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BM wants Kudos

CastleJJ's picture

DH got a text from BM at 4 a.m. this morning... SS woke up around 2 a.m. complaining of a sore throat so BM rushed him to the ER. BM sent several more texts between 4 a.m. and 8 a.m. saying that SS was diagnosed with croup, given an inhaler, sent home and is doing better. When DH woke up this morning and received the messages, he just responded "Thank you for keeping me updated. I'm glad to hear SS is improving." 

This afternoon, DH gets a six paragraph email from BM outlining everything. She indicated that SS woke up around 2 a.m. complaining of a sore throat so BM rushed him to the ER. SS was tested for COVID (which BM claims was negative) and was diagnosed with croup. BM rattled off medications that were given in the ER (many of which did not make sense given his diagnosis). I Googled them and their use for treating croup and it stated that they were only used in "life threatening cases of croup where intibation is required." DH was like, "Yup so she lied." BM also said that her parents were visiting for the weekend (since they live 6 hours away) and they are respiratory therapists (they aren't), so they know everything is there to know to help SS recover. We talked to SS last night on the phone and he said BM's parents didn't visit for the weekend because they had other plans... so why did BM lie about this too? BM then went on a two paragraph explanation about how the inhaler works because clearly DH is an idiot and has no idea how to use an inhaler. BM then said she is only telling DH this because she isn't sure if SS will still be using the inhaler when he visits us for Christmas in DECEMBER... Based on these messages, it is clear that BM is looking for kudos and wants to be recognized as "Parent of the Year" for her medical intervention.

The irony is that DH and I talked to SS on the phone last night around 8 p.m. and he was totally fine. No cough, congestion, runny nose, sneezing, nothing. He told us he was heading out to play outside with the neighborhood kids. So what happened between 8 p.m. and 2 a.m. that led to an ER visit? BM kept mentioning that SS' throat was closing up and that epipen was initiated "due to croup," which makes no sense, so DH wonders if SS had an allergic reaction to something and BM is trying to cover to avoid looking negligent. DH has found that BM only goes into information overdrive when she is trying to hide something and she throws lots of research and information out there to make her explanation appear legitimate. Due to BM's narcisstic tendencies, BM can never admit wrongdoing or that accidents happen on BM's time. BM said she is keeping SS home from school tomorrow but he will return on Wednesday, so clearly it's not that serious and obviously not croup. BM did not provide any discharge paperwork in the email, so DH has no proof of an ER visit or a treatment plan/diagnosis. DH just copy and pasted the same response "Thank you for keeping me updated. I'm glad to hear SS is improving." We will see if she responds again seeking further attention. 

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

Cutting and pasting LOL.  The BM melodrama!!!

tog redux's picture

Yes, she is definitely trying to cover for something that she did wrong, no doubt about it.

Croup is a terrible sounding cough and there is no mistaking it, it's terrifying for parents - not a "sore throat".  My guess is that maybe she took him to the ED over nothing and so needs to make it look like something serious and significant?  That doesn't seem right, though.  Maybe she never took him at all but should have, for something else?  Clearly something happened in the middle of the night, or she wouldn't have texted at 4 am.

Hmmm. Mysterious.

CastleJJ's picture

As someone who had croup a ton as a kid, I told DH that her explanation makes no sense. DH wonders if it still could be COVID (even though BM said the test was negative) because BM and GF are not vaccinated and allow SS to do everything like normal, including full contact sports, because "Covid is fake news." DH said that it doesn't make sense though because if it was COVID, SS would have to be quarantined and wouldn't be able to return to school on Wednesday. 

BM is known to make mountains out of molehills and has also been known to use the ER as her pediatrician. DH used to yell at her for using the ER for minor issues, but she continued because she works for the hospital, so she gets an employee discount. One year, SS had 5 ER visits and the worst incidents were for a sinus infection and a sprained finger. DH explained to BM that even with BM's discount, the ER is still significantly more expensive than an office visit copay, and it isn't in her interests either as she pays 60% of out of pocket medical. BM doesn't care so she continues to use the ER for all medical care. 

tog redux's picture

Okay, then - my guess is that she was afraid it was COVID (all these "hoax" people know full well it exists, in my opinion) and wanted DH to be sure she took him in for something other than COVID, not COVID at all, it was CROUP, and a very bad case.

Maxwell09's picture

I doubt it is covid because covid has symptoms for two days before it actually sets in. He would not be out playing with friends then suddenly need to be rushed to the hospital. It takes longer than that to infect the body. It doesn't sound like Croup either though. If your DH covers SS on insurance I would call up there and ask about the treatments or even just call the pharacist to ask what the meds that were prescribed were for if he had a mild case of croup. 

But then again I would have engaged in the email chain with "So what was he allergic to for you to use the epipen?" in response. It would have set her off but it would have also checked her. She would have instantly known that she wasn't pulling one over on anyone.  I hope it isn't hard for her to find another epipen for him in these times. 

CastleJJ's picture

DH doesnt cover SS on his insurance. BM is long distance and has sole custody and refuses to share medical information, so we don't have much to go on. We have never had names or contact information for medical providers.

SS has no allergies and has never owned an epipen. SS is literally the most healthy kid ever. BM tried saying that the hospital administered the epipen, not her, and since she refuses to provide documentation, we have no record to go on. 

DH knows its better to just leave it. We've spent years calling BM out on her crap and it only escalates everything, so it isn't worth it. She's a narcissist so she's never wrong, even when she is. 

thinkthrice's picture

That one time, OSS tripped over his own feet in gym and the Gir "diagnosed" it as meningitis!! Rushed him to the ER for CAT scans etc. 

Got Chef all scared and worked up over nothing. 

tog redux's picture

BM got SS an inhaler because he "gets out of breath when he runs". His sister had it too at his age!  

It's called "being out of shape". He never used that inhaler.

 

CastleJJ's picture

BM claims that SS had asthma as a kid. He was never on an inhaler, medication, nebulizer, nothing. There was no medical intervention for his so called asthma. Then all the sudden, SS magically outgrew his asthma without medical intervention. BM now claims that it was "Reactive Airway Disease," which is just a fancy term for an unspecified respiratory issue. 

Oh and BM also claims SS has ADHD, which only occurred after SS was denied from the "gifted and talented" program. A simple note from the pediatrician and no further testing and SS has ADHD. BM made sure all of the teachers were aware of the diagnosis. Oh but BM refuses to medicate and believes that "mindfulness training" will help SS. This kid is very bright and can sit and work on anything for hours. BM claimed that SS kept jumping on her furniture and was out of control. Sounds like poor parenting to me. 

CastleJJ's picture

It is. He got the messages when he woke up this morning and checked his phone and then just sent one blanket response that covered all the messages BM sent. 

advice.only2's picture

My monies on she gave him the horse dewormer and he had a bad reaction and ended up in the ER.

hereiam's picture

One year, SS had 5 ER visits and the worst incidents were for a sinus infection and a sprained finger.

I really, really detest people who use the ER when it is not an E.

CastleJJ's picture

Me too! Emergency rooms can't serve those with actual emergencies when people flock to them for basic healthcare.

tog redux's picture

Especially now when they are all full of people with "the hoax". Maybe she was worried that DH would call her on taking him to an ED unnecessarily during a pandemic. 

CastleJJ's picture

You are probably 100% right. SS probably has a cold or a sinus infection or something super minor, but BM is a hypochondriac and prefers to use the ER. Its likely that she was worried DH would judge her for taking him to the ER, especially during a pandemic, so she claimed it's a terrible case of croup to justify the visit. 

tog redux's picture

Yep. And since SS is likely to mention it to DH, she wants to get ahead of it now.  You would think she might have googled the actual symptoms and treatment of croup, though.

hereiam's picture

Well, a lot of these HCBMs think they are really, really smart but they are really, really not.

AgedOut's picture

sounds like she was worried kiddo might mention to Dad that he was at the ER again so she tried to get out in front of the story to justify it away

Rumplestiltskin's picture

People bring their kids to the ER for stridor usually. That's a symptom where the upper airway does close off somewhat and the kid exhibits loud, wheezy breathing and gasping for breath. They will also have a barking cough. I guess they could also complain of a sore throat, but it's odd that she mentioned that as the reason for bringing him to the ER and not the cough or breathing problems. The cough and breathing problems can be really scary and would be the noteworthy thing about croup. Things definitely don't add up. 

CastleJJ's picture

And I would totally understand and agree with seeking emergency medical attention if SS exhibited those symptoms. I just have a hard time believing BM's story. I mean we Facetimed with SS for 30 minutes at around 8 p.m. and he was totally fine - no cough, no wheezing, no congestion or nasal drip, no raspy voice or difficulty breathing, nothing. He was talking and laughing and fine. In fact, he was heading over to play with the neighborhood kids. Then six hours later he is being rushed to the ER with a severe case of croup which was diagnosed solely from a sore throat? Something isn't adding up. 

Rumplestiltskin's picture

I don't even think you can diagnose croup without a cough or upper airway obstruction of some kind. And a dramatic BM would not fail to mention those symptoms. 

IDontCare3117's picture

I can't count the times I had croup when I was a child.  I never had a sore throat.  I would cough so hard I would vomit, but never a sore thoat.  It seemed I always got it during cold weather, too, but I could be wrong since it was so long ago, and my memory is fuzzy about 3/4/5 year old me.  

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I had croup all the time growing up... Best treatment for a mild case is literally turning on the hot water in the shower and sitting in the steam in the bathroom to loosen it all up...