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I Dream of Vegans

caninelover's picture

SO and I have been doing some thinking about our wedding plans for next summer.  The only 'family' event we are having is a reception in the mid-west near Grandma McBratFace as she is too old to travel now.

I had a dream last night.  

We were at our reception and we had two types of food - some yummy spicy ethnic food from my culture and the other side had some standard American fare except all the side dishes were vegan.

Bratty McBratFace was there and looking at the vegan sides and declaring them too spicy, or too bland, or just icky.  Meanwhile SO's family was standing around the food and asking where the potatoes were and where is the regular mac and cheese not vegan mac and cheese.  SO said the sides were vegan and isn't that great.  Everyone said well no and can we order pizzas?  

Meanwhile on my side of the buffet table my family is gorging themselves on juicy chicken tikka masala, saag paneer, rice and warm buttered naan bread.  We are staring at SO's family and everyone is laughing at them.  

SO's family decides to order pizzas but that someone will go and get them.  Bratty says she will go and her cousin says he will go with her.  We're all stuck waiting around for them to come back.  For some reason they came back with no pizzas but a vegan cake.  I looked at the cake and told SO it looked disgusting and we will cut the real cake that we got.  SO tells Bratty and she leaves with her vegan cake.

Then the music starts and I woke up after that.  

Dreams are really twisted.  


caninelover's picture

I'm not worried about the rest of the families interacting but I am a little concerned about Bratty being...well, Bratty.  Assuming she shows up at all, of course.

shellpell's picture

Yes, they are twisted. To be fair, there is lots of delicious vegan food and amazing vegan cakes and pastries. Wink

caninelover's picture

I've actually had some wonderful vegan food but to me the best vegan food is spicy and flavorful.  Bratty doesn't like spicy food.

I've only tried vegan pastries a few times and have always been sorry I tried them!  But different strokes...

Gimlet's picture

The best vegan food is the kind that isn't a fake anything but tweaked to keep the spirit of the dish.  We have some amazing markets in my city so I've been learning to make vegan Indian, Thai, and Chinese recipes from blogs/ YT that are run by folks who are from that culture and went vegan and don't dumb the ingredients down.  Asian food lends itself so well to being vegan.

I have a high tolerance for spice and love spicy food.  Bratty is robbing herself by trying to just copy omni dishes (I like the occasional impossible burger but mostly make food that's naturally vegan and delicious).

We also have a killer vegan bakery here, you would never know the difference.  It's tough to master, honestly.  I'm still trying.

caninelover's picture

I haven't heard that before but that's exactly what she eats!  Faux meat...

Gimlet's picture

Yeah that's not great for you and a lot of it is highly processed. Even if it's a tasty substitute, it's food that's "good for being vegan" instead of just plain good, you know? 

I would never host a traditional cookout with vegan substitutes because it's just never going to be as good, but I will sure as shit pull out my wok and make you some kick ass spicy pad kee mao.

Food should be joyous, not a pale substitute.

Ispofacto's picture

The pizza had to be vegan right?  Or were they boston market pizzas?

LOLOLOLOL @ the title of this post!

caninelover's picture

I had to google it as I'm not very good with my pasta shapes!  Looks yummy and I would eat that any day of the week.  I love Italian food.

CLove's picture

I adore Indian Food!

Weddings are stressful by themselves without the blending aspect. We eloped. Zero planning. I wish I has planned more, but 3 years ago I was jobless with no savings. It was beautiful anyway.

Keeping your cool is your best avenue - nothing can go wrong too badly because everyone will be having fun.


caninelover's picture

And pile your plate high with the good stuff Smile

Technically we're only doing a reception for close family (for us that's still like 70 people LOL).  We're getting married at City Hall legally and taking a Galapagos Cruise with a small sunset ceremony by the captain - just us, no family and no drama.

CLove's picture

dont know what its called though Biggrin

OOOOOH My mom was telling me she wants to do that cruise too! 

Biggrin sounds lovely

BPDHell's picture

The dreams are crazy, for sure! Definitely a way for the stress to come out, I suppose. I was having some really intense dreams while I was waiting for OSD to move out, they were freaking me out pretty good!lol

I love butter chicken, it is sooo darn good, but that dish hates I get the worst heartburn ever from it. I even made it at home trying to see if that would help. Nope, still had really bad heartburn. I've been trying to figure out what's setting it off ao maybe I can tweak the dish so I can still eat it. My DH says I'm bargaining. Hahaha

caninelover's picture

Similar to Lassi you can try some yogurt on the side.  Or milk.  That helps some people :). Love Butter Chicken too!

TheAccidentalSM's picture

It all sounds amazing.  

I must make some samosas soon.  Yum

caninelover's picture


ESMOD's picture

I'm curious.. is Bratty the only vegan?  If so, I would definitely not adjust my menu for basically the preference of one person.  I would be prepared to have the caterer (or whoever prepares the food) to have a plate that would suit her palate and dietary need.. but forcing everyone to eat according to her dietary preference? nope.

BTW.. love the ethnic food you described.. I love spicy and complex flavors like that! 

Winterglow's picture

That is what my niece did when she got married. One of my daughters has celiac disease and the caterers simply adapted her plate to her requirements. Easy peasy. No wait, at the end of the meal, they served macarons which are gluten-free and I never knew if it was a gesture for my daughter or because so many people love them! lol

caninelover's picture

Since it's his kid and his side of the family.  

My family would riot if there was no Indian food and his family mostly is mid-west meat and potatoes types.  They have a couple of vegetarians who may enjoy some of the vegan sides.  I have some vegetarians in my family that would probably have a bite or two of some vegan dishes.  

So we plan to have two buffet stations, one for Indian food (which wi have vegetarian options) but will be spicy.  We'll have a second station of American fare with a couple of vegan dishes that are not spicy.

I don't mind and like the idea of having lots of different kinds of food Smile

I know what I'll be eating for sure though!  Yum...


caninelover's picture

Maybe we should just GrubHub her a plate from Boston Market, you know, because tradition and all...

Stepdrama2020's picture

You beat me to the punch!  LOL

Stepdrama2020's picture

First just yesterday I was thinking I am missing your blogs and Bratty's vegannigans (shennanigans) DANG not sure of spelling. Here we are.

You dreamt of your wedding and Bratty in some way causing drama. Its a worry you have in the unconscious. Heck anyone would.

Your ethnic dishes sound yummy to the max. I say make sure your ethnic dishes are served and ENJOY. So is Bratty going to be a bridesmaid or groomsman OR ring bearer cause that would be gender neutral    Wink

caninelover's picture

Bratty will be nothing - we're not having family at our ceremony.  City Hall, then our sailing trip where the captain will administer a private ceremony - just us two sharing vows and exhanging rings.

No wedding party at all.  So I don't have to deal with Bratty in it LOL.

Stepdrama2020's picture

For the greater good, meaning entertainment on step talk, Bratty needs to be part of the ceremony. LOL Bratty should be making a speech , OMG can you imagine. 

Seriously CONGRATS and your wedding sounds like it will be  beautuful and intimate. 

caninelover's picture

Maybe we'll invite her on our sailing trip so we'll have even more drama to report - NOT!!!

caninelover's picture

I was just laughing to myself thinking what Bratty's 'speech' would be like.

'Let me count the ways I've been victimized by this wedding...starting with the lack of vegan Boston Market food...also this wedding will be the reason I can't realize my doctor dreams...oh and no one is using my pronouns...OMG is that LACTOSE in the cake frosting? original mother was mean to me and I'm sure my new SM will continue to be mean to me too... I can't speak anymore due to my chronic pain.  Goodbye Cruel World.'

MissK03's picture

Ooooo spicy foods!! I miss bratty blogs. I saw Demi lovato came out as non binary and is using they/them. I thought of bratty. Maybe they can be friends. Demi tried ruining a small business in LA I believe so maybe her new way to stay relevant? 

Don't stress about bratty at your wedding. With everyone else there she won't be a major factor. 

caninelover's picture

Yes, that's what I think too - with her other family there she won't do anything...

TheBrightSide's picture

I didn't read the entire string because my mind went back to an Indian wedding I went to where the food was AMAZING.  By far the best food I've ever had at a wedding.  It was buffet.  I had no idea what anything was, just added everything to my plate.  Soooooo amazing.

Then EVERYONE danced and it was over before midnight.

The clothing, the ceremony, the 7 sacred steps (i cried), the food....sigh.

caninelover's picture

SO and I are going to my nephew's wedding in August and they are having a traditional Indian ceremy.  SO has never seen one so he'll be in for a treat.

bananaseedo's picture

Ughh, I have to say....about 99pct of vegans I met are bat sh*t many ways.  Not all, but by far the majority have some serious mental health issues or disorders...and I say this with some compassion given my sons mental health problems- thank goodness he's not vegan lol.  Maybe it's the lack of good protein.  So man of them have been seriously brainwashed by AR groups, that are just as crazy.  

I'll take those super ethical hunters that do more then any vegan I know for conservation and environment protection any day (not to say that aren't horrible ones, like trophy hunters ughh).


Gimlet's picture

Well, the crazy ones are the loudest, just like most groups.

I eat a vegan diet other than eggs from a local farm.  I don't like to go into the reasons why I made this choice, other than I don't think the current number of humans eating the current amount of meat they are eating is sustainable.  Small changes on a large scale would be great, but that's unlikely to happen.  We can't get some people to agree to meatless Monday, let alone cutting back overall.

Bratty is an example of an entitled person who chose an identity but not the work or reasoning that goes with it.  She would be the same if she was keto, or Paleo, or non-Celiac gluten free. 

And I agree with you that hunters and environmentalists need to work together.  We've eliminated the apex predators and watching deer outstrip the ecosystem and suffer in droves is not my idea of good for animals, you know?  But humans don't want the competition and to lose any livestock to predators like wolves (and are actively slaughtering them) so here we are. 

There are also serious problems with agriculture and soil degradation that veganism does little to address.  Small, permaculture based food systems work best (and those include meat) but the scale would be difficult.

It's a multi-faceted issue and there's not an easy answer. 

P.S. my DD is a strict vegan who runs ~30 miles per week at least.  I have no trouble getting lots of exercise. As long as you aren't eating junk, getting enough protein is pretty easy.  

That said, not every diet is for every body. 

caninelover's picture

She does it to signal her moral superiority to others.  Which is why she'll flap her gums about it all day but if there is free pizza at an event she will run you over to get at it!

And she doesn't eat a healthy diet at all, unlike Gimlet.  Bratty eats mostly processed food that is in a box.  As long as they out a vegan somewhere on the label, and it can be 'cooked' in 5 min or less, that's good enough for her.