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THIS is how all of us want it to be...

bulletproof's picture

DH and I had dinner with several of our friends today, a few of which are older than both of us. One of the couples brought up one of their kids...well, it's the husband's son from his first marriage and the wife's stepson. He's a few years younger than I am and they were talking about how they're trying to get him to realize how important college is. They've offered to pay for it for him if he maintains a B average (as an incentive to go), everything...he just doesn't want to do anything.

I asked them what he wanted to do, as in a career. The stepmom said, in a mocking-sort of way, "As little as that a career?"

The dad's reaction? He laughed! And he agreed with her. It was AMAZING to watch a parent and stepparent see the same child in the same exact light and ACCEPT the fact that the child was who he was, with no qualms! Most of us are used to getting looked at like we're mental patients for seeing our stepchildren for who they are.


sandy1234's picture

Oh yeah, DH is very realistic about the traits that SS has(manipulative, whiny, rude sometimes, etc) and is not blinded by his manipulative ways. Oooo that kid sometimes. I hate manipulative kids..

DH and I describe SS as a little bitch(privately) sometimes because, well, he acts like one Blum 3

silentnites's picture

You are right. Sometimes a bio parent can get defensive over their child or children. They can take it as a dig against them personally. They have to stand back and realize that if the conversation were about a bio child, they would more then likely be on the same page. Step parenting is difficult, but a parent reading into things that just are not there makes the process a whole lot harder, and much less desirable!