UGH!

attempting_to_maintain_composure's picture

FDH was all set to talk to GUBM and let her know what we know: that if SD doesn't do schoolwork when she's at her house, then she risks expulsion from the cyber school. And if she gets expelled from the cyber school, then will have to move out here full-time in order to attend the public school in our district, where she's enrolled. I'm figuring that it would at least light a fire under GUBM's ass if she thinks she will risk losing ALL of her CS - because lord knows she doesn't give a rat's ass about SD's best interests or well-being and only cares about money. FDH said that she would probably try to bicker it out with him and try to coerce him into withdrawing SD and some other stupid bull, but, that's all she could really do if SD gets expelled.

Quick aside: The beautiful part of this, IMO, is that when FDH signed SD up for cyber school, he told GUBM to send a copy of her driver's license so he could list her as the other parent, because he wasn't going to stoop to her level and omit her information from the forms like she did at SD's last school. Well, GUBM didn't, so FDH couldn't list her. So now, due to her own failings as a functioning human being, GUBM is in the exact same predicament that FDH found himself in last year - her kid is enrolled in a school district and she can't do anything about it lol.

So, if SD were to leave our district, it would be because FDH signed her out. And he's not planning on doing that because he wants his kid to finish school, unlike himself and GUBM. Which is pretty fricken normal if you ask me; after all, normal parents want better for their kids than they had themselves.

ANYWHO: He planned to talk to SD first to explain the severity of this situation to her, but, after a long ass phone call with SD crying and telling him how unreasonable GUBM is and trying to beg him not to ever talk to GUBM because she's been extra disagreeable lately and she gets worse when she talks to FDH (becauase a 14 year old can dictate his role as a parent???), FDH went right back to where he was before my counselor and I talked it out with him on Tuesday - "GUBM is just going to lie, there's no point, if I ask her if she checks on SD's schoolwork she's just going to lie and tell me that she's totally involved and totally checks all the time." Not the point of texting her, FDH!

I had to remind him the point of texting GUBM was not to find out if she's checking on SD's schoolwork, but to give her a little kick in the ass and remind her that technically, SD's residence is with us in PGH because she's enrolled in school here. And that if SD gets expelled, she will be out here full-time. And that if GUBM tries to keep SD from completing school out here, the hammer will come down. In not so many words of course ^_^

Why, oh why, does he have to flip flop so much? It's so frustrating, but more so because he does it after he talks with SD. EVERY time! That was one of my biggest frustrations last time she was here, he and I would discuss things related to SD and her lack of follow-through or following the rules and we would determine what a good consequence would be, but, the moment he would talk to SD, he would completely change his mind. And why does he have to let his child dictate his parenting? That's just straight up stupid and foolish. He's giving a child power over him!

I laid most of this out for him last night - minus the SD dictating his role as a parent which will be a conversation for tonight, when we have nowhere to be and nothing to do. Honestly, if it were me, I would have handled this weeks ago, when I first found out that GUBM was possibly preventing SD from doing her schoolwork. I would have said "Sorry, SD, but, I need to talk to GUBM about this because that's my job as your parent. I need to make sure you have what you need at both houses and clearly, you still need time and support to do school at GUBM's and you are not getting that." And I'm sure it's really easy to say that when you're not the one in the thick of it, but, seriously. They act like such fools sometimes.