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Episode 21: It's good to have goals?

CantComplain's picture

Good news! Insurance has at least partially relented and has decided to pay for some of Princess's (SD15) residential treatment castle. I don't know how much but I'm sure that's a relief to the Harpy (BM) who'd been paying for most of this out of pocket herself. 

Bad news! The Princess's current plan (as of last phone call with her docs) is to wait until shes home for a couple of weeks and then kill herself. 

Normally I am delighted to be told of plans ahead of time, but this one sets off a few alarm bells above and beyond the obvious. Because, why wait? Does anyone wait to do something GOOD before they off themselves? 

I mean, does she have unfinished business that she's keeping herself alive to complete? If so, can we find out what that is and keep moving the goal post? Like if her goal is to tell off someone who hurt her feelings, can we ask that person to avoid Princess's texts? Just as a stalling tactic, you know?

Does Princess want Harpy to find her body? I mean, if any of this is really real and I'm not slowly sinking into the crazymaking quicksand. Does the Harpy suspect it, too? That might be why she asked for the Princess to extend her stay at the castle for another week. And why she's looking into boarding schools for when the Princess finally has to leave the castle.


tog redux's picture

Princess has Borderline Personality Disorder, is my guess. You should all buckle in for a long ride.

justmakingthebest's picture

OY! Your SD is openly telling doctors that she is going to come home and kill herself and they are releasing her?

I would find the crappiest state hospital and have her admitted there. Screw this whole castle treatment facility. She wants to think her life is sooooo bad, show her the flip side. I bet she won't be able to wait to get home after that. 

CantComplain's picture

This doesn't make much sense, does it?

The castle docs have to release her when the gold stops pouring in whether or not she's well. I guess I don't do my job for free, either. Of course, if I quit, no one dies, but apples and oranges. 

The castle docs are real doctors. If the Princess were as serious as she claims, why aren't they recommending a padded tower for her? Why are they recommending boarding schools and therapy day camps? Can't they commit people against their will if they've tried to commit a crime (suicide, drug abuse, etc) and are explicitly stating their intention to do so again? With a timeline, even.

Unless they don't believe her? Or are just trying to scare more $ out of the Harpy?

That's a lot of question marks. It makes my head spin. Is this what quicksand feels like?

futurobrillante99's picture

It shouldn't ever come down to believing her. If she said it, then there should be enough to get her hospitalized in a not-so-plush hospital when she's released. I treat every uttered threat as a real threat. My son learned the hard way.

CantComplain's picture

I'm not sure I can agree 100% on that. You can't take every liar's lie as gospel. That's no way to live. I mean, if I believed every time my mother told me she was going to get rid of that dog of hers that bites, I'd have a lot more dog bites, right?

That being said, threatening to kill yourself as a way to get attention or manipulate others is its own kind of mental illness and mos def needs treatment. 

futurobrillante99's picture

In my state, it's a 72 hour psych hold that you can put someone on. Her doctors have heard her say she's going to do well enough to get home and THEN kill herself. That should be enough regardless of whether she's bluffing or not.

My son would SAY he was going to kill himself. Did I know he was full of sh$t? Yes. I warned him what I would do the next time he said it, and I followed through: I took him to the ER and told them he threatened suicide. So they took him in and he had to go through 4 hours of questions, strip search, blood being drawn, lectures, etc. For him, that was enough.

If she's a minor and actually SAYS she's going to kill herself when she gets home, it should be enough for a 72 hour psych eval, which could lead to placement in a run of the mill psych my state.

tog redux's picture

No - people cannot easily be committed against their will, and it's very hard to get an admission to a psychiatric hospital for kids, unless they are acutely suicidal. And even then it's a week long stay and then back home you go.  (I'm in the field). To be committed against your will you have to be an ACTIVE danger to yourself and others, and even then, it's short term.

My guess is that they know Princess has Borderline traits, and they can't keep her forever. Nor would you want them to.  $$$$.


CantComplain's picture

Thank you for sharing your expertise! There is so much I don't know about mental health treatments because, well, no one in my previous lives ever got treatment. 

Princess has been committed once before for a couple of weeks. This time was voluntary. Is there any kind of 3 strikes rule? 

tog redux's picture

No, the system has moved away from long-term hospitalization except for the sickest of people, and she won't qualify.  Even when she was "committed", she probably wasn't - if BM wanted to pull her out of there, she could have. In my area, the absolute longest a kid can be hospitalized is 90 days, and that's rare and really only for kids who are very sick and unstable.

Services vary depending on where you live, but there may be a therapeutic day program she can attend

The.Sane.One's picture

Additionally, it’s rare that a pediatric bed opens up. She can’t be housed with adults. I’ve known it to take more than a year for an inpatient pediatric bed to open. 

thinkthrice's picture

Are there no workhouses??

She needs to get into a military reform school IMHO.

CantComplain's picture

Sorry, but that has the word 'work' in it, so there's no way we could get Princess to agree to that. After all, the first of the incidents that started this whole mess was when DH asked her to clean her closet. 

I kinda love the idea of military school except that we all know the minute it gets hard (immediately, I imagine (hope)), Princess will be on the phone to the Harpy threatening to kill herself if no one comes to pick her up. And there's nothing the Harpy loves more than swooping in to rescue her poor baby girl that everyone is so mean to. 

Still, I like the way you think Smile

futurobrillante99's picture

And they've had a LOT of success with hard ass kids, too. Many places know how to break them down until they are putty in their hands.