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Yep I am stupid

bbbbb's picture

Due to the drama of all that has gone off with SD2, and the stress that it causing the hubs, like an idiot I started engaging again, not directly but with a bit of advice when asked.

So, this hapened

About 10 mins before this a was joking about something our DD had done and we were laughing about it.

Our DD managed to get SD a job interview at the place her works. So I said “I hope she doesn’t let her down seeing it will be the first job she has every had [she is 37]”, and has openly said that her job is being a mother and will never work. This job is the sort of job that as long as you turn up to the interview and can say you name you will be offered it.

Well the hubs, true to form went on defence mode and said that I am always on her back and never give her a chance.

That is me back to being disengaged.

Comments

Lollybobs's picture

First job at 37...? Oh my!! Not surprised you think there's a chance she might let your daughter down.

Iamwoman's picture

So she has determined that her "job" is to have sex and push out babies? 
What happens when her children are all grown? How will she defend her "mothering" position?

Also, what sort of example is she setting for her children? It seems to me that she is teaching them that a woman is just a breeding/nursing machine.

Is she on welfare too, or has she lured some poor sap into paying for her intercourse and mothering services?

Disneyfan's picture

Here we go with the mommy wars.  There's nothing wrong with a woman being a SAHM if the family can afford for her to do so.

I have never been a SAHM yet I am disgusted by your comments. 

Clearly, the OP's SD can not afford to be a SAHM. Her stupid choices  are not a reflection on all SAHMs.

Iamwoman's picture

Oh good grief. The "mommy wars?" Not something I'm a part of.

Nor was my comment aimed at ALL SAHMs. Only at the OP's SD who CLEARLY has made it goal in life to use her reproductive capabilities as an excuse to leech from another human being.

She is pumping out babies on taxpayer dollars for crying out loud.

Your comments are usually better thought out than this one DisneyFan, so I'll assume whatever mommy wars you're referring to is a personal sore spot.

My sister is a SAHM and a damn good one, but she also has a master's degree and is taking nursing classes while her kids are too young to be in school.
Baffling really that you twisted my comment to apply to you and everyone you know...

bbbbb's picture

yes she claims everything she can, but as her youngest is over 5 she has been told she must find a job or lose some of her benefits

hereiam's picture

Is she the one with 5 kids and neither her nor the BF worked? Just lived off of credit and state benefits?

bbbbb's picture

yes that would be the one, and he isnt coming back, he has found himself a little chicadee.

justmakingthebest's picture

Not to shame any SAHM's, I stayed at home when my kids were babies- but your 1st job at 37??? Just wow. 

She is totally going to blow it. There is no way. She has never had to punch a clock, be accountable for being on task (as I sit here at work typing on Steptalk LOL), she has never had to answer to someone! She is going to get fired or quit before your DD blinks her eyes. 

hereiam's picture

But, I don't think I would consider her a SAHM.

Neither her nor her exBF worked, that's just called lazy and irresponsible. I mean, sure, she's a mom and she stays home.... but neither parent supports their children. So, I guess she was a SAHM and he was a SAHD- how does that work? LOL.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

I agree with JMTB - no way will this woman be able to meet basic workplace expectations.

And I also agree there's a difference between stepping away from career to raise kids for a few years, and never having held down a job at all. This speaks to character and judgement.

My DH's eldest daughter is approaching middle age. She is a SAHM (her only career goal) even though her kids are grown, because she is a narcissist and cannot get along with or take direction from other people. When she was younger and circumstances forced her to work, she was never able to keep any of the five or so different jobs she had. She has a filthy temper and is awkward socially, but it was never her fault when things didn't work out. "I don't want to work, and I don't have to!" she declared as a teen. She's an example of a woman who is a SAHM not because it's best for her family, but because she expects other to support her and her choices.

OP, your H is delusional if he thinks his daughter is normal. So you backslid - we've all done it. Just dust off your resolve, tighten your boundaries, and move forward. Oh, and stock up on popcorn for the sh!tshow, and be sure to update us.