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atsecondplace's Blog

THE END IS NEAR!!!

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I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to the wonderful people on StepTalk! Soon we'll be in the 2020 vision. And SD will be taken off our insurance, car transferred into her name and the last link to our coffers snipped. I don't even care if I have to foot the bill for the transfer. It's still cheaper than paying for the registration.

SD’s christmas lunch

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Normally DH and SD catch up for Christmas. Not on actual Christmas Eve/Day mind you - that's BM's family's domain. They usually set it in the week leading up to Christmas and some fancy restaurant where DH forks over her pricey Christmas gift and foots the dinner bill.

Anyone else out there with a BM that refuses to accept child support ends when kids reach 18?

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DH caught up with SD20. Meeting did not go down well. She's been told previously that he'll fund her until the end of the year and reiterated it yesterday. Not a happy camper.

Her response? "I don't earn very much and it'll be hard for mum to make up the difference"

Selective narcissism?

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I’ve been reading way too many articles about narcissists/narcissism to better predict and work with DH to shut down BM’s antics and it occurred to me that she doesn’t show the same narcissistic traits towards SD. Hmmm is there such a thing as selective narcissism?

What a predictable parasite

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DH had his surgery 3 weeks ago and went back to hospital 3 days ago for his checkup. Some aspects went well. Some parts not healing as well due to a hospital stuff up. SD sent a standard "get well soon" message a few days after the initial operation but hasn't shown her face or offered any help while DH was recuperating. 

Since ignoring BM, there's been nothing from SD. He's texted her to let her know that it's not healing well. Hopes to catch up with her soon. Please let him know when she's available. .....*crickets chirping*

UPDATE: crazy BM

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I didn’t block BM. I sat DH down and said that the meeting isn’t going ahead. There isn’t anything that they can’t discuss over text. EVER. He freaked out and said I’m cutting even more time with SD out of his life if for the rest of his life he’s not allowed to talk to BM. It’ll prevent him from attending any family functions (if they ever invite him!). I clarified that I won’t lose it if they happen to attend the same event and he eyeballs her from across the room. Keep the discussion to the champagne and canapés. Stuff that you discuss in front of a room full of randoms.

To block or not to block the crazy Ex....

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So DH promised me that at the end of the year he will stop payments going to estranged adult SD. A sore point for both of us because he has guilty daddy syndrome and I hate seeing our money thrown into the black hole.

As predicted the end of the year is nearing and BM who has no contact with DH sends him a text asking if they can meet up to discuss SD. DH says of course. She'll let him know later so they can set a meeting for a few weeks from now.