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Reading others blogs, I'm not sure my issues deserve a rant!!!

baseballgirly's picture

I've been reading others blogs quite a bit lately. Turns out I'm slightly addicted to this site now!! :jawdrop: There are a lot of really, really crappy situations out there that make me like mine just a litte bit more!! Well... I still don't like my situation.... I guess I'm just glad I'm not in theirs!! (That sounds bad I know... but it is what it is)

My CL and I only have his kids every second weekend and BM (although not being a very involved/good parent) isn't a psychopath. So I do have some things to be thankful for. I get mad at CL for not sticking up for himself more when it comes to BM and he says he does it just to keep the peace because she could make his life hell... although it makes me mad that he seems to be a pushover when it comes to her, it does keep the peace. He still hates talking to her and does everything in his power to have no interaction with her, they don't have any fights or falling outs or issues between them. On the other hand, he has NO IDEA what his kids are doing, how they are doing, anything about thier lives except what they tell him. He never speaks ill of her to his boys and if she needs to switch weekends or needs him to pick up the kids early or somewhere else, he always says yes.

Here is where I get a little more angry about these situations..... She asks every long weekend that she has them to switch. So, to date we have had the boys EVERY SINGLE LONG WEEKEND SINCE WE'VE STARTED DATING!!! For me it's an issue since it's a whole extra freaking day and night with these two ungrateful brats!!!

The other problem is that CL and his EX have no communication even when it comes to their kids! They don't discuss anything. From school work to health, it's all a guessing game! CL doesn't know how they are doing in school until "Parent/teacher conference day". He has to get the bill in the mail to know that they've been to the dentist or eye doctor. He has to get told by the kids that the older one is going into a special reading class because he is behind in reading. He just lets the older one wet the bed assuming it's what he does at home... no idea if he wears a diaper or been to the doctor.

It's soooo frustrating because all they have to do is open up the line of communication a little bit and it can be sooo much easier for everyone and the kids especially will benefit!!! I can't make him talk to her, but it is the source of a few of our big fights. They should be on the same page of where they are at in teaching the kids something.... I started teaching SS8 how to tie a bow in the summer.... he didn't mention it until lately to his BM so he hasn't been practicing at home. Now that he mentioned it, she's been helping him practice and now he can tie a bow.

It just seems that these parents collectively do not like teaching their kids things on their own. They are two people that rely on teachers, babysitters and others to do their parenting for them and their lack of communication is obsurdly childish and sickening.

I think the only thing that will make me feel better would be slamming their heads together. }:)


alwaysanxious's picture

Dad should be able to get online to see the kids grades if the school has a system set up.

He can also call the school for this info and talk to the teachers himself. He does not need to wait for BM to tell him things. He needs to be proactive. All he need do is tell the teachers that he would like to be contacted if his kids are having problems, or just call and ask how his child is doing in school. Do the kids not discuss schooling with him on visits? (I know they can lie,but just makes them feel like dad is on top of things)

Personally, I'd be thankful that BM and CL don't talk. it took me some time to get BM and SO that way. She used to call about stupid stuff and I would get really mad.

I'd be irritated about the long weekends too. This typically happens to us, but its because the kids want to see their dad more.