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dads wife

boopbedoop's picture

Hi to all- my husband has 2 grown daughters, 18 and 26, who abso;utely hate me- while he also has a 9 yr old who resides with us, and is wonderful-- although i worry every day about her eventually feeling the same as her sisters; not justifiably- but simply due to the stupidity of puberty, or pressure from her sisters
The two older girls have refused to be around me at all since February
The family dynamic was so strained at that particular time that my husband and i separated in May- my husband said it wasnt a choice- he had no choice.. he is such a wonderful man- a wonderful hasband father and step dad, and my children adore him

There were alternate family get togethers this yr where my husband took his youngest and went have Christmas with his girls last night for Christmas Eve

My kids came to spend the night and watch movies, eat popcorn and drink hot chocolate, and hubby and and the 9 yr old joined us after their get together

My husband came home with a photo of his gift from his eldest- and it was the exact same flight jacket that i had waiting for him under the tree!

I was so upset, and angry and hurt

its a shame that there cant be better communication- although i have kindof detached my self from them- i know that im not completely detached, or i would not have gotten so upset...

My children could instantly see my reaction; which seemed to change the entire mood of the house
I forced myself to suck it up, thinking to myself that at least he was gonna actually hold and wear my jacket- all he had was a picture of hers!

I got up today determined to have a great day- and enjoy my time with my kids and my grandbaby- as well as hubbys mom and sister

I made a point to tell everyone i loved them and loved having them in my life- and i asked my husband to not tell his daughter that i got him a flight jacket too-

I just wish i felt like this was ever gonna get any easier!

Comments

LizzieA's picture

bbd, check out stepaside's blog, and others, they have similar problems. The key seems to be detachment--which you are doing--and getting your DH to see what is happening.

What happened in Feb? Another poster on here also had good relationships for seven years then all of a sudden she was excluded. I see it as head games and power trips and the poor DHs fall for it because they are afraid they will "lose" their kids. Those "kids" need to be told to smarten up, they are old enough to know better.