You are here


bitsnpieces15's picture

Well, it is over!  Paid the last check, sent the last email, and sent a final bday card.  19 and done, he got a GED barely and now has a job.  No communication with his dad and very little with his dad’s family.  Very sad to see a child we invested so much in not even want a relationship.  He is blinded by is mother’s lies and victimization.  


I think he he will grow out of it.. but I am not sure.  He is mad at me over a fight from 2 years ago!  I wasn’t totally wrong, but I handled it poorly.  I apologize more than once.  Deep down, I think he is angry that his parents divorced when he was a baby:toddler. 

Have any of you had the complete alienation in late teens (boy) for them to come around as you adults?


Harry's picture

They are angry because is there parents stayed together, there life would be so much better. Living at Disney World, eating fast food 24/7 . Not having to go to school,  play video games 24/7.  Boy they missed out on a great life because of you.  

But then again if life was so great there parents would not divorced and not put themselves and there happiness first , and before there kids and family 

TwoOfUs's picture

My OSD was completely alienated at 18-19...and then came around pretty much as soon as she moved out on her own. Or, within a couple months. I think it gave her a new perspective on what it takes to be an adult and some new respect for her dad. It also didn't hurt that she was away from BM's poisoning tongue and able to think for herself for the first time ever. 

So,,,yes, I have seen it happen. 

Right now, SS20 has declared he wants no relationship with his dad, and it's really killing my DH. Surprise, surprise, SS is the kid most enmeshed with the point that even his sisters mock him for it and tell him he needs to get his own life. This has been a pattern for us. Whichever kid BM is most "protective" of at the moment is the kid who wants little to nothing to do with DH. 

tog redux's picture

THEY aren't angry about the divorce - their mothers are. So they sentence their sons to act out that anger.

My SS is 19 and he was totally alienated from 15-18.  He's still partially alienated, and the only way he will ever come around is when/if he gets away from BM, which isn't likely to happen any time soon.

thinkthrice's picture

pure projection

thinkthrice's picture

Was fed the divorce poison from age 7 years old non stop from the entire BM Clan.  And the younger two had that much more years of PAS under their belts.  Even to the point of conspiring with the BM on false abuse allegations.

 The cognitive dissonance must have been deafening so it is much easier to continue on believing that Dad was the horrible ogre and mom was the innocent saint.  

These victims of PAS would have to deny their whole childhood as a big fat lie and they are not about to do that for the most part.  OSS22.5 has been officially out of the house since he was 19 however he did spend a good six months with his paternal Uncle who also took the BM's side.  

3 years out on his own.   When I say out on his own, I mean living with his girlfriend and her mother and sponging off of them working part-time on a smoothie truck that is owned by the BM Clan while indulging his pot habit.  

No attempt at contact with us whatsoever.  For me that's a good thing as I am still traumatized to this day by their horrendous behavior and SO's over indulgence just to try to appease the BM.

Although I did have the most hope for the oldest,  the younger two are definitely a lost cause.

notsobradybunch's picture

I'd like to think maturity will do this at some point. SD18 needs to grow up A LOT and stop blaming her bio parents for everything wrong in her life. Granted she's had it tough, but I'd like to think once she matures she'll figure things out. Such an unknown though...