New here, need to vent!
Let me start by saying, I’m not totally familiar with all of the lingo but I’ll do my best.
My husband and I married a little under a year ago and for the most part all is well between us, there’s just one little issue, the SK. I have no kids, well, I’m with child now but other than the one in tow, no.
DH spoils this kid rotten so when the kid comes over our marriage isn’t even the same. The atmosphere is totally different when the kid is here. He thinks I’m being too hard on him with my expectations but I’m not! In fact this is stuff the kid should be doing anyway! But the kid is super lazy!
He isn’t even doing all that great in school and when o try to help I’m being “too harsh” Too harsh? If you have trouble reading and all I ask is for the kid to read a chapter and let’s discuss it, that’s harsh? But you're fine with letting this kid sit in front of the tv for 12-16 hours? Give me a break!
Ive asked the kid to make up the bed he sleeps in when he’s over, which isn’t often THANK GOD! But that’s like pulling teeth! He eats and leaves crumbs all over the floor and table, doesn’t wash dishes, tell him no eating in the rooms, I find food all over, including smeared food in a trashless trashcan! He even stuffed food in my couch once because he said he didn’t feel like getting up! What the heck is that!?! I mean the list goes on and on, did I mention the kid is 10!!?!? Like, we had chores growing up at like 5! As a matter of fact, making up our beds and keeping our rooms cleaned weren’t chores, they were obligations in my upbringing!
The kid is super manipulative, because he knows his dad is going to defend him. He lies a lot! He could be wearing a blue shirt and swear to you it’s green! It’s ridiculous! I’ve taken my hands off when trying to correct him or ask anything of him but it’s hard considering this is MY HOUSE! I got this house before I even met my DH. I don’t feel he hold him responsible for keeping the spaces clean because we didn’t get the house together? I don’t know. It just seems like people in general would be more concerned with things they worked hard to get.
Now that I’m with child, I can’t even enjoy being pregnant because of the constant bickering we have when SK is over. I’m literally counting down the days for him to become an adult or at least old enough where he can just stay over to his mothers by himself. I am only at peace in my home and marriage when the SK isn’t here!
Theres so much more to this story and I can’t wait to get comfortable enough to vent more but I just figured I needed to get this off of my chest now! I’m afraid it’s going to seem like an us (my child and I) vs them my DH and his son once my child arrives.
DH wants me to treat his kid like mine but how could I when everything I say you’re offended by? I just want a happy marriage but this while SK thing makes it tough!