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sd getting ready to be a woman??

bonusmom's picture

Submitted by bonusmom on Tue, 05/08/2007 - 11:02am

Okay so the other evening hubby was speaking to bm regarding summer break with sd...and I guess sd and bm were arguing they tend to do that...too much alike... any how bm was telling hubby about how hard it has been to deal with sd lately and if she doesn't cool it sd will be coming to live with us for good...she then said "You know she's going to start her rag soon." sorry to be so vile that was bm's exact words....I told hubby that I would like to discuss this with bm because I want to know how she would like me to handle the situation if sd is with us when she starts..hubby replied with "We don't need to discuss anything with her we will handle however we see fit" okay great I was just trying to avoid an arguement about how I didn't explain things properly, because you know we stepmom's can't do anything right ha ha...so I guess I would like to know how you all would handle it if sd was to start her period while at your home??? I want to be fully prepared...

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laughterandtears's picture

Submitted by laughterandtears on Tue, 05/08/2007 - 11:25am

do you think she would let you know? I would make sure I had all the things she would need on hand, let her know where it is and offer to be there if she needs to talk. I'm asuming this will be her first menstural cycle. Anyway, if BM gets mad, then that is her problem. Your SD doen't need to suffer because it might offend BM.
IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.

bonusmom's picture

Submitted by bonusmom on Tue, 05/08/2007 - 12:00pm

Thanks for the advice...I wish I could get over this thing with the bm I always do what ever I can to avoid stepping on her toes for no reason than I try to respect her as a mother....my husband tells me that I try too hard to keep the peace...Im sick and damn tired of being the nice guy...

Anne 8102's picture

Submitted by Anne 8102 on Tue, 05/08/2007 - 12:21pm

Well, it happened at our house like this...

DH: "Uh, Anne! Come quick! The girls need your help in the bathroom!"

SD15 had made the mistake of saying, "Dad, SD14 just started her period."

I went in, provided her with supplies and told her what to do with them. Having a sister a year older, she already knew what to expect. Everyone was fine, except for DH, who looked like he'd been poleaxed.

~ Anne ~

We are the masters of our own fate; the architects of our own destiny.

bonusmom's picture

Submitted by bonusmom on Tue, 05/08/2007 - 12:40pm

I was just reading about how to handle a daughter starting her period...they don't have much on step daughter...anyhow they suggested a pregift and the big day gift...I don't think bm has really explained anything to sd as a matter of fact I think the most she has said to her is "your going to start your rag soon" rude huh?? Do you all think it is inappropriate for me to talk to sd about it, or to buy her a pregift?? I just remember how freaked out I was...

sweetthing's picture

Submitted by sweetthing on Tue, 05/08/2007 - 1:54pm

I will never forget I got it on 4th of July & it lasted like 6 days. ICK!! They say that young girls are getting their periods earlier now ( I have heard it blamed on hormones in foods, who knows) My mother gave me some of her supplies & then went out & bought me my own & a belt. That just sucked. of course this was almost 29 years ago & things have come a long way.

I do remember they showed us the sex ed tape in 5th grade that discussed periods. The Judy Blume book, Are you there god it's me Margaret. I think would be a great book to get her to read. I remember it talks about your first bra, and getting your first period. Do kids read stuff like that any more, or am I really showing my age??? I think I started wearing a bra that year too. I guess I was an early developer.

Maybe get some supplies to keep at home for just in case it should happen.

I am with Janice, there is nothing congratulatory about menstration, unless your late & waiting for it. Smile

New Stepmom's picture

Submitted by New Stepmom on Tue, 05/08/2007 - 2:07pm

because I have been thinking about the same stuff recently. SD10 has started to fill out some. I've noticed little "mosquito bites". Just the other day, DH blurted out the comment, "SD10, you need to start wearing a bra!" and I was devastated for her!!! She brushed it off and kept playing but I told him not to EVER say something like that to her again. She's already a very shy little girl and I know she was so embarrassed. You would think BM would notice and get the poor girl a training bra. So my intentions this weekend are to take her shopping and get her a couple. But this also got me thinking about when she starts her period. Since she's already so shy and modest, I know she would have a difficult time telling us if it happens, but I also don't know how to prepare her. I think I will get her a basket of stuff and keep in her bathroom, so if she starts at our house, she will have what she needs. And if it happened at our house, I would probably call BM and ask her if she wanted to come over and talk to SD. I'm sure that would help her feel better, having her real mom there with her. I didn't start until I was in 10th grade!! And I was pissed when I did! I loved not having to worry about - I was the last of all of my friends.

fedupinarkansas's picture

Submitted by fedupinarkansas on Tue, 05/08/2007 - 3:44pm

when my BF daughter started her period he gave her the sex talk and told her if he finds out the she is having sex he is going to kill her and the boy. Her mouth dropped to the floor. I almost fell off the couch because i was laughing so hard. Now we can't pay her to stay with us anymore. LOL

Bonus Wife's picture

Submitted by Bonus Wife on Tue, 05/08/2007 - 5:21pm

My daughter is 12 - 6th grade - getting the symptoms described above. My poor husband....His sd is premenstrual and I'm perimenopausal. Fun, fun, fun.

Stephanie's picture

Submitted by Stephanie on Tue, 05/08/2007 - 10:47pm

I waited for BM to have "the talk" and she never did. I had taken SD for her physical and the doctor mentioned that it was probably getting close (argh, she was only 10!). I waited a long time for BM to discuss it with her, so as not to step on her motherly toes (whatever), but she never did have any discussion with her, never bought her a bra either. So I finally gave in and had the talk with her. I basically told her that no matter when it happened she could call me and I would come. I also gave her some supplies to keep in her backpack. I think sometimes we do try too hard to keep the peace and we should just roll with what our gut tells us to do. I would have felt really bad if I had waited too long and she wouldn't have known what to do.

You can read the whole story about "The Talk" at:
http://stephaniesplace.wordpress.com/2007/03/02/have-you-had-the-talk/

Check out my blog at http://stephaniesplace.wordpress.com