Due to the drama of all that has gone off with SD2, and the stress that it causing the hubs, like an idiot I started engaging again, not directly but with a bit of advice when asked.
So, this hapened
About 10 mins before this a was joking about something our DD had done and we were laughing about it.
SD2 boyfriend has just left her with the 5 kids, and the first person she calls is dear old dad. she told him that her ExBF is a deadbeat and he will not be seeing the kids and that she is in loads of debt as he "made her sign". And she needs help. They were the sort of people that had to have the latest thing but didnt work so everything was on credit.The hubs is terrible with money and we have completly seperate money so iam not worried about that.
Well I have been quiet because since I disengaged my life has been alot easier, I dont ask and I am not told about anything in their lives.
But I would just like to share a funny one, I was text last night to inform me that they as a group have decided that they no longer wish for me to be in their lives [disengaged 3 years ago, who no contact at all since then] as i am not inteested theirs.
I think that they finally got the hint*ROFL*
Well it was my birthday this weekend and 20 months of disengagement I got a gift from the middleshit, and a decent gift at that [Christmas decoration]. The Hubs had accidently taken the gift tag off got I didn’t know who it was from until I had opened it.
Well the Christmas shopping has started, and the hubs is already complaining how expensive it is for him - well your brats shouldn't produce like rabbits then, and then expect everyone else to pay for gifts that they then change the tags on to make out that they have bought them, and then sell after Christmas on ebay.
MSD is trying to regain the power, the stupid idiot has finally realised that I am not playing her games anymore, so has informed the hubs that he is not allowed to discuss with me anything to do with her and her brood. And that hell will freeze over before she will speak to me again.
Only found this out as she reminded him on FB, thinking that I may have to block her and as she did not get the hint that I am not interested in her life with the note I sent her in October.
Sat in the car on the way to friends yesterday and I just happen to say "should we do xyy next weekend?" the hubs says no I am going to see my grandchild because I haven't seen them since you refused to have anything to do with them. Excuse me have you lost the ability to move your arms and legs.......
I then reminded him that we are a 2 car family and at no point have I told him that he cannot see them, but also I would not be reminding that visits are due as they are no longer in my life. and not to blame me if his priorities are different to mine.
The positive side of disengagement
for the last ten years they have got me down [SD's ], and I didn't realise who much until my friends have noticed how much happy I seem. I feel a lot more upbeat about myself and the hub.
New haircut and started redecorating the house as I did not have the motivation before.
Its the not having to second guess myself all the time, I am doing things now for the people I care about out of love, and not doing things out of obligation or pressure
I just realised how free I feel now
DH just dropped into the conversation that he has all the 3 SGD’s next Saturday, and what will I be doing on that day?
I will be having a lovely day on my own walking round our local city; you will be getting thrown out of any café you take the wild bunch in [like we have done the last 4 times we have taken them out].
Loving this disengagement malarkey
Well its MSD birthday today and this is the first year of my disengagement.
The Hubs has forgotten so there was no flower delivery this morning and no meal booked for tonight. The texts to him have started. I have started to batch cook so I do not get pulled in.
Think she has realised who did all the organising as I have had a message “ I think we should meet for coffee” hell no!!!!!
I have had a very calm 5 months at home as I have asked him to discuss them at all and he has honoured that.