I need advice
Im posting as a BM
My ex, BF to my kids was and is verbal and emotionally abusive. I had an RO that expired in March. I haven't renewed it because honestly it didn't help anything.
BF is asking for 50/50
DD is almost 13, she is asking no forced visiting and her therapist agrees with her
DS10 is telling his therapist he is mixed up. Scared of dad but dad tells him he has the same rights I do so why shouldn't he have 50/50.
BF gives me anxiety. Being in a room with him (Mediation) makes me panic. It is really the only time I KNOW how bad his abuse affected me
Kids have an attorney assigned to them.
She is trying to get BF to see how he should be more flexible with DD. he gives her panic attacks and anxiety as well.
The biggest thing I had to overcome before leaving him was knowing the kids would spend time alone with him.
Attorney advice is that we attend Co-parenting therapy.
Dad says I tell him what is happening. Attorney tried to explain me telling him when DD is getting her braces, or stuff like that is not me being bossy, it is a fact that I have sole Legal.
Mediation yesterday BF got upset and said "did you hear that? She has said it 4 times now. She gave the schools permission to speak to me. I'm the children's father I don't need her permission for anything"
Attorney and mediator tried to explain that if I had to give permission, it is because I have sole legal and the schools require it. Asked him why it bugs him. His response "she is not in charge of me"
Sooooo Co-parenting therapy. BF has not changed. Just went off on me in email 3 weeks ago. Got caught in 5 lies in mediation. I felt kinda cornered. I agreed because when I brought up how much he drives my anxiety, how he is verbally abusive, how every therapist has even told the attorney, children told the attorney he has an anger issue... I was told to let the past go. I would be with a therapist who wouldn't let any happen and people can change. Ugh. So I have 5 yrs of emails printed out of the way he speaks to me, 10 years married (he flipped on me the moment I found out I was pregnant about 2yrs into marriage). Never was dad told calling me a whore, a piece of s!$t.... A laundry list... Needs to stop.
I'm just old to let go of the past. They asked about 50/50. My response? DS10 has been diagnosed with OCD for 2 yrs. bF has no clue what that is and tells our son he doesn't have it. DD has had a learning IEP for 8 yrs.. Dad has no clue. Started while we were still married. So how can he take on 50/50 when he can't handle what he has?
I have felt on the verge of a panic attack since mediation. Why would they ever think this is a good idea??