It's been a while... Massive changes
DH and I are no longer together. He no longer lives here, everyone is happier.
Real reason I decided to post.
BF has son 50/50 and DS11 told his attorney this is what he wants. Kid has been a straight A student, had an IQ test last year, scored one point below genius so classified as superior IQby his school, has never had detention in his life. DS was every other weekend with day until this year. He has averaged 2 detentions a week. This week with me, I told him he could have a friend over today if no detentions and we will go to the river this weekend if no detentions at all. So far no detentions. BF apparently thinks taking away Xbox and letting DS watch TV all night is punishment. DS is not being "bad" but attention seeking in class.
DD13, has been on another schedule with BF. Every other weekend still and every other Wednesday dinner. 3 weeks ago BF picks up DD almost an hour late. 2 hours and 15 mins after BF picked her up he called, told me BF had a long talk with DD. She told him she didn't want to go over there anymore, no weekly calls, no dinner on Wednesday. She told him he lets her brother treat her like crap and she feels he punishes her for being close to me. Soo BF told her fine. Called me said come pick her up. He finished making dinner and BS and BF sat down to eat while DD was made to sit on the couch and wait for me. He hasn't called, text her in 3 weeks. They have never been close but I can't wrap my head around doing this to your child.
I was told by the children's attorney to give it 4 months and file for sole legal and physical. DD is now on anti-anxiety meds. She calls BF by his name. I told her I know she is upset and their relationship is rough but don't lock the door just yet. Hope for the best (the can fix it) and prepare for the worse ( as mom, I have her in counseling so she can work on her feelings about this)
Counselor called today to say after talking with DD, she will be writing a letter to go with the change of custody paperwork as she doesn't want DD around BF. This is the same BF that cut out his oldest DD because she asked him to keep a promise. I saw the texts. He told her to change her name, he is not her dad.
I wish I had a magic wand to help both my kids.