I jumped in blended adventure many years ago with my BF who has a 9yo son. 
During all those years, we had a beautiful relationship and i was close to my SS. 

Then, last year, i became pregnant.
During all my pregnancy, everything and everyone were focused on SS and his well-being. 
How will he react? What should we do to let him find his place in this new family? 
I have always been highly concerned by him, always loving, gentle.... including during this period. 

ILs were only worried about this new situation. Very few questions about the unborn baby. 
Then, i gave birth with emergency C-section, in a COVID context, alone at the hospital and my baby had been admitted in intensive care for about one week. 
What a shock, so hard for me. 

Then, we went home. IL's waited 3 weeks to visit and meet our son. With absolutely no concern about him. 
SIL had a baby 3 months before, and this baby and SS seemed to be the only who they cared about. 

SS welcomed his little brother with a wonderful gift : a cold. After all i went through at hospital, i was exhausted but my baby needed me. I had to watch for him days and nights during weeks, with all a medical protocol, in order to avoid any complication and hospitalization. 

Then Christmas holidays. In a COVID context, SS9 had a new cold. He was supposed to come with us at my family house with all the members of my family (including my grand-mothers). But, SS refused to make a COVID test and BM give him credit. 
BM started to be closer from ILs, and sent SS to them for christmas. We decided to not change our plans and ILs were so furious they decided to made NO gift for our baby and EVERYTHING for SS. 

Then, February holidays. SS9 was still nice with me but i noticed some changes : he seemed more manipulative, more "fake". 
I decided to organize a little lunch for BF birthday and asked SS to come with me to choose a gift. He refused, arguing he wanted to play with his phone. I let him in the house (with cleaning lady supervision and BF authorization). 
He started to lie and tried to tell his father that he came with us to choose the gift. 
Few days later, he managed to leave the house 3 days in advance, and i discovered thanks to my cleaning lady that when i was outside the home, he called his grand mother (MIL) to tell her he was all alone while i was outside with the baby.

I tried to warn BF on this behavior and lies, but "SS will NEVER do such things, cleaning lady must have misunderstood what he said"..

Then, last holidays. MIL brought SS home after spending few days with her. She managed to arrive when i was not home in order to avoid me and the baby (he had a doctor appointment). When i came back, i met her in the street while she was driving. She didn't stop to say hello, or to see my son. 

SS was supposed to stay two weeks with us. He only stayed 3 days because of his behaviour : BF caught him on his phone texting to BM, SIL and MIL that he was mistreated with us and especially his dad. 
BF was so shocked, so so shocked. BM didn't believe him, but ILs did and we discovered they had a very long conversation that MIL, SS and SIL deleted. 
We decided to bring SS to his mother as i was so, so tired. So tired with all lies, so worried to be the next target and false accused. Just before bringing him, we went to the doctor (as he still was sick) and we discovered that he has a sever bronchitis. MIL had him for few days and she never send him to doctor " it's just a cold as usual".... Plus at MIL, he could stay 14 hours on his phone (9 yo !!). 

After all this drama, MIL and SIL called BF and told him horrible things about me : i was trying to separate him from his family. I was trying to put SS on side to prioritize my son... It was a second big shock for BF.

For now, we decided to cut every ties with ILs. BF and BM are searching for a therapist but BM doesn't want his son to cut lies with his grand-mother "who am i to forbid this relationship". 

Meanwhile, i'm a new mon since 5 months and i'm really tired. 
Since the beggining, my son had never been accepted by ILs and all my energy went to fix ILs and SS stupid behavior. 
 

It's so hard to become a mon in a blended family, where the only person who wants this family to work is me and BF. 
I'm really anxious for the future... really really anxious...
What a mother I am ? What a mother I am to impose all those drama to my little baby boy? To let him growth with such dysfonctionnal sibling ? 

Waou, life will be hard.