At 20 I started dating BF. We got married in 2001.. I was 21...he was 31 divorced with a kid and a step kid.
I heated all this stories about her, a lot of what I read here. I fell for a lot of it
I divorced him (funny we both left him at the same age!!!)
I started to see things a little differently
She is money hungry... Never modified CS in 15 yrs. never took him to court over the fact that he NEVER covered uninsured costs. He never handled any of it.. BM and I did
She is feeding my dd full of crap... BF saw his DD summers only, would go months without calls. Visits got shorter and shorter. When my DD was 6 months old the verbal abuse and emotional abuse started. He did the same to his oDD.
The list is long. I believed my exDH because that was in my best interest
Now, my kids... He has never taken them to any doc appointment.. Never made one. DD was 6 and BS was 4 when I left.. Same dentist, doctor, eye doc, since DD was 2... BF couldn't even tell you who they are. It is the reason I was given full legal.
Talk to his friends or listen in court..... I keep this information from him.. It's all my fault.
Yeh, I have signed a form at school so they will talk to BF... He never has called.
I have signed a form for him to talk to the therapist, he won't call
I have signed a form at each doctors office, he won't call
Instead he tried to get the courts to make me tell him everything
Look, as a CP BM I have to put in the time to call all of these places... I do not have a secretary. Why does BF expect me to be his?? He has 25 days a month with no kids, he has no GF or wife, he's a full time student since he retired... But I should be his secretary or im keeping information????
Sorry don't think so.
I take kids to school everyday and always have
I am the one that knows their clothes sizes.. Interests... Blah blah blah
And BF is again $6000 in arrears.. Refuses to stop talking about me to the kids.. Refuses to be apart of the kids life outside his house.
I just found out if DD has homework due on Monday and she is at her BFs for the weekend she makes arrangements on her own with the teacher to turn it in on Tuesday as She refuses to do HW at BF. She told me she tried and he just yells.
He tried to ground her for her grades. She has an IEP and has made so much progress in the last year. She has a 3.0 right now. But not good enough.. And he has never bothered to be at an IEP meeting or get copies. This started before I left.
When the NCP is so far out of the bios real life and has never shown a real interest.. I will admit I would be controlling if he got with a woman that stayed and all of a sudden put on an act.
Most BMs on here are abusive or neglectful.. And that is NOT what I'm talking about. But as the BM that has to undo disney dads bull come Monday.. I get it.
If we SM are frustrated with the lack of rules and consequences for the perfect skids... How do we think BM feels to get them back???
Let me give you an example... BS is homeschooled.. He is reading Harry Potter. On Fridays if he has finished a book he gets a movie. BF had them this past Tuesday. Both BS and DD alone told me BF told dS those are your moms rules.. This is not your moms house, let's watch the next movie.
BF hates Marvel... He has been a DC guy forever.. Told both kids... Well your mom doesn't let you watch the movies so you can here. He is "fun" dad with a side of emotional abuse. (Not going just of bios... I believe DS has played the game but he is abusive I have a permanent RO against him). Any rule they have here... Out the window at dads simply because. No pg13 movies for 6 yr olds... That's your mom stupid rule, let's watch them. Soda on a rare occasion..(doesn't matter DS is OCD/ADHD) you can have all the Dr Pepper and sweet tea you want .. In fact I'm going to send you both home with 2 cans of each!!!!
Then my house is hell for 2 days while I "fix" DS9.. DD is not as bad, she is older and knows me very well. Plus BF has turned DS into his BFF who runs the house. It's no wonder my DD told me dad can't keep a GF.
Anyways.. My point... There is another side. ExSD's BM is an actual friend now. ExSD came to visit her brother and sister for a week and stayed with me. Before... There were sides. Now there is only life. BS and DD deserve to know their sister as long as the relationship is healthy.. OH, and BF disowned her for calling out his BS. She showed me the whole text conversation.