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Episode 20: The juicy details

CantComplain's picture

I've moved beyond shock, outrage, and disbelief. Now I'm closer to denial and detachment. Or whichever stage includes gathering ammo for hours of daydreamed comeuppance for the Harpy (BM) and the Princess (SD15). Either way, I learned a lot of juicy details that the Harpy didn't disclose previously for whatever reason. 

Princess attended the middle school nearest our house. She liked it at first, then abruptly got miserable and asked to switch schools to the one near Harpy's house. She switched, never got much happier, and I didn't think much more about it. 

Come to find out, SDnow18 had found SDnow15 posting on eating disorder websites and warned her not to post on those sites. SD15 says this is why she switched schools and has carried a grudge against SD18 for years. Yeah, I don't get it, either, but it explains a lot. Doesn't explain what SD18 was doing on those sites, but Harpy could give two shits about her other two kids right now. 

When the Harpy actually went through with checking Princess into a mental health spa 3k miles away, I wondered privately about her financial situation. How could she possibly afford this? She carries the mortgage on the 5 bdrm alone, recently downgraded to a less lucrative job, kicked out her rent-paying boyfriend, and complains bitterly about having to pay child support. Insurance denied her claims, she refuses to tell friends or family, and she can't get a HELOC after all. 

Credit cards! The Harpy has been charging it up! And she still owes $15k until Princess can come home AND PROCEED TO THE NEXT STAGE OF TREATMENT WHICH AIN'T GONNA BE FREE. You can't use airline miles to buy Lexipro, can you? No wonder she was so eager to raid SS17's college fund (didn't happen yet, breathe). 

Did you guys know that for $10k (ins doesn't cover it, natch) you can have your kid "genetically tested" to see which of the anti-crazy drugs she's predisposed to taking? And then you can have them put her back on Adderall and Lexipro anyway because QUACK! Opening the EOBs has become a lot more fun lately; I've learned so much. 

Last week's fairy tale didn't have a happy ending, so here's the feel-good you've been waiting for: DH realizes that he got suckered into the vortex of crazy created by the Harpy and the Princess. He's scheming ways to get out of paying and still get his Princess access to the docs and meds she clearly needs. All is not lost. 


Winterglow's picture

Your DH might demand the credentials of whoever is running this place and whoever is treating his daughter there. THEN he should check them out to be sure they were delivered by a bona fide school and not some Mickey Mouse place or bought off the Net. My guess is that there will be a lot of talk and no actual documents produced. 

Isn't there some kind of an official body that governs "mental health" treatment places? He really ouight to be looking into this because treating someone who is mentally ill (as they claim they are doing) can be downright dangerous if you haven't a clue what you're doing. 

I would have imagined that athere would be regular communication with the parents about her progress ... if, indeed, the place was above-board. I can't get past the dunking her head in iced water to clear her ideas ... Sounds like "treatment" consists of gimmicks and gadgets. Are they affiliated with GOOP, by any chance?

I'm sure there are lots of ways to get out of participating in the cost for this. Good luck to him.

CantComplain's picture

You're right. He did. They are real doctors, for whatever that is worth. Her doctors here were real, too, but they didn't recommend a residential facility. For some reason, only the docs at the residential facility seem to think she needs the residential facility. Shocking, I know. 

They do communicate regularly on her progress, with the Harpy (BM). The Harpy passes on what she thinks DH needs to know, sometimes. DH has talked with a couple of the docs there, too. They do family therapy over Skype. 

The place does sound very GOOP like. They have assigned the Princess a vegan chef and a personal trainer in addition to her therapy docs and group therapy and music therapy and paddleboard therapy and ice water therapy.  How she'll survive when she comes home remains to be seen.

Petronella's picture

He shouldn’t have agreed to contribute one cent to any of this madness.

notsofast's picture

I had that pharmaceutical genetic testing done for $700. It included physical and mental health. Two years ago. 


I also had whole exome sequencing done. Insurance paid $11k for that, also 18 months ago. Prices are down to about $8k, or so my geneticist tells me.

On the testing front, someone is being scammed. 


CantComplain's picture

ooooh tell me more about this, please? I mean, if you're ok with sharing. I don't want to push. 

Did a doctor prescribe the tests or was it voluntary? I think insurance denied this claim because it wasn't prescribed; BM decided it was needed.

But most importantly, did they work? 

notsofast's picture

Yes. It turns out I do have a genetic disorder and the pharmaceutical one validated my experience that my body is very sensitive to certain medications and can overdose easily  Now instead of saying no benzos or give me half a child dose of that opioid and doctors thinking I am trying to dictate my care, I simply quote the genetic mutation they found (I keep a pdf of it on my phone and a little laminated card in my wallet because it's a potentially deadly reaction) and they listen.


It also lists things like "this phenotype may not respond well to x medication, but will likely do better with y."


For me, it has been worth every penny.  I did mine through genesight and yes, my Dr prescribed it. Genesight has a payment plan and no one pays more than a certain amount no matter their income or ability. 

CantComplain's picture

Thank you so much for sharing. 

I had been wondering how much of this was a scam and how much a legit test. It's good to know that the treatment itself could be useful and that it wasn't the beginning of the slippery munchauson by proxy slope.