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bbbbb's picture

Well it was my birthday this weekend and 20 months of disengagement I got a gift from the middleshit, and a decent gift at that [Christmas decoration]. The Hubs had accidently taken the gift tag off got I didn’t know who it was from until I had opened it.

The first words to come out of his mouth were, look everything is great now lets go back to all talking. I informed him that I am not materialistic and people actions speak more than what they spend, I also told him that this had been that happiest and calmest year of our married life and I am not willing to change that for the foreseeable future, I am not saying that will never reengage with them but they do not bring anything positive to my life.

I then said its my birthday and I refuse for us to have an argument today so you better suck up your defensive daddy feelings now and put on that happy face


twoviewpoints's picture

This is the SD that didn't get a birthday gift or meal on her birthday this year because you didn't bother reminding her father it was her birthday time, right?

So does she think she and her brood wont get Christmas from Dad either if she doesn't butter you up? Or did maybe Dad buy this birthday gift and claim his daughter did? I mean, he was pretty quick to announce 'there, see, everything fixed so now let's go back to playing family'.

Seems too convenient the gift 'loss' it's tag so there was no identifiable handwriting.

Veritas's picture

See, that is just where my jaded mind goes as well with DH buying the gift and making claim that it is from the skid. I have dealt with too many lies and whispers to believe anything else at this point.

Oh and Happy Birthday BBBBB!

bbbbb's picture

no I think she got it because she actually thinks that if you throw money at any problem it goes away, also he wraps presents like he has no hands. and she want her lovely gifts back that she can resell for a decent amount. the petty in me wants to put the decoration up on a FB sales site which she normally uses }:) }:)

and he is a head in the sand sort of man that just wants his rose tinted glasses back on and while I am refusing to play the game he is having to see them for what they really are

20 months and strong

lieutenant_dad's picture

Even if the gift were genuinely from the middlestep, one decent gift doesn't make up for months or years of disrespect that led to disengagement. A decent gift would "buy" that person polite conversation and a warm thanks that day, but I'd have to see a LOT more effort to re-engage, if I even wanted to.

Also, how pathetic that your DH felt your disrespect over the years and the associated feelings could be wiped away by a trivial gift. He either doesn't get it or doesn't care. Either way, his reaction would be the thing that would ruin my evening, not the gift.

And if your DH DID buy the gift on behalf of middlestep, what a lying and deceptive POS to try and pull the wool over your eyes! He isn't doing it for your benefit (as you said, this has been a calm and peaceful year for you), so he's lying on your birthday in order to make his life easier?! No, no, no! Had he done his job in the first place, he wouldn't need to be scheming now.

Happy birthday, nevertheless. May you have another calm and peaceful year ahead, and may your husband's skull grow less dense.

advice.only2's picture

Lol I love how these Disney Dads think that a gift wipes out an entire lifetime of disrespect and misery.

For my birthday one year SD bought me a card and wrote "I know we don't always get along, but thank you for being my SM" I read it said thank you and put it aside. DH was practically salivating all over himself with joy that SD had done something so sweet and nice for me. I told DH that if he thought buying a person a card and telling them they know they don't get along is considered sweet then he needs to raise his standard of expectations.