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Episode 23: Harpies are fast

CantComplain's picture

The old stories tell you that Harpies are bitter, hate-filled, hags with wings. They don't, however, tell you how darn fast those dried-up crones are. Boy, howdy, are they fast! They can grab a vulnerable knight by the offspring and the wallet and whip him back and forth like a rag doll. 

Our last episode ended with the Harpy (BM) waffling on which boarding school to send the Princess (SD15), ostensibly to thwart Sir Hadsome's (DH) plans to drive his daughter to the school. Alas, that turned into a whole rat's nest of intrigue involving an attempt by Princess to charm her way into the castle for another week. I shall spare you the rest of the details because boring and stupid.

Friday: Miracle of miracles, the Harpy DID end up deciding to send the Princess to the school only 260 mi away. She and Sir Handsome decided to use the Princess's college fund. Sir Hansdome initiated the transfer, along with penalties and tax event. The money would arrive at the school on Tuesday at the same time as Princess. 

Saturday: The Harpy checks Princess out of the treatment castle. AND GIVES HER BACK HER PHONE. WHY? JUST WHY? UGH!

Saturday, 1 hour later: Harpy texts Sir Handsome that she has changed her mind. The Princess will come back to the nest with her for a while and they'll see how it goes. That's it. No apology, explanation, discussion. 

For the love of all that is holy, it only took the Princess an hour to corrupt the Harpy.

The Harpy has been manipulative, shrewd, vicious, vengeful, and spiteful, in her quest to be the [read this with a plaintive martyr face] "only one who really loves the Princess and will give up everything to get her the help she needs." She has largely succeeded. Yet her powers were no match for the Princess's. It couldn't have even been a good fight although I would have paid money to watch it. 

Monday: After spending most of Sunday recovering from whiplash and berating himself for getting within arms' reach of the Harpy again, Sir Handsome called the bank to see if there was any way to fix some of the mess that the Harpy had wrought. 

This episode will end as a BIG THANK YOU to the sympathetic bank employee (you did not misread that) who figured out how to stop the check from going to the boarding school, and roll it over to another of the skids' college fund, thereby narrowly avoiding a visit from the Sheriff of Suburbia at tax time next year. 



Aniki's picture

SD won't go to boarding school. Or anywhere else for any length of time. Glad the bank employee saved the day!

CantComplain's picture

No. No they cannot. You have to pay a 5% penalty AND get taxed on the amount withdrawn. 


tog redux's picture

OMG. Your DH needs to stop trying to "co-parent" with BM. Let her handle anything pertaining to her crazy plans.

CantComplain's picture

AHA! You should know by now that this choose-your-own-crazy book doesn't have any happy endings. 

Last time Sir Handsome told the Harpy that he was not going to participate in her hairbrained schemes, the Harpy started poisoning Sir Handsome's family by telling them that he refuses to get involved and that his lack of involvement is really what's detrimental to the Princess's recovery. And yes, that includes the Princess's siblings. 

tog redux's picture

Yep, they all have to decide which misery they can live with - the poisoning of others against them, or the tight grip on their testicles. My DH took the poisoning, some take the testicle twisting.

I would suggest he at least get skeptical and a bit passive-aggressive and "forget" to get things done on time, knowing that she will change her mind and go the other direction.