Mixed Feelings
I don't know how I feel about this. BM asked DH if we'd be willing to take SSons an additional 2 nights a month. BM is planning on working 2 extra nights a month. I know that doesn't sound like a lot but she doesn't know which nights it will be. It wouldn't affect CS, we have them 6 over-nights a month now, and 2 evenings a month for dinner.
I just don't know how I feel about the extra running across town, she's about 30 minutes away - one way. SSons are in scouts, sports and CCD. It will be a lot of driving.
We haven't told her what we've decided. I'm still mulling it over. I don't mind having them - it's just the extra shuttling back and forth that doesn't appeal to me.
~BettyRay
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I would let your DH agree if
I would let your DH agree if he wants the extra time with them, but ask her to supply the gas money or reduce CS by $50/mo to make up for it, or do the transporting herself. Or at least split the cost, it shouldn't all fall on you guys. But ultimately if your husband is excited to get the extra time, then try to be supportive of that. Its hard on fathers to not get to be in their kids daily lives, I wouldn't be able to handle it!
Being Supportive
We discussed it again last night. DH has reservations as well because BM was vague about the extra nights. He plans on discussing it further with her later this week. DH really wants the extra time with the boys, and I wouldn't mind it as well. DH decided we would not commit to taking the extra time until all of his (our) questions were answered.
~BettyRay
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"PROBLEMS ARE ONLY OPPORTUNITIES IN WORK CLOTHES."
-Henry Kaiser
dh is not a babysitter
especially given she doesnt know which nites it would be...i would say no. maybe counter her and say, yeah we'd love more time w them...how about x and y every month (set specific days, same time each month). if shes not open to that, then say no bc like i said, DH is the FATHER, not the free babysitter.
personally, our lives got so much easier when we cut down on the weekly 3 hr visits...it was just too difficult to get SD for what amounted to less than 2 hrs, not to mention all the harrassment from psycho bm.
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
3 hour visits
I brought up dropping the 2 three hour evening visits we have now if we add the 2 overnights and DH was in agreement with me on that.
I agree with you the 3 hour visits are a pain. Most of the time is spent in transit. The dinner is always rushed. Plus if they haven't finished their homework it's even more stressful. DH is watching the clock to make sure they get dropped off on time.
Add to that when we drop them off sometimes BM isn't home and we have to wait for her.
I feel sorry for DH and SSons on 3 hour visit nights because the time they spend together really isn't quality time.
~BettyRay
________________________________________________________________
"PROBLEMS ARE ONLY OPPORTUNITIES IN WORK CLOTHES."
-Henry Kaiser
If she had a schedule . . . .
it would be better for you to plan. Surely she will find out when she is supposed to work in advance? Otherwise it seems a little weird, like is she just wanting a free babysitter, while you pay the high cost of the gas?
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin