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Update - Sticky Fingers

BettyRay's picture

When I got home last night I decided to put the flash drive back in SS13's bedroom (where I found it). Just wanted to see how this would play out. I figured depending on how SS13 responded I could always confront SS13 about it.

I brought up the flash drive at dinner. It was just DH, SS13 and me, SS18 was out with friends so he missed dinner.

I casually asked, "Has anyone seen my flash drive? The last time I saw it it was with my Surface Pro."

DH: "No, but is it on the top of the entertainment center."
ME: "I checked, it's not there."
SS13: "Is it black and red?" *trying to act matter-of-factly, and looking down at his plate.*
Me: "Yes."
SS13: "I think it maybe in either my room or SS18's room. I'll check after dinner."
DH: "Why would it be in your bedroom?"
SS13: "I don't know that's just where I remembered seeing it."
DH: "Oh."
ME: "How did it get there?"
SS13: "I have no idea. I just remember seeing it there."
DH: "OK." *giving me the BettyRay-drop-it-look*

After dinner SS13 went to take a shower.

I told DH: "doesn't it seem odd that SS13 would say it may be in their bedrooms?" DH looked at me with a weird expression and said "yes". I dropped it and started clearing the table and doing dishes.

DH left the table and started looking for the flash drive, moving the TV and looking in the entertainment center. When he didn't find it there DH started looking around SS18's room for it. DH said to me: "What if SS18 just took it?" I said I don't know but did you check SS13's room? DH said no and that he wanted SS13 to check his own room. I said fine and went back to what I was doing.

When SS13 got out of the shower DH told him to look for the flash drive in his room. SS13 came out of his room a couple of seconds later and said it wasn't in there. DH dropped it by saying, "it will turn up".

I checked SS13's room and noticed the flash drive was still under his bed. I decided to leave it there and see if he would take it with him when he left this morning. I took a picture of it with my cell.

It was still there after SS13 left for summer school this morning. The boys are with BM tonight but will be back tomorrow. I decided I'll "find it" tonight. When I put the everybody's laundry away tonight.

I find it amazing how blind DH is when it comes to SS13. I took all the restraint I had not to keep questioning SS13 about the flash drive when he volunteered that it could be in their bedrooms. That was a huge red flag and DH just let it go. :?



EvilAngel's picture

It really burns me up when skids flat out lie and daddy just believes them and does nothing!

kathc's picture

I want to punch your DH in the throat for that.

He'll go look in SS18's room but NOT SS13's? Why the hell not? It's ok to look in one kid's room but not the other? All or nothing, buddy. He should absolutely have gone into SS13's room.

BettyRay's picture

This is an ongoing thing with DH. He assumes SS13 is innocent because he's the "baby" and SS13 will be honest and return it blah blah blah. :sick:

We had many arguments over this in the beginning of our relationship because DH believed they were always innocent and what they said or did shouldn't be questioned. Whereas I was like they're kids, they will manipulate and push to see how far they can take things with parents.

DH should have helped SS13 look for the flash drive or at the very least stood in his bedroom doorway and monitored BUT NO, DH was off doing his own thing and couldn't be bothered.


AllySkoo's picture

I think I'm confused. If he took it to piss you off - like stole it - why would he say he thought it was in one of their rooms at all? And why wouldn't he have taken it, or re-hid it, if he saw it was still under his bed? Why would it be under his bed at all, rather than thrown out or taken to BM's or something?

I dunno, I know I've missed back story, but I'm not seeing the angle here.... Not that there isn't one, but I'm just not seeing it.

BettyRay's picture

My gut is telling me SS13 was going to steal it but that he forgot where he hid it. He has ADHD and is impulsive. When I asked about it he remembered and blurted out the first thing that came into his head. I still think he doesn't remember where he hid it and is too lazy to actually look for it.


Redredwine's picture


They are in denial AND they don't notice things. It's a terrible combination.

I came home one time to one of the skids talking DHs ear off. Pretty fast. Very peppy. Very engaging. I asked DH later if something bad happened with the did he get in trouble? DH said no and asked why. I said that the skid isn't usually like that and it's his MO to suck up hard after doing something wrong. DH said the skid was just into the topic. Fine but my shit-dar was beeping pretty loud. just so happens that the GAL assigned to decide on the HS for the skids visited the private school that day and interviewed the skids. (BM lobbied the skids pretty hard for her school so it's a good bet the skid said he didn't want to be in DHs district and felt guilty.)

bearcub25's picture

No, you go in and pretend look yourself and show your DH that he did indeed took it.

DSO always believed the skids. SS17, at the time, took our bedroom door key off of my keychain once, even YSS said that OSS was messing with my keys. DSO said well OSS said he didn't take it. I went to Walmart at 11pm and bought a new lock for the bedroom. When OSS was permanently gone from the house a few months later, I found the key under a piece of carpet under his bed.

DSO didn't apologize, but at that point his kid was in juvie. I should have searched his room right then or the next day.