suits BM.

MIL Drama

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Wed, 06/30/2021 - 2:28pm

So I post a lot on here about BM and SS, but I have never mentioned my MIL. DH has two half brothers and I have heard from both BILs that MIL was a HCBM 100% when it came to coparenting with their Dad. Well MIL met and married FIL and told FIL that she didn't want anymore kids. Well FIL wanted kids so they had DH. MIL told FIL that DH was his responsibility and basically, since she didn't want him, he's not her problem to deal with. MIL and FIL divorced almost 10 years ago. FIL and DH are very close. MIL has always preferred BILs.

SS9 Is Back

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Sat, 06/26/2021 - 3:59pm

So SS9 arrived today. He was his normal, happy self despite the recent allegations of abuse. DH and I sat him down to talk, but we did not address the allegations like BM wanted us to. It was more of a check-in and the conversation lasted less than 2 minutes. We just told SS that BM said he cried a lot after leaving last time and we told him that if he is sad or having a hard time, that it's okay, but we want him to feel comfortable coming to us and telling us so we can help him. SS understood and said he wasn't that upset. He did tell DH unprompted that he didn't like the NERF gun.

Birthday Surprise

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Thu, 06/17/2021 - 6:24pm

So it has been a rough week with BM's abuse allegations, stressing out about how to tell SS about my pregnancy, and planning for SS to visit in one week. On top of it all, I came down with a nasty sinus infection and have been fighting that off since Sunday.  Not to mention, finding out I was pregnant, while planned, has been an adjustment. I am feeling better after being sick and I feel more at ease (thanks to this site) about how to handle BM and SS, but regardless, I'm ready for life to slow down a little. 

Telling SS About Baby

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Wed, 06/16/2021 - 3:25pm

So aside from our recent allegations of abuse, I have been stressing out about how to tell SS9 that DH and I are expecting. We only see SS 6 weeks per year and we don't necessarily want to tell him over the phone because it will allow BM to control the narrative once SS hangs up the phone. 

Allegations of Abuse

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Sun, 06/13/2021 - 11:11pm

SS9 went home on Saturday. We ended up having a great visit at the tail end of visitation. He was so adjusted. We went camping, had SS' friend sleepover, built a box fort, had nightly movies nights, and went swimming. SS even made a comment about me being the glue that holds our family together and he reminisced about all the nice things I've done for him. Before SS left, he gave me a huge, tight hug that I thought was going to break my ribs. He smiled and told me he would see me in two weeks and that he loved me. 

Halfway through

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Submitted by CastleJJ on Sun, 06/06/2021 - 6:08pm

We are halfway through our two week visit with SS9. I am just ready for him to go home. He has been whiny, argumentative, and just a little asshole in general. SS can never be wrong and if he is, he claims that we "misunderstood." Nothing we do for him is ever good enough. He is a mini BM, which is to be expected, but makes him more of a pain to deal with. He spent most of the week asking where his tracker smart watch is. DH told him it is turned off and in his bag (in our room) and that he does not need it. 

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