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Sometimes DH does something and I don't like who I see

Biomomof2's picture

Ok. So DHs family is all a mess. He raised his exSD. Had full gardenship of her. His ex wife dropped exSD and ex SS off at a homeless shelter. CPS turned them over to DH as no one in her family wanted them. SD25 is DHs bio dd and ExSD, exSS half sister. After DH had SD, exSD and exSS his ex wife dropped her new baby 9montha old off at his door. He got his parents to raise this baby. She is his sister / exwives kid/ his DD half sister. Like I said.. A mess.
Anyways, his parents have very little to do with exSD. She is a problem drinker, has bi-polar... Is just a mess. They have kept their ADD (adopted daughter) away from her. For some reason DH really likes to shove exSD down everyone's throat. "She's my daughter and I love her". It is kinda ridiculous.
Anyways anytime anything happens he plays telephone tree. He will get a call from DD about something and his response is I should call exSD. It's her sister. Ummm, if your DD wanted her to know she would call.
This weekend his mom called him. ADDs boyfriend was in a car accident. First thing DH says when he gets off the phone... I should call exSD. I asked him, why? If they wanted her to know, they would call. He said well, my mom will never call her and ADD is upset. She isn't calling anyone. But it's her sister and support never hurts.
Why doesn't this man understand that no one calls exSD because she is not in their lives?? They don't want her to know?? ADD has stopped really talking to DH, his own DD has stopped sharing... All because they don't want exSD to know. Why does he feel she had a right to know??? But guess what? OnlyexSD. He never told his DD. His DD has told me straight out she is soo tired of the exclusive club with DH and exSD. She is not welcome. I tried to talk to DH about it. He had the nerve to state the sqeeky wheel gets the grease. DD doesn't demand the attention.
How does a grown man think it is ok?? He has trained DD since she was little to stand in line behind exSD. And he is surprised that she does?? She calls me more, because I don't do that shit. I don't get off the phone and run to exSD with everything she told me.
Sometimes I don't like DHs choices. He is kinda ridiculous.

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Biomomof2's picture

Yep.
DH and I are both an matriage number three.
My first marriage I was 18 and stupid. It lasts from dating to divorce 2 years. My second marriage produced DD and BS. I was 21 when we married and he was 31. I wanted out 2 years in when he got abusive but I already had DD and couldn't see ever leaving home alone with her. And now DH.
His first marriage he was 19, feel in love with an older woman who had 2 kids. He became instant dad. Neither Bf had anything to do with kids. DD comes along. He sticks around for a total of 6 years. After DD he gets fixed. Realized no more kids in this situation. Second marriage, she seemed liked heaven after his ex. But they were polar opposites of crazy. One a drunk, violent and crazy. The second was cold. She (I have met her) helped raise the kids but is seriously shut off from life.
And now me.
I told DH from the beginning... This is either third times a charm or 3 strikes and I'm out.
He is somewhat of a chameleon. He changes around exSD and I can't stand that person. I like who he is without all the crazy around.

Biomomof2's picture

They HAVE. They don't talk to her. But he thinks she should be informed of eVERyTHING!!!!! He is slowly losing people in his life because of this crap. His own DD comes to me over him because of this crap.