Visit With SS11.5 Almost Over
Our half of Christmas break with SS11.5 is almost over. It has been a pleasant visit overall. He has been polite, said "please" and "thank you," has helped with DD2, and has helped around the house. The good news is that SS' smartwatch has stayed in the same spot since the first day he arrived. He hasn't touched it and it has stayed turned off. DH and I are thankful it wasn't an issue this visit. It didn't stop BM from having frequent communication though. DH picked SS up last Friday, BM called Monday (Christmas), she is calling again tonight, then she picks SS up on Saturday. She has either seen or talked to SS 4 times this week between pick ups, phone calls, and drop offs. When DH knows he is going to see SS in a given week, he drops from 2 phone calls down to 1 out of courtesy because it doesn't make sense to talk to SS that frequently. BM doesn't, she fully maximizes her communication/interference as allowed by the court order.
SS drew me a picture as a Christmas gift. He drew his favorite Christmas memory with me. On the back, he wrote out why the memory was so important, saying that my actions made him feel so much less homesick, missing BM and GF and that I made a great Mom. I felt conflicted upon receiving it because SS should have never felt homesick with his Dad (he was 7 years old at the time of the memory), since DH has been active in his life since Day 1. I do appreciate his sentiment though and I appreciate the relationship we have, knowing his feelings toward me could be much much worse.
I feel very distant this visit, like I just don't care one way or the other. I don't feel as connected, don't care much about what SS has to say about BM and GF, and just feel like I'm watching a friend's kid or a nephew. Honestly, I'm ready for the visit to be over so I can get back to my normal life and not have to deal with DH communicating with BM or scheduling calls and having BM call SS, interrupting my day. When SS is with BM, we call him twice a week, but other than that, we have little to no interaction with BM and just go about our normal lives. Unfortunately at this point, SS just feels like a guest/visitor in our home that has to be hosted, constantly entertained, etc. He seems a little awkward still, so prim and proper like a guest would, not like a kid who is at home. SS has relied on us for sole entertainment this week and it has been exhausting. He wants to play video games, play board games, watch movies, etc. with us from sun up to sundown. Yet at BM's home, he is expected to entertain himself 90% of the time. DH thinks SS is seeking the attention from us that he doesn't get at home.
We are down to a day and a half left and I don't know how to feel about it. We will see him 4 days in February then again in the summer.