I can't stomach my stepson - and he's not a bad kid.
I've been reading the stories of folks who don't like their stepson because he's trouble. I can't stomach mine, and he's not a bad kid.
My husband and I have been married for 7 years. It's so bad that I've considered leaving my husband, taking my two teenage sons and moving back in with my ex - who I have no desire to reunite with.
It's a long story. When my husband and I started dating, I did my best to help his son who was in a desparate school/living situation and his mom wanted help. My stepson was sneaky and lied to his mother about me "trying to be his mother". I wasn't.
About a year into our marriage, I wrote BM a letter because she continued to try to run our lives when her son was with us... changing the schedules when she felt like it, and telling my husband where he could and couldn't go, and what he could and couldn't do with his 13 year old son. My husband would get really upset with her, but, not confront her. I would have to deal with his griping. Anyway, one day she went too far, and I told her I couldn't live with her running my life, and that she should let her ex have some freedom with his son while he was with us. My husband's mother told me that BM would be really mad. She had been running the show for years and no one had stood up to her.
BM announced that I was no longer welcome in her home (she was dating another member of my husband's family at the time). I thought - how does she think she can get away with this? My husband said to me, "I told you what she was like."
Two years went by, and my husband continued to interact with her - dropping off and picking up his son. I was not invited anywhere. I continued to treat her son kindly when he was at our place. I started to feel repulsed everytime I saw the boy. After two and a half years, I realized I couldn't take it any more. I talked to my mother-in-law... told her that this would never happen in my family... and told my husband that he wasn't standing up for me.
BM apologized, but I can't seem to get rid of this feeling toward the kid. I don't trust him, and I don't care to be around him. He moved in with us for a few months a couple years ago and I almost moved out.
I hardly see him any more... my husband spends a day with him about twice a month. I don't want him in my home.
It is creating tension between my husband and I. He says he wants us to be a family. He says he loves me, and I will always come first... but, I'm afraid he'll hate me for not liking his son...someday.
How can I get feelings for this boy? Especially when I don't want to?