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Bm left town and left SS with a convicted felon and didn't tell us CONT....

briarmommy's picture

Well I wrote this before I talked to my DH about what I saw, he was upset but he didn't have the reaction I expected. I told him all of your suggestions and asked if he wanted me to call CPS or if he wanted to and request a wellness check for SS. He really didn't say anything, I think what is really sad is that he wants him to be safe and happy but I think the thought of really having SS full time scares him. BM and MIL have really in a lot of ways screwed up SS and I think it discourages my DH to have him around because he doesn't seem to have much impact and plus SS is just difficult. The more SS is around the more my DH has to admit to himself that he really doesn't like his own child much, the core personality of SS not just even the enviromental stuff. He is so different with our daughter, fully engaged and a wonderful father, but then our child is easy. She is always happy, always has slept through the night, doesn't whine, plus just because of the nature of humans she is simply with him all the time and I think that makes a difference in how some people bond. He wasn't able to be with SS much when he was a baby because he had to work 2 jobs so that BM could go to school and then be useless the rest of the time and then they divorced and after that it was only ever other weekend and the summer. BUt by then SS was 2 and a half and already difficult and DH still had to work a lot of the time SS was with him. It wasn't until SS was about 5 that DH's scedule allowed him to really spend more of his parenting time actually with him and by then a lot of seperation had been done. I think both SS and DH want to be bonded but its just not there, and as annoying as SS is I feel bad for him because I don't think he has a REAL connection with either of his parents so he tries like hell to be up there asses and get attention hoping to connect with one of them. Its just a sad situation for everyone involved and honestly I don't know what is going to happen with SS an all fo this right now.


SMto3SC's picture

NO child should be left with a man convicted of child endangerment -- PERIOD!!! -- especially for an extended amount of time!! No matter how close your DH and his son are or are not, he is still his son and only a child. Ask your DH what his feelings would be if something happened to his son and he has turned his head and ignored the situation. We got custody 3 yrs ago of my (then) SS10 & SS11. It was very rough in the beginning, but they have turned out to be wonderful, caring, and respectful young teenage boys. Maybe if you had him full time, things would be very different. It sounds as if he needs a positive role model in his life. I would be calling CPS immediately and also contacting my attorney for emergency custody. Emergency custody is only temporary until a final hearing can be held, this would give you a short time to decide if having full custody would work for you.

briarmommy's picture

I think that his fear is that it will all be for naught, BM lives in a trailer on a family farm so there are trailers with all her family all around. Her brother is the one watching SS because he lives with her and SS, so if CPS comes they will all rally and say that no its not the brother watching him its the aunt next door or the grandma 2 trailers over and SS will say ya I just ran home for clothes, its hard to prove who is really watching him. We know that it is the brother from things SS has told us but when push came to shove they all will lie for eachother including SS.