Hair dye all over the apartment!
OK, maybe all over is a bit dramatic, but, if it's in more than one room, it's a bit much for me. FDH and I are both totally fine with SD dying her hair blue. He and I have had some funky colors in our hair over the years - I had purple streaks in mine shortly after I met SD and I currently have red ombre that needs touched up.
But, the deal we made with her was that she would be diligent when dying her hair so as to try not to get hair dye all over the place, and, that she would clean it all up when she's done. If she makes a mess and doesn't clean it up, then she can't dye her hair. We all agreed that it was more than fair because we don't really want blue stains all over the place and FDH and I shouldn't have to clean up after a 14 year old ever.
FDH made her clean up after herself the other day when he let her touch up her hair, but, she did a bad job of it. There is still blue dye all over things in our shower and now I have come to find out that she has gotten blue dye on a heating pad AND the leather chair we have in our living room. :O Granted, she dyed her hair two days ago, so I'm not sure if that showed up yesterday or the day before. But, c'mon! Really??
I'm not even going to talk about it until after FDH gets up because I'm more than a little annoyed by this and I know that it's going to be excuses about why she's really not at fault. And, to be honest, I'm already a little annoyed today because she didn't start her schoolwork when she was supposed to and she's been spending the last almost three hours on an exam for Math, because she's goofing off on her cell phone more than doing work. But that's besides the point.
We have told her numerous times since the first time FDH put this blue dye in her hair back in November that she needs to make sure she properly and thoroughly rinses her hair until the water runs crystal clear so that she doesn't stain anything when her hair is wet. Obviously, that didn't happen this time.
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Comments
Man, that would irritate me
Man, that would irritate me no end. Grrr (on your behalf!)
I think you were on the money when you said the other things that are irritating you are beside the point (for now).
I think you COULD handle this on your own, if you chose.
I'd sit down with her, maybe over a cup of tea, and tell her that you've found hair dye in a lot of places it doesn't belong, and there might be some things that got damaged and need replacing. Tell her that you know this is her responsibility, so you haven't done anything about it yet. Tell her that since she hasn't done anything about yet either, that you're aware of, that maybe she needs some support in this.
The support you're willing to offer is:
1. Review with her the inappropriate places hair dye has been found. (Make sure she's aware of all the mess she's made.)
2. Check all the easy clean-up to make sure it's clean enough.
3. Help her find solutions to clean up difficult messes or items that need to be replaced by her.
And I wonder about the no more hair dye consequence... is that forever, a time frame, or when she's paid for the damage plus a time frame, etc etc?
Well, tomorrow she's set to
Well, tomorrow she's set to clean the bathroom so, I'll make sure to have either myself or FDH go over the blue stains in there with her (tub, walls, shower curtain liner - thankfully NOT my awesomely amazing batman shower curtain). Then, we'll go over the blue stains on my heating pad and chair. But I like your three step approach to offering help. FDH swears he had her clean up after herself, but, he didn't check when she was done. So, now he's going to be checked if he checks again lol.
We never put a time limit on the no more hair dye policy if she were to make a mess and not clean it up. I know I'd be willing to negotiate it with her, and I'm sure FDH would be as well, so as to determine an appropriate length of time on the ban. Of course, he and I would need to discuss it first, and then there's the issue of figuring out when we would be willing to give her another chance at dyeing her hair when she's here.
The three steps was how I
The three steps was how I think about hmmmm what expectations are realistic? It's reasonable to expect her to clean up after herself, but it's also possible that she needs help in understanding what's involved and how to do it successfully. So walking her through how to manage this goal helps her to be responsible and learn the skills to meet this expectation. As well as teaching her about natural consequences - maybe she's not a careful person, so now there's a mess all over. But if she has to clean and/or replace everything she's touched, next time she will touch far less. Or develop more careful strategies
Very, very true! She doesn't
Very, very true! She doesn't come to us with a lot of skills. Sure, GUBM drags her to work with her to clean houses, and SD has professed that she's getting very good at cleaning, lol, so we can definitely help guide her in all of this and helping her to learn the outcome if she isn't as careful as she should be.
Your SDs are so ridiculous.
Your SDs are so ridiculous. It's like, they're both 5 inside.
Woah. It sounds like your SDs
Woah. It sounds like your SDs are characters in a really bad sitcom.