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Step daughter drama

BonusMomma5's picture

Yesterday something weird happened and my husband and I are at a loss. I was walking across the street as he was pulling into our driveway with her and she made the comment, she hopes I get hit by a car. She denied having heard this somewhere else and would not give us a reason for saying it. I tend to be the disciplinary in our home but we still have a good relationship. Just lost and looking for some guidance.

Comments

Siemprematahari's picture

How old is she and what did your H do in terms of addressing this awful comment? I get you're the disciplinarian but this really has to come from him and needs to be shut down now. SD saying things like this is unacceptable and should never be tolerated.

BonusMomma5's picture

She's five, and he handled the punishment this time. She was sent to her room and very eternal talked to. We also usually let her watch short episode of a cartoon after practicing letters but was send straight to bed after.

Ispofacto's picture

She has given you the gift of honesty, a very rare gift in Stephell.  Take her blessing and run away, live happily ever after without them.

 

advice.only2's picture

I agree with Simpre! How did your DH address this?

Spawn posted on Twitter she wished the Purge was real so she could kill me. We reported it to Twitter and the local police. This was back in the day, not like now if you report something like that they take it seriously and do something.

Siemprematahari's picture

advice.only2~ damn Shok

I remember when my H's daughter was about 13 she had written on a piece of paper to which she balled up and left it in the corner of the room and said she wished I was dead so her parents can be together. Needless to say anyone that says, writes, or feels something like this I'd keep away from like the plague....truly disturbing!

 

twoviewpoints's picture

The kiddo is five. I doubt she seriously desires to see you dead in the middle f the street. 

If she started kindergarten this year she's meeting new children and hearing whole other things from them than what's se's been accustomed to. I see the kindergarten class walk by my house when they are headed to the town library each week. Some of them saying some pretty nasty things to each other. She may be trying out some of her new found skills she's heard said.

You really should pull back from being her main disciplinary. Let Dad be 'the bad guy'. BonusMom doesn't necessarily mean the child thinks of Yu as any bonus when it comes to forms of consequences. 

I think I might of talked to her about saying mean/hurtful things. Asked her how she would feel if someone had said such a thing about her. 

Harry's picture

First disengagement from SD.  If DH did not do anything about it.  Not only the talk. But punishment.  I would never spend any time with her. No taking her anyplace. No cooking for her. No gifts, no vacation.  If DH did not punish her. He on the way out also.

 

tog redux's picture

My SS would have regretted opening his mouth if he ever said something like that to DH. If DH can't discipline her at 5, imagine what she will be wishing for you when she's 15. Don't take over your DH's responsibilities for him.

ExcellenceToolkit's picture

Withdraw from the child completely. She doesn't deserve your love. Give her love when she earns it.

fourbrats's picture

and honestly the things that some of the little ones say (and then teach their friends to say) astound me. I would let it go and have a talk with her about not saying inappropriate things and additionally dad asking her why she thought she should say that. Punishment at this point is lost. It is more important to talk about empathy, compassion and even what death and injury really means. 

Very rarely have I come across a kid who means the shocking things they say at that age. Mostly it's "naughty and potty humor" and a test to see how the adults will react. Like saying cuss words for the first time. Talking about taking a big poop. Or playing finger guns or a new favorite around the playground, "deaths seen in various kids shows." 

BonusMomma5's picture

I feel like all the comments about leaving my husband over one comment a 5 year old made is rather drastic...

sickofstephell's picture

I agree with you. But don't take what she said lightly. I don't care how old a child is - they cannot say those things.