Just a quick update...
Not much has changed here. BM is still only seeing SS a few hours a week. SS is making excuses to not spend much time with her. Such as... on Friday she wanted to pick him up from school, his response to her was "Ok, but I need to be home by 4, I have basketball practice". His practice on Fridays starts at 8pm. He is very well aware of that. She she picked him up from school at 2 and brought him to my office at 4, where he sat on the floor behind my desk until I was ready to go. He'd rather sit there and wait for me to finish work than hang out with his mom. That's just sad.
BM text me last night all "boohoo I miss my son". I literally told her that I didn't have any words of wisdom to help her with that because all of my advice in the past has been ignored and I have given up on it. I ended up telling her to get a job, and to stop hanging out with trash. I thought that would make her go away... I was wrong. She text me at 630 this morning "I MISS SS, I AM A MESS". I intended on NOT REPLYING, but then I accidentally sent her a text that was intended for my sister in law. She started texting away that she was at the emergency room "for her skin". (AKA, seeking drugs) and that she is happy I haven't given up on her. Ummmm... didn't I literally TELL YOU last night that I had given up? Like LITERALLY??? I just replied with "fast food pays better than nothing". She responds, "I know".
UGH. I really can't stand her. She had asked if she could pick SS up today. I told her no because SS has baseball and basketball practice and he needs to get his homework done right after school. She says she forgot. Well, I don't really expect you to remember, since you are NOT AT ALL INVOLVED WITH ANYTHING AT ALL.
She needs to go away now.
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Comments
Yeah - I am going to go with
Yeah - I am going to go with stop replying to her at all. Clearly you decided to do that, but inadvertently made contact and look what happened?
SS is old enough to manage his own relationship with her. If she insists on texting you re: picking him up, just reply with a yes or a no.
It's time for you to disengage - from BM.
Yup, that's the plan. I did
Yup, that's the plan.
I did notice that she only resorts to texting me when SS is ignoring her. For the most part he has begun to manage his days with her. And that is fine with me as long as he keeps us informed. She is only allowed to visit with him on what would be "her days". He knows what his schedule is. If he makes plans with her and forgets he has something going on, I just remind him and he will go back and tell her he can't see her that day.
Last night she had text him a few times, when he finally responded it was short. She called, he told her he was eating dinner. He wasn't. That's when she text me. There has been such a distance between her and I, it's been nice. She is ACTING like she wants to get her sh!t together today. We all know that won't happen. So, I will ignore.
I agree with you. But, she
I agree with you. But, she has ALWAYS been a very selfish person. It's just finally reached her son.
Several years ago, probably about 8 or 9 years ago, she desperately wanted her and I to be best friends. She would tell me every single detail of her life and want me to be her shoulder to cry on. I had to tell her that being her "friend" was not really an option for me because it was always so one-sided. She wanted me to be her friend to be there for her when something good happened to her, to celebrate and to be there for her when something bad happened so I can be her shoulder... but she could never be the same for me. It's not like I can share with her the things in life that make me happy, but that is just...weird. And I can't vent to her about the things that make me sad because well, SHE was what I needed to vent about. I am not willing to be in such a one sided friendship. It's too much for me to handle. And way too awkward.
Those words never really resonated with her. So, I started telling her what makes me happy "oh, DH did this for me... isn't he cute". It only took a few times of that for her to catch on and say ok I get it... I don't want to hear about that. Yeah... she still tried to cry to me. I'm just way too nice I think. She is a selfish woman. She is a taker, never a giver. Not even for her own son.
I know moving_on. And to
I know moving_on. And to think... SS would have 4 siblings had she not aborted them all!!! :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop:
Word....
Word....
Certainly changed my views on
Certainly changed my views on the subject. That is FOR SURE!
Sally, when I cause waves,
Sally, when I cause waves, she gets SS involved. I know that many many people here take the stance of "no communication with BM", but that simply is not what is best for my SS. And... he is the only thing that matters in this situation. If putting up with her ridiculous texts means she doesn't fill SS's head with crap, then that is what I will do. AND... like today for example, I need to know what time SS will be home since she asked to pick him up from school. SS didn't tell her a time, but I need to know if she is dropping him at my office or at home, so I don't leave my office. Things are just too unpredictable with her to leave the communication up to a 12 year old. And DH, travels too much. I am SS's primary caretaker.