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Update on Adopting....

AshMar654's picture

DH and I met with a different lawyer last night. We liked this one much better and also his fee was way more reasonable. Anyway he said all good things pretty much telling us we have nothing to worry about. We have a good case and all should be ok. He did say it would be easiest if she went ahead and consented and signed the documents.

He said if she does not consent there will still he a hearing to terminate and adopt at the same time. If she shows they will stop the hearing and reschedule it. They will then appoint a lawyer for SS and she would have to get one. But he said he knows the lawyers and with her being absent for so long and having no contact we would still have a good case. I am not worried.

DH has decided to try to get her consent first. He is going to try to reach out to her via social media, as that is the only way either of us know how to get in contact with her. He will wait till we file all the paperwork and everything to contact her. The lawyer said it would not be a bad idea for him to reach out to her.

This will be interesting to say the least. I am not really worried about me finally being able to adopt SS. I am worried that it will drag out and take a long time if she is not just going to consent. If all goes smooth it will only take a couple months. The county I live in apparently they are not shy about terminating parental rights as long as there is proof or neglect and someone who is responsible and capable is willing to step up. At least I got that going for me. Maybe the courts are starting to realize more and more that biology is not all that maters when caring for a child.

Comments

twoviewpoints's picture

Is SS aware what what is happening as to attempt to adopt? You might have said, but I don't always have time to read all the blogs I might like too. 

I'm curious if he is aware, is he excited that you are going to legally and really be Mom? 

I might be way off, but I don't anticipate BM doing anything but quietly signing off and not interfering at all, either with the court stuff or any attempts to see the child. It's been too long. She's been too quiet. I believe she will be content knowing her child is happy and thriving in his little family. If she meant to come back and/or cause trouble, IMO she had done it long ago. 

 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I'm with twoviewpoints. She may be glad to have that burden lifted off of her. (not syaing your SS is a burden, just she seems to not want to be involved) No more worrying someone may come after her for Child Support. Not having to worry about the legal aspects. Just be done with something she walked away from a long time ago.

AshMar654's picture

Yes he is aware. I thought it best he knew what we were doing.

He did not fully understand or grasp all of it. In his mind I am his mom already and I became his official mom when his dad and I got married. Kids rational is so simple sometimes. We explained it to him. We asked if he would be ok with being his legal mom and explained to him that his BM technically needs to give us permission. We said she needs to say it is ok.

His response was yea sure. Again in his mind I am already mom and it was for sure when I married his daddy. Have to keep it somewhat simple for him and also be careful. We said it in a way that she still does not look bad but we still get the outcome we are hoping for.