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Back from sugery guys!! Not surprised and SD and MIL's lack of empathy.

bananaseedo's picture

So, all, I came back from surgery yesterday for my broken tibia/fibula right above ankle area-I have a little mini hardware store now in my leg.   I was blown away on the care/treatment I got from every single person there. Outstanding!  All went well and am back home.  Heavily medicated and I had two nerve blocks that thank god have not fully worn out yet !

My SO has surprised me as have my kids-they are typical 'let mom do EVERYTHING" kind of guys so being waited on hand and foot is not quite bad ha!  My mom also has been amazing (as I knew she woud) coming to watch the dogs/teens and doing groceries, making us meals, helping to clean up, moral support.  I TRULY have a gem with my mom.

Then enter SD and MIL-not one call, when they saw SO they never asked how I was or how surgery went, nothing.  But then again they are the most selfish/self-absorbed, manipulative people I've ever known.

SD came by the other day to pick up food for them.  Yes, they went to Sam's got a ton of meat/fish so SO could cook it and we get to use it also but we send home with them-this was before i broke my foot.  Yesterday SO took HIS 2 pieces of salmon to his mom.  She's mastered the helpless manipulator/guilt-trip act for sure.  She's NOT that incapacitated she can't cook, she's just refused for years. My FIL (RIP) catered to her every whim. Now she guilt trips SD, SO and BIL to do her bidding all the time. 

Is it me or shouldn't SD/MIL say, hey- bring us back the remainder food, let us cook for YOU and bring you food.  NOPE.

But SD has no problems asking for rides to stupid shit-non essential.  I was furious yesterday she called him, asked nothing about surgeyr went and asked for a ride to give up ANOTHER dog they've had for a couple years...of course they have his replacement as of Christmas.  They are you stereotypical ignorant, HORRIBLE pet parents. NO teen should own dogs, especially because she lives with MIL who does NOT want dogs.

I told him NO-not happening, we are not using our gas/time/miles to have her drop off her dog like trash (at least it's going back to the breeder because tha'ts one of the things I recommended other then rescue).  She already has a soccer game he was taking to her later.  I could have started a fight-instead I texted her we have a follow-up and she and her BF need to find another way to get her to the breeder  but we would likely be back in time for SO to get her to the game if BF couldn't.  He said it's likely BF is using job as an excuse and feels he can't handle giving her back/embarrased. I told him GOOD.  This is a teachable moment-I want them to feel every second of guilt for their decisions as possible so they learn not to make pets disposable.  I recall giving all the info to get her into training that would make her a great do. But you know, no money, though they do for partying, tattoos, weekly nail salon trips, tanning bed (middle of winter). 

No, she doesn't have a car and her BF works all day so cant do a lot of things he did for them, so now they call SO for everything-he is weary they learn UBER because well- he's been well trained to never turn them down or he gets a guilt trip-God forbid they are responsible for themselves.  Sorry long vent. 

You truly learn who has your back and not with something like this. My neighbor let me borrow a wheelchair and knee scooter until I'm better.  I'm so very grateful!  My insurance cost is outrageous for any of those things!  I have a walker  and shower chair that used to be my dads.  Crutches too but no way am I wearing those with big Weims underfoot lol.  I'm complete non-weight bearing for a while.  I'm hoping if I recover ok this weekend to return to work but from home for a few weeks unti I can drive. 

Anyways, that's my update :)  Going to rest up a bit.



ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

So glad it went well!!! Also I'm thrilled your SO is taking such good care of you! You deserve it!!!

Iamwoman's picture

Congratulations on a successful surgery bananaseedo.

Try not to let the b1!ches get to you. I used to be VERY involved in my church and community, and was often a go-to person, and of a “serve others” mentality, but when I had pneumonia for 6 months a few years back, not ONE church member or community member checked up on me.

I was so hurt. I had given so much to all around me. Then when I found out that some church members thought I was “simply straying from God,” and took that opportunity to turn their noses down on me while I was actually very sick a close to death at one point because of immunity complications, I became VERY angry.

I chastised the whole community on FB and to anyone who called me to follow up on those posts. Long story short, some people were offended that I called them out on their hypocrisy while others simply continued to not care.

Thats when I realized that I am a better person than them and they don’t deserve me.

After you’re healed banana, if I were you, I wouldn’t do a single darn thing for SD or MIL EVER again, nor would I ever inquire about their well being again. ...and if DH tries to inform you of their future illnesses anyway, I would respond “I’m sorry to hear that. I guess karma really does exist.” Wink

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Glad to hear your surgery went well, Banana. I hope your recovery is fast, comp!ete, and uncomplicated.

Your SD and MIL are showing you the type of relationship they want with you - a nonexistent one. Teachable moment, so move forward free of guilt as you never lift a finger for them again.