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Dtzyblnd ..please help

Biomomof2's picture

So here is how this went down... You seems to know more about it then me
BF, his ODD and her BM are in court. Judge is working out how much BF needs to pay for ODD while she is in college. BF makes the comment she can just use my GI BILL instead. So court order reflexes... BF agrees to sign GI BILL over in lue of direct payments to EXSD. Sooooo, now he never did. She has gotten him on contempt of court 3 months ago, they are trying to calculate how much $$$ he owes instead. Just got off the phone with her, the military is not being compliant and is dragging out releasing his GI BILL benefits guidelines so they can have documentation of what she would have gotten per month to tally what BF actually owes.
Judge stated yesterday that BF is actually going to owe more then would have ever been CO because he opened his mouth about the GI BILL. Looks like the GI BILL would have payed out something like $1200 a month to her. They are having to use online calculators at this point as BF is not being forth coming and military is being difficult.
Sooooo this is how he got CO to sign his GI BILL over to her. And why he is now on the hook. Judge stated that he believes BF brought up the GI BILL with no intentions to sign it over and no intentions of paying. So, judge is going to having BF pay the full amount the GI Bill would have covered rather then just a calculated cost. While he may not be able to be forced to sign it over, he offered and made it part of the court order.
Sooooo what are your thoughts on this? And how do they get the military to actually comply with the supenoa for the paperwork???

Comments

Sports Fan's picture

Not specifically about the GI Bill. When DH and BM divorced there were two items that were related to DH's military service. One was a savings plan and the other was his retirement. For both items, it was specified in the agreement that BM had to have a QDRO(Qualified Domestic Relations Order) submitted to the judge for the judge to sign to send to the military so they would do what was in the agreement. BM's lawyer drew up the orders and sent them to the judge. There are samples of these QDRO's on some of the websites as guides for lawyers. Not sure if it would be the same for the GI Bill but maybe you could search their website and see if there are any similar instructions.

Sports Fan's picture

The GI Bill is for education. Military members get it for serving. I don't know all the details. DH has it. He has signed it over to his kids since he isn't going to use it at this point in his life. It was his choice, however. I think in this case the BF offered it up to pay for his kids college but then didn't do what he had to in order to transfer it so the court is ordering him to pay the value of it.

Biomomof2's picture

ExSD is out of state. Her BM has asked me to help get him served. She has sent me all copies of orders, minutes and transcripts. This is how I know, because BM1 and I can get along and do what is best for ExSD and DD, BS which is keep a relationship between the three going.

Biomomof2's picture

Thank god somebody understood!!!! You got it completely. He wasn't straight court ordered, it became a CO because he offered it.
He is using the GI Bill on himself now, so I don't see how they can reimburse him for having to pay for ExSD. If he had been honest in court his payment amount would have been about 1/2 what the GI BILL covers. But he didn't want to pay and screwed himself

Biomomof2's picture

It's an interesting situation. BM and I get along really well. ExSD is actually a really good big sister. BM and I keep in touch, and help each other out. We have both actually shared court files with each other and found BF was lieing in both cases. It helped stop problems before they started. In my CS case he tried to offer up the GI BILL as well but since I had the paperwork that he offered it up to ExSD he couldn't get away with it.

Biomomof2's picture

Now I get your last question. GI BILL pays out an amount ...based on rank, time in. Sooo courts want his exact monthly pay out. Since he didn't follow through, courts are going make him pay exactly what the GI Bill would have paid her. That is why they are asking for exact information.

Sports Fan's picture

I think the QDRO might be the way to get that. Like you said, just making a call/asking probably isn't going to work.

Biomomof2's picture

Yep. It's legal because he volunteered it and signed the order. Had it checked by military legal and a private lawyer. And I think the judge has it right. Dad never intended to sign it over, just wanted to find a way to buy time. Which in fact got him owing more.
Everyone has their opinion on where divorced parents should have to do this or not. But by law, they can be court ordered to pay for college.
And opinions really don't play apart of the legal system. I'm personally of the belief of I can help my kids, I will. I want more for them then was offered to me. Granted BS has an above genius IQ and even with DDs learning disability her IQ is higher then average. They probably won't need as much help from me as I needed.

another step's picture

In most states, judges can not reassign ownership of private property. They do an equitable division by calculating the $ amount of all assets and coming up with a dollar amount that one owes the other. How the "owing" party decides to pay - refinance real estate and borrow against the equity, transfer 401k assets, voluntarily retitle vehicles - is a matter for negotiation.

But if someone does an out of court settlement by agreement, they are bound by that agreement to do whatever they promised at the time if the other party chooses to enforce it.

Biomomof2's picture

It's an agreement in the court order that BF volunteers to use his GI BILL in leu of payment. That is 100% inforceable

another step's picture

I was not clear above. Out of court agreements are "blessed" by the judge and incorporated into a final Order. If it is in there as part of property division, it is enforceable.

another step's picture

^^^THIS^^^ No judge can force a 3rd party to do anything related to Divorce or Support. But they sure as hell can force one of the couple to come up with the money equivalent!

WTF...REALLY's picture

Why have the courts all across the country gotten involved in paying for kids college in the first place I want to know. Our parents were never legally bound to pay college! I would not be able to support my son and my SD if I was forced to pay for my older daughters college. Nor could my exH.

She got grants, etc. I got grants etc.

I am not planning on paying for my sons college or my SD. If I had then money I would. But it should be ILLEGAL TO FORCE A PARENT TO PAY FOR COLLEGE.

Courts do not force intact parents to pay for college.

Ok - off my soap box now.

Jsmom's picture

I agree, when did we have to pay for their college. I pay because I can for BS, but the minute I can't he gets a loan. He can't sue me because his dad is deceased not divorced. This is shitty. No one should have to pay.

Also, I am not liking that the ex is so involved in this. This is on BM and the kid. I would stay the hell out of it. Retaliation is a bitch.

Biomomof2's picture

Well actually after years of BF trying to pit BM and I against each other... He is finally reaping what he created.

WTF...REALLY's picture

Not trying to be judgmental (right before I say something judgmental lol) - This really seams to be something between the parents. This is not hill I would want to die on. Getting involved with an ex and his ex about college. Trying to force him to pay for her college. I already think it so unfair to make a parent pay for college as it is - but to try to force an ex over someones else kid - that could be some bad karma for you later on. Just sayin...

WTF...REALLY's picture

Your doing more than just helping him serve him - you are finding out details, doing research, etc, etc. I would stay out of it big time!

Biomomof2's picture

Thank you!!!! I forwarded the link to her mom. They have a supenoa for his GI BILL documents but no one is complying
Yeh, they are going to calculate what would have been paid in full by the GI BILL since that was what he said she could use. This is not a normal skid. She has already gone through cosmetology school. Went senior year and one year after. Has been working on the weekends doing hair and a manager at Burger King where she has worked for all most 4 yrs. and she is getting her business degree. So as far as her doing what she needs to, that's not an issue.