Bradymom's Blog

I blew it.

Well I pretty much did yesterday what I've didn't four years saying I wouldn't & prided myself in not. My 17 year old & I were in the car. He was talking negatively about his dad. Just little things here & there. He said, "I asked Dad for gas. He thinks it's ridiculous that you want me to get a job my senior year in school. He was saying I should get the $350 he pays in child support for gas each month." Now I began my reply in a regulars fashion.

Not picking it up

So. SS13 came Wednesday. Having had another bad day at school. I know that's a shock.

DH comes in "SS had a bad day."
Me: "Is he ok?" (I'm not heartless)
DH: "He wouldn't say."
Me: "Ok. How's his attitude?" (He's been warned to not be rude to us bc of his bad day- in past it's been over the top rude.)
DH: "I think ok. We will see. If not we can do work."

YES! Victory!!! He's getting it & following thru!

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17 year old attitude

My 17 year old can't stand being around the step kids. I can't say that I blame him. It's been four years. Many time he's the target of court issues on both sides. He's sick of it. Done. Annoyed with it all. Fed up. I completely understand. DH often thinks his annoyance is not valid. DH & my son are really close, when step kids aren't here they are all about each other. Both of them. They do all the same activities, have the same interests, text each other all day about all this stuff... Then step kids get here & he's outa here. DH doesn't get it.

They grow up

My DH treats his daughter like she's an infant!!!! 7 years old I come home to my daughters keepsake rocking horse in the living room. I ask why it's out, as it was in storage in the garage. "Oh, she saw it & wanted to ride it." She's 7. "She just loved it. Wouldn't get off of it. Rocked on it for an hour straight pretending it was real." She's 7. I nearly lost my shit. References that she's the baby & crap. Yes I say that about my kids. But it's to tease them "you will always be my baby" but the difference is--- I don't treat them that way!

Outa the mouth of babes.

SD7- "You got your hair cut?"
Me- "Yea."
SD- "It's not all..." (Makes hands to show curly & flowing down to waist.)
Me- "Um. Yeah. I got a lot cut."
SD- "My mom is going to not believe it. She always goes on and on about your hair."
Me- "Ok."
SD- "My step dad tells her to stop. Says she is obsessed with you. So she doesn't tell him about you anymore just /brother/ & I."

Outa the mouth of babes. Thanks for trying to keep her in check "step dad". Good luck with that slice of crazy.

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Dressed to annoy

Do you think your ex dresses your kids or bio mom dresses them to annoy you?

One of my sons wears my ex's shirts! & my ex is like 280! & my son is tall but way skinny!!! I know he does it on purpose cuz I hated these particular shirts when we were together. I've been "taking them out of rotation" piling them in the laundry room for about 2 years now. I just threw out 12 xxxxl tshirts!!!!

Curbside please

Do you go to the door to exchange kids? Why or why not? Does your ex? Or bio mom?

If we go to the house to get my kids, I stay in the car unless they don't come out in about 3 minutes. Haha. I don't wait very long. I text that I am there. I know my ex & his wife absolutely hate when I go to the door, so I figure they should have them ready to leave.

A special blend

Another good day with step kids! Wow it feels a million times better than the past four years. Amazing what some rules, follow through & straight forward expectations will do for the lil hell raisers. I'm so proud of my DH for stepping out of his comfort zone & seeing the kids needed this... & staying consistent. I hope it lasts. Things tend to go in waves. 2 steps forward, 1 back, 3 steps forward, 1 back... This has been pretty immediate results tho. I hope my child with autism will come around & be able to bond with SS13.

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Books & websites

What books and/or websites have you found to be the most helpful?

More time

The custody order says DH should be awarded extra time with SD if SD asks for it. Seriously. The order was written by a custody evaluator. SD has asked for more time repeatedly since summer! A counselor is involved. It was set that she was going to get set extra days. Then on the day SD was suppose to come bio mom freaked out said that's not how she understood it. So it didn't happen. Met with counselor. She thought the same as DH. They all met together & counselor said bio mom & DH need to communicate more & work it out that SD has more time. SD asks for more time every week.

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