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I don't feel comfortable around you; where's my money?

CantComplain's picture

Sir Handsome (DH) took Princess (SD15) to lunch yesterday to spend one on one time like she requested. I wasn't there; everything I'm about to recount is secondhand from Sir Handsome's mouth. I quoted as much as I can but paraphrased the rest. Apparently, Princess came out swinging as soon as they sat down. 

Princess: Why didn't you come visit me when I was in California? 

Sir: I tried to prevent you going there in the first place because it's so far away, remember? You know I can't skip work and it's expensive to fly there; I don't have the airline miles your Mom has built up. Not to mention that you kept telling me you hated me and didn't want to talk to me. 

Princess: You should have come out for therapy. I'm not the only one who needs to work on stuff, you know. 

Sir: We did therapy over Skype, remember? You cut the sessions short because you didn't want to talk to me anymore. And when I called to talk you couldn't get off the phone fast enough.

Princess: I don't feel comfortable around you. That's why I didn't want to come to dinner last night.

Sir: You said you canceled dinner because you wanted to spend one on one time with me before you saw the family together.

Princess: [mumbles uncomfortably and picks at her hair] Did you bring my Christmas present?

Sir: Shoot, I forgot. How about I bring it when I pick you up for your therapy appt tomorrow? And if you really want me to work on stuff, how about we talk to your therapist tomorrow about setting up a family session with you and me? Which doctor are you seeing tomorrow?

Princess: ok... I guess. Seeing Doc X. 

Sir: Doc X? Right before you left for CA you said she was stupid and that you'd stopped telling her things because she was stupid.

Princess: Yeah...

Sir: Does this mean you've changed your mind about Doc X?

Princess: Yeah...

Sir: What made you change your mind?

Princess: I don't know.

[food comes, small talk is made]

Princess: After lunch, will you take me to get my nose pierced? You can take it out of my Christmas money. 

Sir: No. I don't think that's a good idea right now.


And before any of you ask, no, Princess did not so much as make a Xmas card for Sir Handsome. 


tog redux's picture

Because teen girls have a lot of BPD traits even when they are just normal kids. Once they are 18, you can say it's solidified into a pattern.

OP, your DH handled this really well.

CantComplain's picture

You're spot on about teen girls, I think. OSD was just so darn terrific that DH didn't get the full force of girl-puberty until this one matured. It's like a slap in the face. 

Thank you, Tog. DH *is* absolutely amazing. I'm so lucky to have him.

advice.only2's picture

LOL oh the one on one lunches, this way the little conniving SD's don't have any witnesses, just DH who they will discredit at every turn.

Princess is much more subtle than Spawn ever was, DH would take her to lunch and the first words out of her mouth were always "you owe me (fill in the blank)"

CantComplain's picture

No doubt about it, Princess is very good at this. She's always been good at reading people. Now she's learning to play them like instruments. Sad

StepUltimate's picture

Very proud of your DH. Sounds like he was very loving but also very firm in not getting played for money/piercings/etc. That had to be difficult but he did it! 

Much respect to your DH for successfully navigating through that interaction. Very nice to read on this website. 

CantComplain's picture

Thank you. DH really is handling this well. I'm so lucky to have him. 

Siemprematahari's picture

What's with these kids acting and treating others like sh!t but have the audacity to ask for their Christmas gift or money??? It boggles my mind that these kids think its ok to even think that.......

She doesn't feel comfortable around your H but she's ok with accepting money or a gift from him. She apparently needs to sit her manipulative @ss down somewhere and really think this through.


Goodluck's picture

"I dont feel comfortable around you"....

Let me guess but she feels just fine around All Wonderful MOMMMMMM


Exjuliemccoy's picture

We used to have a wonderful, wise member named StepAside who had three vicious SDs, an enabling MIL, and an ostrich DH. She's been married over twenty years, and seen it all.

SA called this skid behavior flipping the bird with one hand while holding the other out for cash. Greedy BMs teach it (Dad is just a cash cow to be milked), weak fathers allow it, and entitlement flourishes because there's no deep emotional bond between father and child. It's both sad and gross.

Good on your DH for countering his brat's manipulation with facts.

Ispofacto's picture

Coercive Caretaking and Hostile Dependence are the hallmarks of Histrionic Personality Disorder, it's on the same spectrum as NPD.


CantComplain's picture

Coercive caregiving and Hostile Dependence. I like those terms. Those sum it up very nicely. 

thinkthrice's picture

spoiled bitch.  "not comfortable" COD for "i don't like that you can see through my BS."